Holding on to a lie
by paranoid woman
Summary: LAST CHAPTER NOW UP - David believed that the road would be empty, but he was wrong. Set after "The Connections Series" written by me. Warning: Charlie/Colby, SLASH. Feedback is love.
1. Return of a fallen angel

**Title:** "Return of a fallen angel"  
**Series**: _Holding on to a lie_, part 1/?  
**Characters:** Charlie/Colby, Don, Larry, Amita  
**Rating:** M  
**Spoilers:** None.  
**Summary:**There are people who just shouldn't come back, but they do it anyways, with mysterious purposes.

**Feedback:** I love feedback. 

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Numb3rs or anything related to it, but I do own the original ideas and any OCs.  
**Beta:**_Thanks to my amazing beta._

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Holding on to a lie

**Part 1: "Return of a fallen angel"  
**

"So when this curve becomes parallel to this other one, then you've found a way to apply the theory to an actual case of rape," Charlie explained, while he threw his hands in the air, and then he continued writing more numbers on the blackboard. "This could also help me to solve this impossible problem that I've been working on for years… It's not P vs. NP, but it's close. I don't think it'll be as hard as that, therefore I guess I'm going to give it a try. There're some deviations of a very famous algorithm that was formulated two hundred years ago and that has taken over the mathematicians' mind for years, and—"

He stopped. He focused on Colby's eyes, watching him from distance. His lover was sat on the desk, his desk at CalSci, the desk that Charlie sometimes had fantasies about.

Colby's green eyes were distracting, as well as what he might be thinking about. However, Charlie managed to say, "Sorry… I'm boring you, am I? I shouldn't have started talking about that curves, I usually can't stop…"

The other man left the desk and went towards him. "Nah, that's all right. I like to hear you speak."

Charlie took a deep breath, because his lover was smiling and that always made electricity run through his whole body. He just wanted to grab Colby and kiss him right in that moment, but they were at the university and they were supposed to keep the secret. No one but their loved ones should know about the deep connection they shared.

It was such a quiet afternoon, and Charlie was there with the one he loved the most. And he knew that Colby liked to hear him speak, no matter how much boring math sounded to him. The mathematician smiled widely; Colby did too, and they both blushed.

They had just gone back to their places, Charlie to the backboard, Colby to the desk, when Don entered the office. "Hey, guys."

"Don," his brother muttered, while Colby nodded to say "hi." "Is everything ok?"

"Yeah, yeah…"

"Is there a case?"

"Um… no. Nothing you can work on, anyway."

"Ok…" It wasn't usual that Don came to CalSci if he hadn't had a case, unless he had something important about a family matter to talk to Charlie. "Then, what brings you here?"

This time Don took himself a second to find the right words to say. "Dad's feeling sick, and well… he's making me a little crazy."

"Why? He's never been like that."

"Well, of course you think that, you're not answering your phone!"

In that moment, Charlie remembered that, given the fact that this morning was supposed to be very quiet, he had decided to turn off his cell phone. If there were any cases, the FBI team could let him know about it by sending him an e-mail. There were ways to contact him that didn't require him to interrupt his long talk with his lover.

"Oh, sorry about that," he apologized while he pulled out his phone from his jacket, "I was kind of busy."

When Don turned around to look at Colby, he made an awkward little gesture that made Charlie think that he was imagining what the distraction could be. He smiled and when he turned on his phone, he found that he had lots of missing calls. "Wow, he called me seventeen times, and it's only eleven," he announced, checking his clock.

"Exactly! And like I always answer my calls, because of course, I have to, he's asking me to do everything!"

"Ok, ok… What does he need?"

"I think the question is what he doesn't need," Don corrected his brother.

Suddenly, Colby's laughter came from behind him, and it drove Charlie and Don's attention to him. "Sorry," Colby muttered, "I just can't imagine Alan chasing you both so you do the laundry and clean up the house."

"We work, Colby. And we love our Dad, but he just has a cold. I don't know what's going on with him, but he's been driving me nuts all morning!" Don made a little pause and then he spoke to his brother. "I had to go home and do the laundry two hours ago. And I had to go clean up the bathroom half an hour ago."

Behind Don, Colby nodded, in a gesture that meant that he was proud that he had anticipated that. Charlie giggled and that made Don ask, "What? Is that funny to you?"

"No, no, I didn't mean…"

"I'd like to see you fulfill Dad's requests, buddy. I haven't seen you at home much this weekend. I understand why you're not there," Don said, and he looked at Colby, knowing that Charlie and he had spent most of the weekend together, "but I can't take care of Dad all by myself with my work and everything, I need you to help me."

"Fine, I'll do it. If there's no case I could help you with, then I could go home and tried to comfort Dad."

"I could go with you," Colby stepped into the conversation again, going towards the Eppes brothers, "if you'd like me to, of course."

Charlie's smile became even wider. "I would be more than happy if you'd help me to take care of my Dad."

Colby smiled too, and then don said, "Ok, now that we've got a deal, maybe I can go work on a case for a while in peace."

"But Don, what's so bad about helping your father?" Colby wanted to know, while he grabbed his stuff and his jacket, and Charlie grabbed his papers and his laptop.

The answer was quick and sincere. "Because, like I said two times already, he's making me insane! He's not in bed. When I was cleaning the bathroom, he stood at the door, telling me that there were spots here and there!"

"You're kidding," the mathematician muttered, laughing, and when Don shook his head, he added, "Oh god, I have to see that. It's so weird!"

They had just left the room, laughing and making jokes, when someone passed them by. The three of them froze.

And they turned around.

There she was.

"Amita…" Charlie muttered.

The woman that had passed them by stopped walking. Her long, dark hair rested on her shoulders and she was wearing casual clothes. She looked just like the Amita everybody knew.

She slowly turned around and went towards them without a doubt. "Oh, sorry, guys. I didn't see you."

Charlie, Colby and Don looked at each other. Charlie knew that all of them wondered what to say, and why the hell she was acting so normal when everybody knew that she was supposed to be in India, according to what David had said.

"Weren't you in…" the mathematician started to say, and it was difficult for him to put the words together, because the shock of seeing his ex-girlfriend again had been very overwhelming.

"I was at my apartment, where I live," Amita responded, like she had no idea why Charlie was acting so weird.

It was all so confusing. Colby then intervene and stated, "But I went there looking for David, and one of your neighbors, an old lady, she told me that you had left to India."

All of a sudden, she started to laugh. "What? No, that would be crazy. Yes, I locked up my apartment, and I thought I wanted to leave, but then I actually considered the idea and I realized that it was better for me to stay here."

"Please, tell me that you're getting some help. I mean, after all that's happened, the least you could do, just in case, would be seeing a therapist or something," Don suggested, and he seemed warm to the idea of Amita coming back.

Charlie thought that maybe it was better for her to stay and see a professional who could help her to get over the pain of the kidnapping and all the changes her life had been through lately. And when Amita said that she would accept any help the FBI offered in terms of a psychological treatment, he took a deep breath and imagined that everything would be ok for her soon. "I'm glad you're trying to get back on track."

This time she held his gaze and muttered, "I'm not trying, Charlie, I'm already back on track. I'm here to see if I can convince CalSci's board to let me start working again. I need the thrill of making experiments, building up devices, giving classes. I need to feel like things can go back to normal again… even if I know that they're different and that some stuff isn't going to change."

When she said that, she looked at Charlie, then at Colby, then back at Charlie. The mathematician had understood the message. She had to concentrate on the things she had always been attached to so that would make her forget all the pain Charlie had caused her after leaving her for Colby.

"I'm sorry, guys, I have my meeting with the board now. I'll see you later." Amita left them pretty much speechless, and the three men followed her with their eyes while she walked to the end of the hallway.

"I had no idea that I would see her again," Charlie whispered.

"Me neither," Colby said, and he seemed to be holding a lot of thoughts to himself. Charlie would try to figure out what he was thinking about later, because right now he was completely astonished by Amita's return.

"Well, at least she's trying to get better, you know," Don argued. "I think that's the best thing she could do. We were all worried about her going to India without having dealt with the situation here."

"Yeah, maybe." Colby's response sounded a little sarcastic. He started to walk around, his hands on his hips, his cheeks blushing.

It was weird for Charlie to see him like that, when they were just starting their relationship. After all, only two days ago he had made it clear that all he wanted was them to be together. Why was Colby suddenly acting like he was jealous or mad, like Charlie had appeared to be attracted to Amita again?

Larry's appearance made the mathematician stop making guesses and Colby stop walking around. "Hello!" He was wearing a lab coat, glasses and gloves, and he had a big smile on his face.

"What are you doing, Larry?" Don asked.

"Oh, nothing dangerous, but extremely entertaining for a physicist like me. We're separating simple molecules and proteins… All very simple, very old fashioned." After saying that, Larry laughed in excitement, but he stopped when he saw Charlie's face. "Charles, is there something wrong?"

There was this possibility that Amita had talked to Larry and let him know that she was thinking about going back to work. So Charlie said, "Did you know that Amita's back in LA? Or, to be more accurate, that she never left the city in the first place?"

Larry's shocked expression let Charlie know that he hadn't heard the news. "What? No, I had no idea… I haven't seen her, is she here?"

"Yeah. She's in a meeting with CalSci's board, trying to make them let her return to her old job."

"Oh… that's very… interesting," Larry muttered, like he was talking to himself, while he ran his fingers over the back of his head in an awkward movement.

"Why do you say that?" was Colby's answer.

"Yeah, why would you think that's interesting, besides shocking?" Charlie added.

Now Larry looked thoughtful, like when he was about to make a comparison to a theory. And that's exactly what he did. "Well, it's very similar to the return of the fallen angel. Just like Lucifer, she was pushed away from the Heavens she used to live in when she was with you. I just hope she hasn't come back to claim her lost territory."

That last sentence made Charlie shiver. He saw that Colby was starting to get worried again because his cheeks were turning into a more furious red than before. But Don didn't seem to have taken Larry's words very seriously. He just kept talking to the scientist, asking him about his experiments just for fun, and he was laughing every time Larry pointed out some kind of weird idea that he obviously didn't understand.

Maybe Charlie was worrying about nothing. Maybe Amita had come back for good. He couldn't know that for sure, thought. He would have to wait to find out why she had returned to the crowded, noisy, full of crime City of Los Angeles.

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_**A/N: FEEDBACK IS LOVE.**_


	2. There she was

**Title:** "Return of a fallen angel"  
**Series**: _Holding on to a lie_, part 2/?  
**Characters:** Colby/Charlie, Alan  
**Rating:** M  
**Spoilers:** None.  
**Summary:**Colby starts to get worried about Amita's plans regarding Charlie.

**Feedback:** I love feedback. 

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Numb3rs or anything related to it, but I do own the original ideas and any OCs.  
**Beta:**_Thanks to my amazing beta._

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

Holding on to a lie

**Part 2: "There she was"  
**

When Charlie and Colby got into the mathematician's still damaged residence, there was no sign of Alan anywhere.

"Your Dad's been cleaning up a lot," Colby muttered, looking at the nicer atmosphere of the house, even if the room was pretty much completely destroyed. "Or maybe Don did, considering that he's been at least two times here already today." He was trying to make Charlie smile at the funny idea of Don doing the tasks of a housewife, and he knew that he had succeeded when his lover laughed happily.

"Probably," Charlie responded, and then he raised his voice. "Dad? Where are you?"

A massive amount of sneeze noises came from the kitchen, and when both men went in, there it was Alan blowing his nose on a Kleenex. "Oh, sorry that I didn't answer, guys. I have a bit of a cold."

"Are you ok?" Charlie asked, and he looked worried about his father.

"Yeah, yeah… It's nothing."

"Not according to Don."

After those words, Alan shook his head and explained, "I know, I've been driving him crazy all day. I tried to call you more than once, but you weren't answering your phone."

"I was at CalSci, working on very important curves for a theory that could be applied to a rape situation."

"Yeah, and then Don came in, to tell you weren't feeling all right," Colby intervened for the first time. To some extent, he felt a little guilty that he had actually liked the fact that Charlie had put down his phone to spend some quality time with him. Maybe he had been a distraction for the mathematician when his father needed him the most.

"I take it as you were there with Charlie when that happened." Looking a little tired, Alan suddenly sneezed again and pulled out another Kleenex from his pocket so he could blow his nose in it. "Oh, this damn cold is getting worse at every minute."

"You know, it could get worse if you're not careful." Charlie lovingly put a hand on his father's shoulder and stated, "Do you know how incredibly high the odds for a simple cold to turn into pneumonia are?"

Alan turned to his son and asked with a surprised look, "Oh, and hearing you say that is supposed to make feel better?"

That made Charlie laugh. "No, it's not, you're right." He smiled at Colby, who laughed silently. "Anyways, why don't you lie down for a while?"

"I can't. There are tons of things to do in this house. I've taken care of some of them, and your brother has too, but still…"

"Dad, go to bed."

"Yeah, Mr. Eppes, Charlie and I could help you with anything you'd like," Colby suggested.

Even if he looked completely exhausted, Alan shook his head and insisted that he wanted to do some cleaning himself. "Oh, boys, I don't want to bother you, I still have some energy to vacuum—" Another terrible sneeze made him and the others jump in their places. Charlie even held his father, who seemed about to faint.

"Dad, I'm not getting into a discussion with you because of this. You need to rest. We'll take care of everything, not you, and that's not negotiable."

While he blew his nose yet again, Alan seemed to recognize that maybe it would be better for him to slow down. "Fine… If it's not negotiable, what can I do?" He smiled and awkwardly walked to the bedroom.

Charlie and Colby immediately joined him, watching him get into the bed. When Alan's son helped him to get comfortable by arranged the sheets, Colby blushed, thinking about how wonderful his lover was.

"Hey, Mr. Eppes, what needs to be done?" he asked, trying to hold the smile that wanted to make his mouth curve in an incredibly childish smirk.

"Vacuuming… and calling someone who can help me fix the house… Those are the most important tasks, for now," Alan muttered, rubbing his eyes.

"Then don't worry about it, it's in our hands," his son reassured him, patting his shoulder and then going towards the door.

When Charlie joined him and both of them walked into the kitchen, Colby couldn't stop smiling widely and sometimes even giggling. He was so grateful that he had found someone who was so tender and caring, someone who was always so willing to help.

"He doesn't want to stop, not for a second," Charlie suddenly asked, smiling himself while he leaned on the counter. "Is that what's making you smile?"

Colby opened the faucet and started to wash some dishes that had been left there. "Nah, it's not that, not really."

"Then what?"

"Nothing… it's silly. I'm acting silly." In fact, Colby felt a little overwhelmed and surprised to find himself thinking about how perfect and happy everything was between Charlie and him.

"Oh, c'mon, tell me."

It was wonderful for Colby to feel Charlie's lips on his cheek, asking him to talk to him. "Um… well… The reason is you, pretty much."

"Me?" Charlie was obviously impressed in a positive way.

"Yeah. You're a good son."

It seemed that Colby's words had left Charlie speechless, because the agent didn't hear him say anything for a few seconds. But then Charlie whispered to his ear, "Thank you… You have no idea how good is hearing that from you."

"Hey, I say what I see."

They kissed slowly, and then Charlie stepped aside. "Maybe I should go do the vacuuming before he starts asking if it's done already," he said.

"That's probably true. Remember what Don said about him making him insane with the little spots in the bathroom."

Again, Charlie laughed. "I'd pay for photos of that," he muttered, and left the kitchen. When he heard the sound of the vacuum cleaner, Colby smiled thinking about his lover. It felt almost natural for him to be washing the dishes while Charlie took care of something else in the house. After all that had happened in the residence, the place finally felt quiet and secure.

Five minutes later, he wondered if it wouldn't be a good idea to check how Alan was, so he left the kitchen, passed by his lover and went to the bedroom. There, Charlie's father was reading a book and luckily, he looked a little better.

"How's everything going, Colby?" Alan said, putting down the book and taking off his glasses.

"It's going ok. I just wanted to see how you were feeling," Colby responded, putting his hands into his jeans' pockets, feeling somehow weird and nervous that he was alone with his partner's dad.

"I think I'm actually feeling better, believe it or not. It seemed Charlie was right about me needing to rest." The man smiled sweetly. "I guess that after all these years, I should stop arguing with my genius son about that kind of things."

"Are you taking any medication?"

After that question, Alan's face strangely turned into a worried expression. "Yeah…"

Of course, Colby was about to ask him if he needed anything or he had a headache, but before he could do it, Charlie entered the room.

"Vacuuming will be done soon. What else do you need?"

"The dishes…" Alan started to say.

"They're washed already," Colby explained.

"Wow, you guys work fast." Charlie's father muttered, looking impressed. "Then I guess that the only thing I'd want to do now is taking some cold pills."

It was obviously an unexpected thing to say, because Charlie immediately asked, "You went out, being sick?"

"No, no…"

"But there were no pills in the house. I was supposed to buy some today or tomorrow."

Alan went silent.

"Dad…"

"Amita's still in L.A."

Colby and Charlie looked at each other. None of them was expecting Alan to say that, it was completely out of the blue.

"We know," Alan's son explained.

"You do? Did you talk to her?"

"Yes, we ran into her at CalSci." Charlie still looked confused and he made a question that Colby didn't dare to make himself, because the answer might be scary. "But wait, how do you know she's in the city? Did you see her?"

Again, Alan didn't say anything for a while. When he seemed to have arranged his thoughts, he explained, "She came here this morning, very early. You had already gone to the university, and Don had just left, after coming home to do some cleaning."

"Why didn't you let me know of that?"

Analyzing Charlie's voice when he asked that, Colby was sure that he wasn't mad, but curious to find out why he hadn't been informed of such important news.

"You weren't answering your phone. But if you had, I wouldn't have said anything, anyway," Alan continued. "She asked me not to. She said that she was expecting to find you here so you two could talk, but I told her that you had left early. I didn't mention that it was because you wanted to spend some more time with Colby, of course."

Charlie blushed, and Colby did too. Any reference made by Alan about them being together still sounded awkward and odd.

"And then she asked me to not say anything about her return until she could talk to you. She wanted to let you know herself that she was ok with you two being together, that she just needed to get used to it."

That had to be a lie. Colby remembered well that after seeing Amita at CalSci, he had had the feeling that she had come back to mess up things, even if she assured everyone that she just trying to get back on track.

"Actually, we didn't have time to talk to her at the university. She was meeting the board, trying to get her old job back," Colby told Alan, trying to get some minutes for Charlie to think about what they had just discovered.

Alan seemed to be happy about Amita's attitude. "Well, I hope she gets better. Amita's a very sweet woman. For example, she went to buy those cold pills today."

"She offered herself to buy them for you?" Colby snapped, because it felt like Amita was trying to win Alan's heart and hoping that he pushed the two lovers to break up… But no, that was impossible. Alan was a good father, a caring person who would never do that.

Taking a deep breath, Colby ran his palm over his forehead. He had to relax a little. Jealously was making him seeing things that weren't really happening.

"It was a very nice gesture from her. She seemed like the Amita I knew, the one who still hadn't been attacked by that man, Patrick Garner," Alan said.

"Yes, it was a nice thing for her to do," Charlie agreed, but he suddenly left the room with a worried expression on his face.

Colby followed him with his eyes until he wasn't there anymore. Maybe his lover was getting the same feeling he had had when they had run into Amita earlier.

"I know that this is much unexpected, but I actually think it's for the best. It would have been worse if she had left the country without getting any help, or trying to deal with the changes," Charlie's father considered.

"Yes. But still, it's weird that she's acting so normal, like nothing had happened," Colby muttered, letting his thoughts come out. "Anyways…" He walked towards the door.

"Go, join him. Charlie probably needs you right now. Everyone needs time and support to adjust to the fact of seeing someone that they thought was already far away."

Silently, Colby nodded and left the bedroom. He had to support his lover and let him know that he would fight against anyone who'd try to make them break up, even if that person was Amita. That moment would never come. Colby wouldn't let it happen.

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_**A/N: FEEDBACK IS LOVE.**_


	3. A friend in need

**Title:** "A friend in need"  
**Series**: _Holding on to a lie_, part 3/?  
**Characters:** Colby/Charlie, David  
**Rating:** M  
**Spoilers:** None.  
**Summary:**When Colby gets to David's apartment, he finds a disturbing surprise.

**Feedback:** I love feedback. 

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Numb3rs or anything related to it, but I do own the original ideas and any OCs.  
**Beta:**_Thanks to my amazing beta._

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

Holding on to a lie

**Part 3: "A friend in need"  
**

"Why is she doing this?" Charlie muttered when Colby returned to the kitchen. "I don't understand."

"Don't ask me, I don't want to even think about it." It was a relief to Colby that his lover didn't seem to be pleased with the idea of Amita coming to his house when he wasn't there. "But let's face it, she's a friend of the family. Your father has become close to her, she was your girlfriend for more than two years, four if you count the flirting ones…"

"Colby…"

Colby suddenly found himself in Charlie's arms, embraced in one of the sweetest gestures the mathematician had shown him that day. He soaked in the lovely nearness of his figure against his, the soft caress of Charlie's hands over his back.

"I don't want you to feel like she still has some kind of power over me," Charlie said, kissing Colby's shoulder. "Because she doesn't. At least not the same way you do."

A pleasurable shiver ran down Colby's body. After five years of loneliness, receiving this kind of love was beautifully overwhelming. He took a deep breath and when Charlie looked at him, he held his gaze. "Yeah… I guess that could be true."

Charlie immediately responded, cupping his lover's face. "No, it _is_ true. Can you see how I feel? Can you really see it?"

"Yeah…"

"I'm not going anywhere, Colby."

Like it had done several times before, that kind of nice, confident tone of voice made Colby feel that everything was going to be OK. Slowly, he nodded and then he saw Charlie leaning over his shoulder to see if someone was watching them. "What?"

The next thing Charlie did gave Colby the answer to that. A soft, tender kiss on his lips let him know what his lover meant.

"I just wanted to give you a little proof that I'm all in."

It was impossible for Colby not to melt to the words that had just escaped from Charlie's mouth. He could only hug him back, trying to thank him for being so sure about what they had, even if they had Amita around again.

"Still, she's acting weird," Colby muttered when he and Charlie separated a little. "She's denying what happened. Going back to her old job is good, but it's not normal that it's happening so quickly."

Charlie nodded in agreement. "Yeah, that's what worries me. Do you think David might know something about why she's taking things so fast?"

"Yeah, probably. In fact, when we saw Amita today I had the idea of going to see him and ask him about that. I haven't seen him in the last couple of days."

"I think that would be good." Charlie smiled, and ran a hand over his lover's arm. "And then we could meet again."

"Um… sure." Colby smiled at the way Charlie basically pleaded him to get together again, to be together all the time.

"OK, then."

Soon, Charlie had already walked Colby to the door. When the agent got in his car, his lover leaned over the window and squeezed his shoulder lovingly. "I'll miss you."

Colby couldn't help smiling while he turned on the engine. Then he said goodbye to Charlie and focused on getting in touch with David. While he drove, no particular destination in mind, he dialed his number and waited for an answer.

"Sinclair."

"David…" Colby snapped, because his friend's voice sounded unexpectedly weird. "Are you OK, man?"

David hung up.

Colby jumped in his seat and immediately drove to David's apartment, trying to get there as soon as possible. If his partner had suddenly ended the call, it had to mean that something bad had happened to him.

When he got to David's apartment, Colby left his car and, running like a desperate man, approached the door. He rang the right bell several times, but no one answered.

He needed to get in. Using his badge and demanding people open the door for him looked like a good idea, but that wasn't necessary. A man who was carrying a little girl in his arms agreed to let him pass, probably because Colby looked so worried he thought something bad was going on inside.

Thanks to that man's help, Colby took the elevator and when he got out of it, he pointed his gun firmly at anything that moved. "Don't worry, it's under control," he assured an old lady who was opening up the door of her apartment and seemed to be in shock because of the presence of a federal agent.

Nothing happened on his way to David's door. But when he was there, in front of it, Colby swallowed. There was just too much silence.

"David?"

There was no answer, just like when he had rungthe bell.

After taking a deep breath, Colbymanaged to control the shiver that was running down his spine and kicked down the door.

Despite his worry, he still turned around and told the people who were looking at him to calm down. He also asked them to stay away from him, just in case something came up. Everybody started to leave, but they stopped at Colby's startled oath.

There was David, seated on the bed, looking completely lost. His clothes were a complete mess, all of them ripped and wrinkled. He had a bottle of vodka in his hand, and a dozen others spilled over the floor. Most of their content had been poured onto it, staining the beautiful carpet.

Thankfully, David had been drinking, but not that much; if he had, he would have been dead by now.

"Everything's OK. Just… go back to what you were doing, don't worry," Colby told the people outside before stepping into the apartment.

"What's going on?" he asked David, but his friend didn't even look at him.

Imagining that David would like to talk in private about the reasons he was doing this, Colby closed the door again and went towards him. "C'mon, man. Tell me."

David simply took another sip of his vodka.

"David."

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Colby got closer to his friend and put a hand on his shoulder, but when he did it, the other man jumped on the bed and got away from him.

"Don't. Just… don't," David muttered, lifting one hand. His eyes were red, as well as his cheeks. It looked like the alcohol had already hit his system, and hard.

"Give me that bottle." Moving fast, Colby tried to grab the vodka, but David didn't let him.

"Don't cha dare touch it."

They stared at each other, breathing heavily. Why was David acting like that? Why was he getting drunk, what reason could he have? Colby didn't take his eyes off of him while he stepped aside and gave his friend a little more space.

"I've never seen you like this. In fact, I've never seen you drunk!" he stated.

"So what? It seems that you don't know a lot of things about me," David responded.

"Wha—" Now, what the hell was that supposed to mean?

"You don't know everything, Colby. You just don't." Instantly, David started to giggle, a little bit of vodka escaping his mouth and sliding down his chin. He wiped his sleeve and became serious. A second later, he was laughing hysterically.

"What? What's so funny?" Colby asked. Maybe if he pushed a little, his friend would tell him what was going on with him.

"Me! I'm… a freakin' idiot!"

Colby stared at David, watching him fall of the bed, laughing like a maniac. "Ok, give me that bottle. I mean it, now, David."

"And I say for the second time… Nah."

This time, Colby really went for the bottle. Without hesitation, he used his entire body to get it. But of course, David wasn't going to give it to him willingly, so they started a fight.

It was messy because David was out of control due to the alcohol, but still, Colby was able to get him sprawled on the bed, laughing and kicking.

"Stop it," he demanded, but his friend wasn't cooperating, even when he had his arms and legs held by the other man's strong hands.

Smiling, David said, "Ha… You don't know… You don't know!" and he started to laugh all over again.

That had become annoying now; but Colby could feel that David wasn't trying to escape from him, so he decided to release him. He knelt beside the bed, watching him stare at the ceiling.

"David… This doesn't make any sense," he muttered, looking at the bottle of vodka he had taken from his partner.

"I'm OK…"

"Yeah, right. Look at this place, look at you." Everything was out of its place inside the apartment. Clothes, food, newspapers. "How long have you been here, like this?"

David didn't say a word; he just kept looking in another direction.

Colby took a deep breath, and he entwined his fingers together, finding the right words and a gentle tone to talk. "Look, you gotta talk to me, man. I'm here, maybe I can help you. I don't like seeing you like this."

"You can't help me… No one can…"

"I know that you think that, because I thought the same thing when I was dealing with the Charlie situation last week. Do you remember that? Do you remember when we were in the car, and you forced me to talk?" Colby whispered. "Well, I'm the one who's forcing you to get whatever problem you have out of your system, now."

It seemed that his speech had gotten into David's brain, because suddenly, his friend's eyes were on him, red and a little swollen. It was terribly painful for Colby to see him like that. He had never thought he'd find David so vulnerable and depressed.

But still, David was mumbling something. "Amita, she…" His voice broke, and he was visibly devastated when pronouncing those words.

"_Amita?"_ Colby repeated, astonished, anxious to know what she could have to do with David's state. "What did she do to you?"

"She…"

Unfortunately, David passed out before Colby could get his answer. The green-eyed agent took a deep breath, watching his partner sleep quietly. It would help him cleanse the vodka from his body and organize his thoughts a little; maybe it'd help him start to deal with whatever that was bothering him, so he could tell Colby about it, someday.

But still, Colby was very worried about his friend. He needed to know what was going on with him, needed to help him carry his pain; because after all, David had helped him to do that before, keeping their friendship no matter how much time Colby had been working for the Chinese.

So Colby sat on the floor, his back against the corner of the bed, David sleeping on it behind him. He ran his palms over his face, tired from all the stress he'd been through during the last fifteen minutes.

He glanced at his watch; twelve o' clock. Perhaps he could stay a little longer with David, keep him company, so when he woke up, he'd find a caring someone who wanted only the best for him.

After all, a friend in need was a friend indeed.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

_**A/N: FEEDBACK IS LOVE.**_


	4. Theories about the whys

Title: "A friend in need"

**Title:** "Theories about the whys"  
**Series**: _Holding on to a lie_, part 4/?  
**Characters:** Colby/Charlie, Larry, Alan, Amita, OMC  
**Rating:** M  
**Spoilers:** None.  
**Summary: **How many people are wondering why Amita has returned?

**Feedback:** I love feedback. 

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Numb3rs or anything related to it, but I do own the original ideas and any OCs.  
**Beta:**_Thanks to my amazing beta._

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

Holding on to a lie

**Part 4: "Theories about the whys"  
**

Once Colby had gone to talk to David, Charlie returned to his vacuuming task, trying to calm down. He was still nervous about the fact that Amita was around him again. The way she had talked to him, the way she had said, "I'm not trying, Charlie, I'm already back on track," was definitely disturbing.

Why was she so accelerated? And where did all that confidence come from, all of a sudden? She had been kidnapped and hurt by Patrick Garner, she'd been abandoned by Charlie, and now she was acting like nothing had happened.

Charlie had to admit that he was expecting her to be a little more affected by their separation. Now, her normal attitude towards him made him believe that he hadn't been that important to her. Maybe the years they had spent together had meant nothing. And actually, that wouldn't be a surprise, considering that they had shared few really intimate moments, and that their spark had been starting to vanish, before Colby.

It was also weird for Charlie to know that, even inside his head, Amita wasn't important to him either. He would always love her as a friend and as someone he had spent a nice time of his life with, but it had been relatively easy to stop romantically thinking about her and focus on Colby.

_Colby._ The feeling of knowing that he was getting jealous of Amita was really sad. She didn't have any opportunity with Charlie, but still, Colby had the right to be afraid. He and his lover were just starting a new relationship that didn't even have a name yet. Insecurity and awareness of how their new feelings were seemed to be taking over Colby's head. Charlie would have to fix that by showing him how much he cared about him, so he wouldn't feel like he was backing out.

Vacuuming was finally done after a while, and that time helped Charlie to clear his head. When he stepped into his father's room, he asked, "Dad, how are you feeling?"

Alan smiled, taking his eyes off of his book. "Better."

"Why are you so happy?" It was good but also unexpected that Alan was in such a good mood, especially since confessing that he had kept the secret about Amita being at the house earlier.

"Oh, it's nothing. It's just that Colby asked me the same thing a while ago. It's nice to know that people care about an old man like me."

"Well, you're very likable, Dad," Charlie muttered, and he sat on the bed beside him. Then he added seriously, "You know, it's ok that Amita's been here. It was going to happen, eventually."

"Really? It isn't awkward to you?" It seemed that Alan didn't believe him, that he thought that Charlie _had_ to feel weird because of Amita's talk with his father.

"Nah, she's a friend of the family and she'll probably work at CalSci again, so I'm going to see her, anyways. Don't' worry, I'll be fine."

"You've got Colby, now." Alan's smile grew wider.

Charlie smiled too, nodding slowly. "Yeah. I've got Colby."

"How's that going, by the way?"

"Good… I mean, it's all pretty new, but it's good." With those few words, Charlie tried to let his father know that he was ok.

"I'm glad."

In a gesture that meant "thank you," Charlie put a hand on Alan's shoulder and squeezed it gently. Then he got up and left the room. There might be something else he could do besides vacuuming; maybe he could try to find someone who could help fix the house.

He was about to call Ray-Ray and ask him if he had some idea about that, when he received a call. He smiled when he noticed who that person was. "Colby."

"Hey…"

"What's going on?" Charlie had to ask, because Colby sounded really worried.

"I went to see David. I'm at his apartment."

"Did he say anything about Amita?"

"He was about to do it, but he passed out. He's been drinking a lot of vodka. I've got like twelve bottles here."

"You've got to be kidding me," Charlie snapped. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

Colby immediately assured him that he was telling him the truth. "I know it's shocking. I couldn't believe it myself. But he's here, on the bed, beside me. I'm going to stay here for a while, see how he is when he wakes up."

"Yeah, I think that's the best thing to do. God… Why would he do that?"

"I don't know, but I want to find that out. So far, the only thing I know is that he seems to be like this _because_ of Amita."

"That doesn't make any sense." It was impossible that Amita had done something to David. They weren't even that close, so he shouldn't have been affected by anything she could have said.

"That's what I thought," Colby responded. "Ok, I'll let you know if something comes up. Bye, Charlie."

"Bye. Take care."

Charlie hung up and stared at his cell phone. He didn't understand what was going on. Amita was suddenly back, David was broken because of her. But there had to be an explanation, no matter what.

He decided to talk to Larry and see if there had been any news during the couple of hours he had been at home. However, it was impossible to call him because the physicist refused to get a cell phone, so Charlie would have to go back to CalSci; he had to give a class in the afternoon, anyways.

After asking his father if he would be ok until he got back, he grabbed his stuff and took a cab to the university. There, he found that his office's door had been locked by putting something heavy against it on the other side.

"Who's there?" he demanded to know while he tried to push the door open. "This is my office, I have the right to get in!"

No one responded to him.

"I'm going to call Security and tell them to open it up for me!" he threatened the person that was inside.

And then, a well-known voice came from the office. "Charles?"

Charlie frowned. "Larry?"

"Is there someone with you, outside?"

"Huh?" The mathematician looked around him. There were some students walking around, but no one seemed to want to enter the office with him. "No, I'm alone," he responded, not knowing why his friend had made him such question.

"Ok… Hold on a second."

There were loud noises, like Larry was messily dragging something inside. But soon, the office was open. His face appeared through the little space between the door and its frame, and he whispered, "Hurry up, Charles."

It looked like he was afraid of something. Curious and worried, Charlie stepped into the room and found his desk in a different place. When the door closed behind him, he looked at the physicist and said, "You used my desk to lock the door?"

Larry just landed his palms on each side of his face and nodded.

"Why?"

"I was trying to get at least ten feet away from the students masses. Your office seemed to be the best place to stay, since I don't really live anywhere."

Charlie nodded, trying to understand why Larry was acting so weird. "Ok… but for what reasons were they after you?"

"Amita."

"Amita," Charlie repeated. Her name was popping out everywhere, affecting everyone's lives. "What does she have to do with you using my office as some kind of protective shield?"

Slowly, Larry walked towards the desk and sat on it. He joined his hands and explained himself. "As you know, she had a meeting here today."

"Yeah."

"Well, she's still trying to convince the board that she's capable of working as well as she did before… by presenting psychological tests that prove her mental stability."

"And?"

"And… there was a significant amount of rumors circulating among the students."

That's when Charlie started to understand. "So as I wasn't here, they turned to you to get to know what was exactly happening."

"Yes. But unfortunately, I'm not good at communicating myself with fifty students at the same time, asking me over and over why she was back," Larry said, and he opened his arms in a dramatic gesture. "They basically dragged me out of the classroom when the class was over, harassed me with questions and cornered me near your office. There was only one chance for me to get a little peace of mind and try to think about a good answer, and it was getting in here and locking myself up."

To some extent, Charlie wanted to laugh at Larry's always awkward social behavior, but he didn't. "And where are those 'crazy' students now?"

"I don't know. I supposed they're trying to absorb some true data from the gossip that's been going around the hallways near the board's office."

Charlie immediately went towards the door. Maybe he could get some explanations from hearing the real gossip, too.

"Charles, what are you doing?"

"I want to see if any of them knows something about Amita's behavior."

"But… It's a little bit dangerous, believe me."

"I can handle it, don't worry," Charlie assured his friend, smiling. He opened the door and turned around. "Um, Larry… You can get out if you want. There's no one out here anymore, like I told you."

Larry lifted a hand and shook his head. "I would prefer to stay here a little longer, if you don't mind. Just until I feel the territory is clear and harmless again."

"Fine. I guess I'll be back soon." The mathematician left the room and heard how Larry put his desk against the door again. Shaking his head, he walked to the board's office, and at the door he found the fifty students that had 'harassed' Larry with their questions.

They all turned to him when they saw him, and they started bombing him with doubts about why Amita was going to give classes again so soon, and if she was going to ask them to write a paper to make up the classes she'd missed. All the students knew that she had been kidnapped and that she had left the Math Department so she could go to India; the news had spread quickly over the university after she'd gone missing a few months ago.

Now, Charlie could feel what Larry had described as 'being cornered near an office.' People were making a circle around him, everybody was talking at the same time, and he was starting to need some air. He just wanted to see what was going on inside the room, but it seemed that it was going to be impossible for him to do it.

Yet, he could get near the door and see through its little window. Inside the office, Amita was talking and being supported by a man dressed in black who seemed to be her therapist. It was very probable that Don had been the one to assign her one.

Then, Charlie saw her sign a few papers and shake her superiors' hand. Finally, she went towards the door and opened it.

All the students stopped paying attention to Charlie and focused on her. She acted like they weren't there, and when she saw her ex-boyfriend, she immediately approached him.

"Charlie. They gave me back my job, thanks to Bob's help," Amita explained, pointing at her therapist. "I'm so grateful that Don called me and said he was sending him here to talk on my behalf."

So it had been Don the one to provide Bob's services to her. She looked so happy that Charlie started to think that maybe it would be actually good for her to concentrate on her work. "Wow, I'm happy to hear that you got what you wanted," he muttered, being aware that everybody was in silence, listening to them.

"Well, it's not exactly like that. I still have a lot of work to do. I don't have all I want yet."

That phrase hanged in the air while she made her way through the students, followed by Bob. Everybody stared at her, still in silence. Not even Charlie, who was left nervous and preoccupied, dared to ask her about the meaning of her last words.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

_**A/N: FEEDBACK IS LOVE.**_


	5. Fair deal

Title: "Fair deal"

**Title:** "Fair deal"  
**Series**: _Holding on to a lie_, part 5/?  
**Characters:** Amita/OMC, Colby/Charlie, Larry  
**Rating:** M  
**Spoilers:** None.  
**Summary: **Amita makes a deal that will be helpful when she gets to perform her plans.

**Feedback:** I love feedback. 

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Numb3rs or anything related to it, but I do own the original ideas and any OCs.  
**Beta:**_Thanks to my amazing beta._

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

**Holding on to a lie**

**Part 5: "Fair deal"  
**

After telling Charlie that she'd work again at the university, Amita knew that it was time for her to fulfill a bargain. "Here we'll be able to talk without being interrupted, Bob," she said while she opened the door of an empty classroom and asked her therapist to follow her.

Once they were both inside, she locked the door, turned around and really looked at Bob for the first time since her interview with CalSci's board was over.

"And now…" she said.

She immediately went towards him and pressed her entire body to the fifty-year-old man's, letting him know that she was going to fulfill her part of the deal they had made before stepping into the board's office.

While she felt his hands starting to touch her eagerly, Amita could remember the conversation they had had in that same classroom some hours ago, before the meeting started.

"_Nice to meet you, Mr. Berenson," Amita had said when she'd met the man Don had sent to help her._

"_Oh, please… Call me 'Bob'," the therapist had said, smiling with the bright, hungry eyes of an old wolf._

"_Ok… Bob," she had repeated, smiling playfully. She had known her weird behavior would be noticed by the trained eye of an expert hired by the FBI. "Would you come with me for a moment? I know we have to talk about how I feel about my situation. There are some things that I'd prefer to tell you… alone."_

"_Of course, Miss Ramanujan."_

_They had gone into one of the empty classrooms. There, Amita had started to talk in a flirting way that she knew would drive the therapist crazy. "Bob… Bobby… Can I call you Bobby, too?"_

_Bob's face had been confident and it had held a somehow dirty expression. Amita had been sure that he was imagining her naked, and she had walked around the room, just to let him have a little bit more view of the figure he wanted to possess so badly._

"_I can be Bobby for you," the man had muttered, grinning._

_She had turned around. "Then, we could work a deal… Bobby."_

_Strangely, Bob had gone silent and nervous. It was like he had realized that Amita knew his game. Maybe he had been worried that she would accuse him of not fulfilling his duty well. "What kind of deal are we talking about?"_

_Of course, it had been Amita's turn to get closer to him and caress his arm, trying to tease him. "We're talking about a deal that could be good for both of us." She had looked at him, smiling, and placed a kiss on the corner of Bob's mouth. "A very good deal."_

_He had held his breath and let Amita push him against the corner of the classroom; the window was far away from them, and luckily, no one could see them. He had also let her roam her fingers over his chest, let them slip into the little spaces between the buttons of his shirt and touch his tanned skin._

"_I really want my old job back…but unfortunately, as you can see, I'm not exactly ok, I must confess…" She had kissed his neck; the hand that wasn't caressing his chest had started to go down his body. "But I guess that the fact that my balance's not right is good for you, to some extent…"_

"_Why would it be good for me?" Bob snapped, and the tone of his voice had revealed that he was interested in what Amita was saying._

"_Well, because I could do you some… favors… and you could make some others to me in exchange…"_

"_The FBI would know about it."_

"_Not if I'm willing and ready… for our little… arrangement," Amita immediately responded. "And besides, if I'd say anything, you could always claim that I'm crazy…"_

"_You are crazy. Offering yourself to an old man like me…"_

"_Not an old man. A big, strong, gorgeous man that I wouldn't mind spend one night with."_

_Bob had visibly swallowed, looking at Amita in the eye. She had waited for an answer, and he had finally given it to her. Her easily influenced therapist had given in by showing her a naughty grin. "Ok… What do you want? And what do I get in return?" _

_While he had run his thick fingers through her black hair, she had got even closer to him, and talked in whispers. "I want my job, no questions asked. And for that, you get… me. As much as you want, as long as you help me."_

_After that answer, Bob had thrown his head back and laughed. "Oh my goodness, you dirty little thing."_

"_Would that be my pet name?" Amita had teased. "Because I like it so much…" She had leaned, very slowly. "You see, if I'm a dirty little thing, then you're a very, very bad therapist who has a kink for corrupting his patients…" _

_She had given him a soft kiss on the lips and when he had tried to grab her head and deepen it, Amita had broken it. "We'll close our deal once that meeting's done."_

_Once again, Bob had laughed and arranged her hair. "You really know how to convince an old wolf like me."_

"_What can I say, Bobby? I have a thing for older men. Maybe it's their experience in the love field…"_

_After making the deal, they had gone out of the room and walked towards the university board's room, carrying papers and a big secret between them._

And now, the meeting had ended. It had been successful. Amita had got her job back, and she was also back in the game.

It was time to close the deal.

She pressed her body harder to his, letting him feel how warm and rounded she would feel under his hands.

And he was definitely eager. He was eager to touch her, to have her all for himself. Amita could tell by the way Bob caressed her heavily, with firm movements, trying to touch as much of her as he could before undressing her.

But when he started to tug at her clothes, trying to get them off, Amita made him stop. "We're at the University. It's where I work, remember? If someone needed this room for some reason, we wouldn't have the time to get dressed…" Nevertheless, she whined when Bob sucked the hollow of her neck, sending shivers through her body.

She was lost. Maybe she had started this encounter thinking that she'd have to pretend that she was interested in Bob, but the truth was that she was actually turned on by him. Anyone who'd tell her that she was beautiful and desirable was enough for her to give in.

And fortunately, maybe she wouldn't even have to take her clothes off to give Bob what she had promised to him.

VVVV

Ten minutes later, Amita and Bob were getting out of the classroom, sweaty and tired, trying to sound as natural as possible. She had been the one who had set the fire, so she was able to handle the situation well. On the other hand, Bob was a person who had been well trained in psychology and who could behave himself the right way; he could do it even if he had been having sexual relations with a patient that was a friend of an FBI agent.

In a few hours, Amita had discovered that Bob Berenson was a very unscrupulous, unethical professional who had obviously managed to hide his dark obsessions and fantasies from the Bureau itself. And that was exactly the kind of person she needed at the moment.

They shook hands gently; Amita held Bob's gaze when he held her hand a little longer than it was appropriate. Even if some students were still looking at her, probably remembering what she had said to Charlie after leaving the board's room, no one seemed to suspect anything.

Now there was one more thing Amita needed to do today. She walked towards Charlie's office, and she found it locked.

"Charlie?" she called him, using her most adorable, innocent voice. "Are you in there?"

The door was open after a few seconds. Charlie came out to welcome her. "Oh, hey, Amita. Did Bob leave already?"

"Yeah, he did," she responded, and she took a look at the terrible state of the office. "What happened here?"

"Ask Larry."

Larry, who was seated on the desk that had been put against the door a couple of minutes ago, lifted his hands. "All I did was to protect myself; I did nothing that could have hazardous implications for any of the instances, activities, places or people that are related to this institution."

"He was running away from the students that wanted to know about your return," Charlie clarified.

"Oh," Amita muttered, feeling a little overwhelmed. She could remember the crowd waiting for her outside the board's office; she had managed to hold herself together and look completely natural, even when there were other feelings trying to take over her stability and manifest into the real world. "But there's no one out there anymore, Larry. You can get out. Rumors will vanish, eventually."

"Yeah, yeah… Maybe it's time to let the peak of the iceberg of fear crush against the moving menace of a ship full of people… in this case, multiple corridors plenty of students that are hungry for the newest information," Larry expressed while he got up and walked towards the door. "Maybe the impact will break this tendency to locate my social skills in a circle that is regularly composed only by brilliant human beings."

Charlie frowned, smiling. "Um… ok, if you think that'd help you."

Larry said some last words before leaving. He turned around, holding the doorframe, and stated, "The brightest minds are the ones that are capable of giving up some of their incredible capacities in order to achieve the understanding of the masses." He nodded, and soon he was gone.

"Wow," Charlie muttered when Larry wasn't there anymore. He started to read some equations he had written on some papers. "A Titanic metaphor. That was a little disturbing."

"Yeah… But he's right. I mean, people are wondering why I came back…" With those words, Amita had gained Charlie's attention. He wasn't looking at his papers anymore, he was listening to her. "Charlie, I want you to know that I'm not staying because of you. At least not because I'm trying to get you back or anything like that."

The fake confession seemed to have taken Charlie by surprise. "Oh… I guess that's good. I mean, I would feel bad if you had stayed for me… you know, after what happened."

"You mean, after you left me for Colby."

Now Charlie went to close the door. It seemed that he wasn't trying to hide his secret from the rest of the world. "Um… I'm still so sorry, Amita…" he said when he turned around.

She shook her head, smiling. "No, it's ok. You can't control your feelings. I think I can't do that, either."

They looked at each other. Amita could feel the vibes, she knew that Charlie had taken his words as if she was saying that she still loved him and wanted him back. A clarification was needed. "I… I think I expressed myself the wrong way. Of course I still have feelings for you, but I get it that you're with someone else. I would never try to make you guys break up, believe me."

Charlie simply stared at her.

"I actually hope you're happy together," she assured him.

He nodded. Amita's smile grew wider, trying to make him understand that she was telling the truth. But she was actually thinking about how handy it was that Charlie couldn't read any kind of signs.

"I really do wish the best for you."

With that, Charlie seemed to have bought her act. Slowly, she went towards him and hugged him, just like she had done when she had made a scene at the FBI and broken up with him. Her ex-boyfriend responded to her touch, hugging her, too, and Amita found herself starting to get closer and closer to him, winning his trust.

"Charlie."

The person who had said that was Colby. He was at the door, looking at her and his man together, and he didn't seem to be happy about that.

Amita and Charlie immediately separated and started to act in an awkward matter.

"I'm sorry I went to see Alan this morning," Amita said. "I just wanted to talk to you, but you weren't home. I guess you had important things to do… people to be with…" She glanced at Colby, meaning that she had the feeling that he and Charlie had been together that day at the office.

She knew she could set up a fight and she wasn't going to lose that opportunity. So Amita said goodbye to Charlie and Colby and left the office. She couldn't help smiling while she went through the corridor, getting farther and farther from the upset voices that were raising in there.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

_**A/N: FEEDBACK IS LOVE.**_


	6. Hiding the problem

**Title:** "Hiding the problem"  
**Series**: _Holding on to a lie_, part 6/?  
**Characters:** Charlie/Colby, David, Amita.  
**Rating:** M  
**Spoilers:** None.  
**Summary:** Colby sees secrets everywhere, and feels that he can't help the ones he loves.

**Feedback:** I love feedback. 

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Numb3rs or anything related to it, but I do own the original ideas and any OCs.  
**Beta:**_Thanks to my amazing beta._

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

**Holding on to a lie**

**Part 6: "Hiding the problem"  
**

David finally woke up half an hour after passing out. He rubbed his eyes, looking still dizzy. While he rested on his elbows, Colby was watching him from one of the corners of the room.

When David saw him, it seemed that he had no words, or that he didn't remember what had happened. "I… I ah… Colby, what are you doing here?"

"Really? You don't remember?" his partner said, and when David shook his head, he took a deep breath. "Look… I call you and when I came here, I find you drunk and feeling like crap, man."

It seemed that Colby's friend had started to remember some of the events of the last hours, because he avoided the other man's eyes and tried to leave the bed. "Oh, yeah… I was… I was feeling a little lost. Nothing serious."

"David, there are like twelve bottles of vodka here. What if you had drank them all? You would have been dead by now!" Colby stated, walking towards him.

Immediately, David turned to him with sad, angry eyes. "I would have never done such stupid thing. I don't do suicide, man, and you know it."

That was very true. Agent Sinclair could have his moments, but he had always been a sensible man. "Ok," Colby responded effortless. He watched how David took a look at his dirty clothes and at the state of his apartment in amusement, like he couldn't believe what he had done there. "Are you going to talk about it?"

"About what?"

"About what made you do it."

David turned to his friend and muttered, "Hey, man, I can take care of it myself."

"It doesn't seem like it." Colby pointed out while nodding in the direction of the state of David's apartment.

"I'll be ok, anyways." He immediately went towards his little kitchen; he stumbled on his way in, and had to lean on the counter to gain some stability.

"You're not ok," Colby's voice warned him. His owner was standing at the kitchen's door, arms crossed, and lips tight. He just wasn't going to let David take his problem to a whole other level and get drunk until one day it was too late to save him.

Maybe Colby was overreacting, but there was just something about David's expression, about the way he talked and walked, that reminded him of someone being exposed to high levels of physical and psychological torture.

Someone just like Amita.

And because of that, even if Colby didn't have a clue about what she had to do with David, he promised himself that he would find that out.

"You're not ok," he repeated when David didn't answer and turned his back at him.

"Stop it, man. This is not going to go anywhere. I'm not talking about it with you," his partner stated, irritated. But then he turned to the other man and seemed to calm down a bit. "Not with you, not with anyone. It's nothing personal. I'm sorry." He ran his palm roughly over his face.

"David… I'm your friend, you know. There's nothi—"

"I've made my decision," David muttered, looking at the floor. By the way he was taking a firm grip on the counter and the way his back was firmly pressed against it, Colby could tell that he was about to faint again.

He was about to point that out when David added, "Now, please, leave."

"But…"

"You want me to deal with this problem then leave me alone. I really need to think; I can't even hear my own thoughts."

It was funny that David was saying that, considering that his apartment was in the middle of L.A. and as a result, the noises of the city filled every corner of every room all the time. But then again, he had drunk enough vodka to tell the craziest things, so it wasn't really that weird.

"Please," David repeated, "I'm a grown man, this is nothing."

Colby took a deep breath. That was true; David was an adult, and he had the right to ask for some time to be alone and think about what was bothering him. Maybe if he got the chance to do it, he'd fix his problem.

"Ok, I'll go." The green eyed-agent nodded and walked towards the door. "If by any chance you need someone to talk to, will you give me a call?"

"Sure."

The image of David against the counter, vodka spilled over the carpet and some of the furniture, was pretty disturbing. And the fact that it was dark, that just one window was barely open, the sun light almost touching the man's feet, only contributed to make the scene look worse.

But still, Colby left the apartment. David had promised to call him if he needed some help, and that was what mattered. Although in the bottom of his heart, Colby got the feeling that his partner was going to try to avoid that at all cost.

What Colby needed right now was a little cheering up. His conversation with David had left him exhausted, and also eager to spend some nice quality time with his lover. Even if it consisted of watching Charlie fill the blackboards with numbers and algorithms he couldn't understand.

It was the thrilling moment of seeing the mathematician slowly build up this huge equation, watching him erase his previous calculations over and over again, observing him grab one piece of chalk after another, and finally admiring him when he got to a solution that pleased him.

And it was especially beautiful to analyze Charlie's face, all excited when a new response came up from his problem. He always looked so warm and accessible; the lines of his expression curving in a natural smirk that only accentuated his charm.

Colby smiled when think about that, while he walked through CalSci's corridors, hoping to be welcome with one of Charlie's sweet, jubilant smiles.

But when he got to the right office, he found everything but that. There it was his lover, leaning towards Amita, consciously hugging her.

And that wasn't some kind of joke. They had been talking, probably starting to get along again…

That couldn't be good. There was something about her that wasn't quite right…

"Charlie," the agent muttered.

When Charlie noticed that Colby was at the door, he stopped hugging Amita and stepped aside. She looked very calm and confident, even if her voice was maybe a little too soft for a moment like this.

"I'm sorry I went to see Alan this morning," Amita stated with her shaking voice. "I just wanted to talk to you, but you weren't home. I guess you had important things to do… people to be with…" Then she nodded at Colby at left the office.

"What was that?" he asked, Charlie, trying to clear his head and think the right way. It was hard for him to erase the jealously from his heart.

As a response, Charlie closed the curtains and the door. Then he turned around. "She got her job back and she came to tell me that she's not mad that we're together."

"Oh, really?" Colby really didn't think she was telling the true. He just didn't buy Amita's story.

"Yeah. She actually said that she wishes the best for us." The mathematician went towards his desk and grabbed a bunch of papers. "It seems that getting 'back on track' is working well for her. Maybe soon she can get over the kidnapping and everything that's happened to her." He slowly kissed Colby on the lips. "And then, we won't have to worry about hurting anyone anymore because of what we feel." However, as his lover obviously wasn't responding as eagerly as usual to the kiss, he asked, "What's wrong?"

Colby shook his head, trying to summarize his feelings in a few words. "I don't know. She's acting weird, David's acting weird…"

Charlie seemed to remember that his lover had gone to see his partner. "So I guess that didn't turn out well…"

"No, it didn't. He didn't tell me anything about what's going on with him or what reasons he had to behave that way."

"Oh…"

"And he looked like crap. He couldn't even stand in his own two feet, and yet he kept saying that he didn't need anyone's help," Colby muttered, nervously running his hands through his hair.

"He'll be all right. He's a strong man," his lover assured him.

"No, he's not all right!" Colby yelled at him, but then he tried to calm down. "I just… don't know what to do…"

His lover didn't yell back at him, instead Charlie spoke with kindness and love. "He knows he's got you to count on. Just like I know I can count on you, no matter what Amita says or does."

Charlie's words hit Colby's brain almost immediately. As a response, he kissed the other man deeply. "Thank you," he whispered when he noticed that Charlie was slowly blushing. "Still, I think she's hiding something from us…"

"What do you think that is?"

"I have no idea, but she has to be angry. She's been in several dangerous situations, under a lot of stress. She must feel bad, even if she tries to avoid showing it to people. I'm one hundred percent sure of that, and I don't even know what happened over the weekend between her and David."

It seemed that Colby had sounded too worried, because Charlie kissed him on the cheek and muttered, "Hey, we'll find it out eventually. Considering how strong your friendship with David is, and all you guys have been through, there's a high mathematical probability that he'll end up telling you."

Again, Colby took a deep breath. Maybe he shouldn't need such support and reassurance so many times, but life had changed so much for him during the last few months that he held on to the little things that helped him to keep his balance. "I hope he'll let me help him," he said, and he could feel Charlie's hands caressing his arms. "Don't worry, I'll be ok."

"I know you will."

Then Charlie went to write on the blackboard, just like he had done it that morning. After a few seconds, Colby was already seated on the mathematician's desk. And there was something he just couldn't help but notice. "Um, Charlie?"

"Yeah?" His lover continued writing his equations, but seemed to be listening to him.

"Why's your desk by the door?"

Charlie immediately stopped working on his numbers and turned to Colby. "Larry."

"Why did he put it here?"

"Don't ask."

For the first time in the last couple of hours, Colby allowed himself to smile. "Ok." Feeling that there was still hope for his friends and his relationship with Charlie to get better, he watched his lover flip tons of papers and read several books.

And when Charlie's face showed him that expression of glory for having solved a new problem, he felt the happiness in his heart and deep within his soul. He knew that he could die right there and then, just because of that heavenly feeling.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

_**A/N: FEEDBACK IS LOVE.**_


	7. What patience means

**Title:** "What patience means"  
**Series**: _Holding on to a lie_, part 7/?  
**Characters:** Charlie/Colby, Alan, Amita.  
**Rating:** M  
**Spoilers:** None.  
**Summary:** Charlie and Colby's dinner is interrupted by someone who needs some help.

**Feedback:** I love feedback. 

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Numb3rs or anything related to it, but I do own the original ideas and any OCs.  
**Beta:**_Thanks to my amazing beta._

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

**Holding on to a lie**

**Part 7: "What patience means"  
**

It had been two weeks since Amita had started to work again at CalSci, and she had been acting more and more normal as time passed by. Now, Colby seemed to have started to feel better about her; at least he didn't complain when she came to Charlie's office and asked for results on different mathematical issues.

After all, she and Charlie worked in the same department and had to share their projects. Colby had to understand that maybe he was wrong, that maybe Amita was doing her best to recover the part of her life that had been damaged by Patrick Garner and her unsuccessful love life.

Of course, Charlie had a lot to do with the fact that Colby had calmed down. If there was something that the agent needed, it was understanding and lots of intimate moments, and his lover knew that. Even if they were taking things slow, that didn't mean that they didn't have fun together. In fact, just spending quality time at Charlie's office or at the FBI headquarters, was more than enough for them.

All they did was talk and send each other meaningful looks. They really wanted to get to know themselves more, besides getting to know each other. Exploring their own feelings and the way they could interact seemed to be as thrilling as their previous sexual encounters. When the right moment came, they would really start to share more intimate moments in bed, even more than what they had done until now.

While the sun made its way through the sky, its light starting to vanish as the last hours of Friday arrived, Colby and Charlie walked by the corridors of the university. Students were around them, talking about their essays, their mid-terms and their plans for the weekend; both men had plans for the next two days as well.

"So, we're going to have dinner at your house, today, and then what?" Colby muttered, obviously trying to sound casual, like they were only good friends. "Could we go to see a movie, or something?"

Charlie smiled, making huge efforts to hide how much he loved to hear that kind of proposals from his lover. "I don't know, it depends on how many questions my Dad asks you this time."

"Oh, I thought we were passed that, as it's been more than two weeks since…" Colby immediately shut up, he had seemed to realize that he was about to talk about their secret while they were surrounded by people. "Since I started with my last case," he corrected himself, just in time.

"Yeah, that case… I remember it," the mathematician muttered, smiling, while they got to a corner that was very secluded compared to the rest they had seen. "We'll see if we can go watch that movie… if my father let us, like I just told you."

"Well… as long as he lets me wash the dishes for once…"

It was fantastically funny for Charlie to watch his father try to take care of everything, and insisting to Colby that he should stay at the table and don't worry about cleaning up after they ate. Usually, the agent stood in his seat and awkwardly touched his ear while waiting for his lover and Alan to come back. What he didn't know was that Charlie sometimes took a peak on what he was doing while they weren't there; Colby's gestures were adorable and made him melt every single time.

Charlie laughed loudly at the thought of that, and when he noticed that people were watching him, he covered his mouth without hesitation.

"You were thinking about how much of an idiot I look like when I'm waiting for you and Alan at the table, weren't you?" Colby asked, a smirk on his face.

"How did you know that?" It was amusing that Colby knew about that, just when the opposite seemed to be totally out of the question. "I though you had no idea I…?"

"I saw you one time on the reflection of my spoon. Since then, I could always feel yours eyes on my back."

Colby leaned on a column of lockers, smiling, his hands on his pockets. Charlie took his time to observe his lovely posture; there was something about the way his lover stood that seemed to leave a print of the kind of soul he was.

_And so, I'm turning into Larry. Too much metaphysics here. _Slowly, the mathematician let himself put a hand on his lover's arm, and he muttered, "I've had my eyes on your back for months, now. It's not like it's a surprise."

Now it was Colby's turn to laugh and blush, most probably because he felt flattered by what Charlie had said. "I guess it's not."

"Shall we go home?"

"Sure… I'll stand up before your dad does, so he doesn't get the chance to make me stay on my seat while you two are working hard in the kitchen," Colby muttered, making Charlie laugh one more time.

Once they had made it to the Eppes residence, Charlie opened the front door and thought how good it was that Ray-Ray had helped him and his family to rebuild part of the house that had been damaged by Amita's kidnapper. Slowly, its structure was getting stronger, and it looked more and more like the place it had once been.

Inside, there it was Charlie's father, who seemed to have just arrived from the grocery store. "Oh, hey, guys. How are you, Colby?"

"Good, I'm good," the agent responded, putting his hands into his pockets again, like he was still nervous when Alan was present.

"C'mon in, sit down. Please," Charlie's father continued.

Colby looked at his lover, and the mathematician understood the silent message. _Dad's already decreasing the work load for him. At his rhythm, Colby'll never get to do the dishes. _He giggled and turned to Alan. "Dad, Colby knows he can sit down whenever he wants to. He knows that this is his house, too, isn't that right?"

"Of course, of course. We have our doors open for you, Colby," Alan said, smiling. While Colby and Charlie shared one funny look, he started to analyze the nutritional information of the food supplies he had just bought. "I can't find my glasses, and I need them right now. I can barely read this, the letters are so small."

"Oh, I'll help you." Charlie went towards his father and took the pack of tea he had in his hands. "What do you want to know?"

"Does that infusion have a good amount of vitamin C?"

"I guess that means your cold hasn't got better yet," Colby muttered with a shy tone of voice.

Sadly, Alan shook his head. "No, it seems that my body's rejecting the possibility of healing itself, even if I'm still taking those pills." He rubbed his forehead, sweating a little bit. "I've been feeling and acting like a ghost for the last week. I sneeze all the time, I can't remember where I left my things, for example, my glasses. I've been looking for them all day, and I can't find them anywhere," Charlie's father complained. "Eventually, I stopped trying and I had to rest for a while. I was so much tired than usual."

"Then why did you go to the grocery store?" his son wanted to know. Now Charlie put his hands on his hips, like he was waiting for his father to give him a good excuse for exposing himself to multiple sources that could make his illness get worse. "Do you know that there are more than two hundred viruses that could cause you to get worse?"

"Charlie."

"Do I have to talk about probabilities, again?" Charlie dared his father, because he knew that Alan felt overwhelmed every time he mentioned the odds of getting a much severe cold when he went outside.

But it seemed that Alan had already thought about an answer. "I knew you were going to say something like that, Charlie. However, on my defense, I can say that after I rested for a while, I felt like going out for a couple of minutes, with the purpose of making you and your guest a nice, warm dinner. Is that so bad?"

So there it was - Alan's sweetness, always capable of making whatever doubt of worry Charlie had vanish. Maybe he had a cold, but he was still a caring father who was willing to sacrifice his health in order to make his sons happy.

"No, it's not bad. It's nice, actually," Charlie had to admit, smiling. However, he was worried about his father. "Thank you very much, Dad… but I really think you should rest…"

"Oh, I don't need it that much. I'm not _that_ old, you know."

Amused, Charlie watched Alan take his supplies to the kitchen. "Maybe I should help him with that."

"Can I help, too?" Colby asked, like he wanted to start contributing with the cleaning right now, before the actual dinner came.

But still, the mathematician laughed and shook his head. "He's a little sensitive about the resting and the 'old man' thing. I wouldn't recommend it." Colby laughed and ended up nodding. "Maybe you could sit down, try to relax… save your energy for the dishwashing…"

"Ok..."

When Colby seated on the couch, Charlie started to go towards the kitchen. But unexpectedly, someone called at the door.

"Dad, were you expecting someone for dinner, besides us?" he asked, because if someone else was there, and that person didn't know about him and his lover, then they would have to pretend again.

Alan returned from the kitchen, rubbing his hands on a dish cloth. "No, we were supposed to be alone."

"Maybe it's Don."

After taking a deep breath, Charlie went towards the door, determine to avoid spending his evening hiding his relationship with Colby. He knew that his lover wouldn't be very happy if he did.

And when he opened the door, the person he least expected was there.

"Amita… what a… surprise," he muttered, shocked by her sudden appearance.

"Hi, Charlie… I was wondering if you could help with a couple of algorithms that are giving me trouble. They're the ones I've working on for the two weeks, you know. The ones you were so interested in," Amita said, smiling sweetly. "I really need to get this done tonight, and I'd love it if you could guide me a little."

"Um… sure, sure. Come in, please." Charlie knew that this was going to upset Colby a lot, but he also couldn't deprive Amita from the possibility of getting better.

When his lover turned around, probably trying to control himself, the mathematician heard Amita say, "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know you had company. I can come back another time…"

"No, that's ok. We were just going to have dinner…"

"Yeah, but I'm interrupting you, guys… I don't really think I should stay…"

Charlie insisted that she stay anyways. "Hey, I said it's ok. You said you needed to get the algorithms now." He pointed at the table. "We can work on them for a while. I don't have a problem with helping you to solve those. Why don't you take a seat?"

Even if Amita hesitated, she ended up seating at the table and pulling out printed papers, books and her laptop from her bag.

The three men observed her, and then they formed a circle so they could speak without her hearing them.

"Charlie, are you sure?" Alan wanted to know. It seemed that he still wasn't convinced that his son was ok with Amita being in the house, even if she had been there for the last time a couple of weeks ago.

Charlie nodded. "Yeah. I invited her to come in," he answered, and when his father went to talk to Amita, he and Colby were left alone in a corner of the living room.

Now, the mathematician could hear his lover breathing hard. "I couldn't leave her with those algorithms if she needs them to be solved today. CalSci's board's keeping an eye on her work, following her every step, just in case."

"But does she really need to stay? We were supposed to have dinner, maybe go to the cinema…" Colby said, and he looked a little angry.

"Listen to me, her calculations didn't seem to be that hard to solve, even if they were giving us a hard time. I don't think it'll take us more than an hour. Then she'll be gone."

It didn't seem to be a very good promise, but Charlie was sure that things would turn out to be that way. _This is what patience means._ _She's been in pain because of us, the least I can do is help her keep her job. One hour and we'll have dinner with my Dad, the three of us alone. Please, Colby. _

And Colby understood the situation, even if Amita's arrival wasn't in their plans. He nodded, took a deep breath and muttered, "Ok. I think I can handle it, don't worry."

Charlie immediately put a hand on his lover's arm, caressing it softly, and they both went towards the table.

Amita smiled when she saw them approaching her. Then she started to talk about equations in terms that only her ex-boyfriend could understand, and soon Charlie was obsessed with the exciting quest of a good answer for a very challenging algorithm.

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_**A/N: FEEDBACK IS LOVE.**_


	8. A strange illness

**Title:** "A strange illness"  
**Series**: _Holding on to a lie_, part 8/?  
**Characters:** Colby/Charlie, Alan, Amita, Don.  
**Rating:** M  
**Spoilers:** None.  
**Summary:** Charlie becomes obsessed with the numbers, and that upsets Colby.

**Feedback:** I love feedback. 

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Numb3rs or anything related to it, but I do own the original ideas and any OCs.  
**Beta:**_Thanks to my amazing beta._

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

**Holding on to a lie**

**Part 8: "A strange illness"  
**

When it was eleven o'clock and Amita and Charlie were still at the table discussing their equations, Colby was absolutely sure that she wouldn't leave tonight.

He had been forced to have dinner and take a seat beside her. Even if she hadn't place herself between him and Charlie, she had to be making some kind of move. _No one gets this better, so focused in work, so soon._

The worst part was that Charlie wasn't paying any attention to him. It was ok that numbers absorbed his ability to see what was going on around him, but it wasn't ok at all that he had seemed to have forgotten his lover while talking to his ex-girlfriend.

And the worst part that even Alan seemed to have noticed that. Now, he and Colby were seated on the couch, having a drink. They were looking at Charlie and Amita talking and laughing at the table, when Alan said, "This means nothing, Colby, really."

"He seems to be having fun." He was sad and a little annoyed. He hated not being able to bring such interesting issues for Charlie to concentrate on, he hated not being a brilliant scientific mind. "Maybe that's what will make us break up, eventually," he mumbled while running his fingers over his cold beer.

"What do you mean?" Alan asked.

"What?" _Please, don't tell me I said that out loud. _He shook his head and looked at his beer, but soon he found himself staring at his lover and Amita one more time.

"You know," Alan continued after a minute, "love is what ultimately keeps two people together, no matter their social class, their economic status or their religion… or even their different skills and interests."

Looking at Charlie's father's warm eyes, Colby could tell what he meant. _Charlie's good at math and I'm good at physical challenges. Maybe we're different when it comes to that, but I'm not thinking for a moment of giving up on him. Perhaps we complement each other that way. _"Thank you, Mr. Eppes," he whispered, smiling.

Alan nodded and took a breath. He was such a wonderful father, as well as Charlie was such a good son. To some extent, Colby had started to consider that man somehow a father. Not that he'd ever replace his passed away dad, of course; but on earth, Alan was the closest person to a father figure Colby had.

And Alan had let him do the dishes. It was obvious that he had given Colby something to do trying to make him relax while Charlie spent some time with Amita in front of him, but still, the gesture was very much appreciated.

"Ok," Alan suddenly muttered, and he got up.

"Ok, what? Do you need me to do something?"

"No, no. Just… stay here, Colby."

Colby stared at the next scene in amusement. There was Alan approaching his son at the table, putting a hand on his shoulder and saying with a serious tone of voice, "Charlie, can I talk to you for a moment?"

The mathematician's face turned into a surprised expression. "What? Oh, sure, Dad…"

Now Charlie visibly swallowed and turned to Amita. "Would you excuse me for a minute?"

"Sure," she answered while entering more information into her database at her laptop, like she didn't mind that Charlie wasn't there.

But Colby got the feeling that she was lying. _You came here and interrupted our dinner. Don't try to pretend you don't want Charlie to ignore me and stay with you all night._ He decided not to focus on her anymore, and he watched Charlie and Alan instead. They were going towards one of the corners of the living room.

Strangely, the agent was very grateful that the Army had made him learn how to read people's lips. From his place, he could see the two men's mouths move, and he could know exactly what they were saying.

"Charlie, do you see what you're doing?" Alan muttered, looking upset.

"What am I doing, Dad? And who am I doing it to?"

"Colby. You're ignoring him."

The answer seemed to get to Charlie's brain very fast, because he looked at his lover, who was still seated on the couch. Of course, Colby drank his beer and looked somewhere else so Charlie wouldn't know he was catching his talk with his father. It didn't seem to be appropriate in a normal situation. _But this isn't normal. At all. I'm sitting here, don't you see?_

Now Charlie took a look at his watch and his eyes went wide open in astonishment. "Oh, god, it's eleven o'clock. We've been working on the equations for like three hours."

"Why do you think I dragged you over here, son?"

Alan's worried face obviously made Charlie start to get uncomfortable about the conversation. "Why didn't you tell me this earlier?"

"Because I thought you were smart enough to notice it yourself," his father replied. "Charlie, Colby's been sitting there all night, waiting for you to give him some proper attention."

"Yeah…"

"Amita's important to you, I get that. She's important to me, too. But there're other people in your life, you know; and if you want this new relationship to work (and I'm sure that's the case), you need to start rearranging your priorities."

It was evident that the mathematician was a little annoyed by having his father giving him a speech, because Charlie put his hands on his face and said, "Dad, I already know that. What I need to do is fix this!"

His voice had raised enough for his lover and Amita to clearly hear what he was saying. She looked at Colby with what seemed to be an ashamed expression, and then she started to pick up her stuff and putting them into her bag.

"I'm going home, Charlie, I'm sorry that this took so much time from you. It really wasn't my intention to stay this long, I can finish this by myself," she stated while she closed the books she and her ex-boyfriend had been using.

It seemed that Charlie was debating himself between helping her some more and have his dinner with Colby, even if it was almost midnight. "Amita…" he muttered in confusion while he watched her grab her belongings.

Charlie looked so worried about her that Colby started to think that maybe he should let him help her and go home. _This isn't what I wanted, but if you're happy discussing numbers with her, that's ok. I'll give you some space if that's what you need, and I'll do it for you more than for her. She won't be able to make us break up._ Luckily, Alan's words were still fresh inside his head.

"You know, maybe I'm the one who should go home, since it's late," he suggested, getting up from the sofa.

"Colby…" Charlie muttered, looking at his lover, then and Amita, and finally fixing his eyes on Colby again. "Colby, we can work this out."

"Hey, don't worry about it," Colby said, and he went to grab his jacket. "We'll talk tomorrow…" Suddenly, something caught his attention. "Mr. Eppes, are you ok?"

Everybody turned to Alan, who was leaning his back on the wall, like he was using it for support. Charlie, Colby and Amita were soon around him, holding his arms, because he was definitely losing his energy and about to faint.

"Dad, are you all right?" the mathematician desperately asked.

"I'm… I'm fine… I just felt so tired all of a sudden… just like I did a few hours ago, before going to the grocery store…"

"You should rest," Amita muttered, and she seemed to be very worried.

"Yeah, you should," Colby agreed, and he was the one to help Alan to get upstairs, into his bedroom and into his bed again. "There you go, Mr. Eppes."

"Ah… I don't understand…" Alan said while Amita and Charlie put the sheets and a huge blanket over his body. "I've taking my medication… I should be fine by now, but I'm so terribly exhausted…"

"I'll bring the pills, where are they?" she suggested.

"Oh… Now that I remember, I left them at the garage… I was cleaning up, and…" Now talking seemed to be hard for Alan. It was like he was losing his breath.

"Dad, don't try to talk, ok? Just rest, we'll take care of everything," Charlie told him, and then he turned to Amita. "Hurry up, please."

She disappeared and headed towards the garage; Colby and Charlie observed Alan for a couple of minutes, trying to figure out what was going on with him. Or at least that's what the agent was doing, because suddenly the mathematician left the room.

Surprised by that, Colby followed him and found him right outside, covering his face with his palms. "Charlie…" _Let me help you. Please, let me help you._

"I treated him bad. I knew he was just trying to help me, you know. I knew he was trying to tell me that I'm a crappy boyfriend… or whatever I am to you, right now."

"Hey, tha—"

"I didn't realize I had spent like three hours with Amita, don't you see? I should have noticed that! What does that say about me, what does that say about what I feel for you?" The mathematician crossed his arms and looked at the floor.

"It's ok, don't worry about it," Colby muttered while he caressed his lover's arm. _That doesn't matter anymore, what matters right now is Alan's health and that you're not happy. _"Numbers always do that to you, it's nothing personal. It's just you being you; actually, it's one of the things I like the most about who you are."

That definitely left Charlie speechless. His eyes were focused on Colby, his expression was sad and thankful, and it took him a few seconds to give the other man an answer. "Thank you," were the only words his mouth said. "But nothing you say can change the fact that I was ignoring you."

"I said it's ok…"

"No, it's not. You don't deserve that, and I hate it that I…" Charlie muttered, and he ran his palms over his face again. "And as if that wasn't enough, I made my father get mad at me. Now he's in bed and I don't know what to do…"

"Well, let me help you. Tell me what I can do for you, for Alan." Now Colby put both hands on Charlie's shoulders and kissed his forehead. He could hear his lover take deep breaths, trying to calm down.

"We should call his doctor. And we should call Don, too."

"Yeah. Do you want me to tell your brother to come?"

Charlie simply nodded.

"Ok. Go with your father, I'll call Don."

Slowly, the mathematician got into the room with a sad look on his face. After seeing him disappear through the door, Colby took out his cell phone and told Don the news.

"What? Dad almost fainted? Is he ok?" Charlie's brother snapped as soon as he heard them. "I'll be there ASAP."

And when the phone call ended, there it was Amita walking towards Colby, the little bottle of pills in one of her hands, a glass of water in the other. Soon, Alan was taking his medication. The agent watched him do it while Amita and Charlie encouraged him to rest for as much as he needed. "The pills will be good for you, Mr. Eppes," she repeated over and over. "I bought them in a naturist shop, my mother told me about how effective they are. It might take them some time to work, but they will make you feel better, eventually."

She decided to stay, and when Alan fell asleep, she offered herself to make some tea. Being left alone, Colby and Charlie stared at the mathematician's father again.

"He's breathing well," the agent muttered.

"Yeah… I hope he's ok soon."

"He will be. Did you call his doctor?"

"I did it when you were calling Don."

Speaking of the devil, Don entered the room in that very moment. "How is he?" he asked, and he knelt beside the bed. "He's sleeping. Is that good?"

"He was very tired. He could barely stand up," Colby let him know.

"I see," Don said. He got up and put both hands on his hips. "That damn cold… It should have been gone by now!"

Looking at the bottle of pills, Colby had an idea. "You know, maybe we should make these get tested, just in case there's some prohibited substance in them."

"Yeah, yeah. That would be a great idea, Colby. Why don't you take care of that? I'd like to stay here a little longer."

"Don't worry, I got it." Colby's statement sounded serious, just like it should be. He took the bottle of pills and said. "I'll take them to the lab right now."

Right after he had gone out of the room, he felt Charlie's hands embracing him. It was a pleasure to have his back pressed against the mathematician's warm torso. Instinctively, Colby held the hands that were roaming his chest and waited for his lover's voice to rise.

"Thank you. I mean it," Charlie whispered.

"You don't have to thank me," the agent said, and he turned around to face the other man. He never let his hands go. "I do it because I want to… because I care about you."

He didn't complain when Charlie reached for him and kissed him deeply. "Well, thank you, anyways."

Smiling, they separated and Colby watched his lover get into Alan's room one more time. Then he walked down the stairs, passed by Amita, who was going up.

He stopped for a moment to watch her confident walk; everything she did seemed to hide a dangerous meaning, but he didn't know exactly what it was. _Someday, I'll find out what's going on with you. And when that happens, I'll know what you did to David, too._

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

_**A/N: FEEDBACK IS LOVE.**_


	9. Supporting the family

**Title:** "Supporting the family"  
**Series**: _Holding on to a lie_, part 9/?  
**Characters:** Charlie/Colby, Don, Amita, Alan.  
**Rating:** M  
**Spoilers:** None.  
**Summary:** Charlie mistrusts Amita while his family is having a bad time.

**Feedback:** I love feedback. 

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Numb3rs or anything related to it, but I do own the original aspects and any OCs.  
**Beta:**_Thanks to my amazing beta._

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

**Holding on to a lie**

**Part 9: "Supporting the family"  
**

Charlie and Don spent the entire night taking care of their father. Alan's doctor came and checked him, but he didn't find any reason that could cause the patient's cold to get worse; he couldn't say anything about the pills because, apparently, they were made of legal substances.

Even if there were no explanations yet, Alan didn't have any more problems for the rest of the night, but he didn't seem to get better, either.

At three in the morning, Amita was in the kitchen making coffee for Don and Charlie, while the Eppes brothers talked at the table.

"How didn't I see this coming?" Don asked, with his arms crossed on the table.

Charlie ran his palms through his hair. "I don't know. I guess… work drained all our attention…"

"Yeah, that could be it. But still, this is so weird. I mean, I knew about his cold and everything, but fainting? That's unexpected."

"Mmm. Maybe he got too worried because of his thirty-year-old son, who doesn't know how to handle a relationship," Charlie muttered. He didn't want to look at Don. He felt ashamed of how he had acted that night.

But Don didn't seem to want to judge him. He reached for his brother's arm and patted him across the table. "Hey, buddy, don't look for excuses there. If that was true, he would have fainted hundreds of times before because of his still-non-married, forty-year-old son."

Even if Don smiled sadly at his own joke, Charlie didn't think it was funny. "We had just had an argument…"

"Charlie, don't blame yourself anymore," Amita said as she came in from the kitchen, carrying a tray with three cups full of steaming coffee. "I'm telling you, those pills are going to work. My Mum's a very wise woman."

"We're sure of it," Charlie muttered, while sipping his coffee. Now Amita had joined him and his brother at the table.

"Oh, I forgot about the sugar, excuse me," Amita said, and she left the room again.

Once she was in the kitchen, Don asked, "Hey, Charlie, isn't it weird for you to have her around like this all the time?"

"It is… a little," Don had to admit. Amita and his own stupidity were making him make mistake after mistake. "But I don't want it to be. I told Colby that I wasn't going to let anyone make us feel that what we have is weird."

"Well, that's good. I take it that you're happy with him."

Charlie smiled at Don, drinking some more coffee. "I am happy. But I'm sure you don't want to hear about it."

"Are you kidding me? Of course I want to know how that relationship is going. Of course, I don't need to know the details, but…"

"I knew it."

"But I'm always going to be interested in what's going on with you, ok?"

They looked at each other for a few seconds. Charlie could definitely feel the good vibes Don was sending to him.

"We have to get those results on the pills," Don muttered, playing with his mug. "Did Colby call yet to say when they will be available?"

"No, he hasn't." At that moment, Charlie's cell phone rang. He took a look at his caller ID and said, "It's him. I'll be right back."

With that, he went to the living room, leaving Don behind. "I'm here, Colby."

The green-eyed agent's voice made him pleasantly nervous. "Hey. Look, I went to the lab, but they have like twelve cases of a higher priority that need to gets their tests done, so it's going to take them a couple of days to get their hands on ours."

"But we need to know what's going on with my Dad as soon as possible."

"I know, that's why I was thinking we could maybe use CalSci's resources."

The idea was so good, especially when Charlie was blocked from how worried he felt, that he unconsciously blushed.

"Charlie, do you want me to-?" Colby continued.

"We could ask Larry to do it tomorrow, since he must be at the monastery tonight. I'm sure he'll be thrilled to help."

"Ok. Bye."

But the mathematician didn't want him to go yet. "Wait, Colby…"

"Do you need something else? Tell me and I'll get it for you."

"No, it's not that. I just… Why don't you come over and sleep here tonight?"

When there was silence from the other side of the line, Charlie thought that he might have scared his lover with that proposal. "Look, it was only a suggestion, you don't have to do it if you don't want to, I was jus-"

"Charlie, I'd love to." Colby was talking sweet to his lover; Charlie could feel every emotion through his voice.

"Really?" he asked, smiling widely.

"Yeah. I really want to be there for you."

Charlie swallowed hard, suddenly becoming more aware that he was blushing. "Ok, then. I'll see you soon."

"I'll see you soon."

When the conversation was over, Charlie took a moment to make himself come down from his happiness. He felt that he had no right to feel happy when his father was ill. _Dad's not ok. Dad's not ok._

"What did Colby say?" Amita asked, making him jump in his place. She was by the door, and she had probably been watching Charlie while he talked to Colby.

"He said that there are too many cases, so we can't use the FBI lab. But we have CalSci's, so…"

Now she smiled sweetly; she went towards him and suddenly hugged him. "Everything will be all right, Charlie…"

He wasn't so sure of that. There was something about the way Amita had put her arms around him, the way she had spoken those words into his ear, that made him feel completely uncomfortable. So he said it. "Amita, please…"

"What?"

"Just… don't do _this_, ok?" Charlie begged her, taking her arms away from him.

"Do what?" She didn't seem to understand, but what she was doing was wrong.

"Hugging me… like we're still together, or something."

"I'm being friendly, that's all," she explained, and her face turned into a sad, angry expression.

"Well, it doesn't seem like it." _Because of your equations, I hurt Colby. There was no reason to do that! If you hadn't come here…_

"There are no underlying intentions, you _know_ me!"

Breathing hard, they stared at each other. Maybe Charlie was taking this over the edge. He was probably making assumptions that were only going to damage what was left of his relationship with Amita. But when he tried to speak his mind about this, she turned around and walked away from him. He immediately followed her, and when he found her, she was grabbing her stuff. "Amita, I..."

He looked around. Don wasn't at the table anymore.

"Thank you, Charlie. Thank you very much," Amita said with an angry tone of voice. And with that, she left the house.

Soon, the door was closed and Charlie was starting to hate everything he had said to her. _I'm being a total asshole today. I'm doing it all wrong…_

Shaking his head and talking to himself, he went upstairs, to his father's bedroom. The little lamp on the nightstand was turned on, and the soft light barely illuminated Alan's sleeping face. He was still breathing normally.

But there was someone else there. Charlie couldn't help but smile when he saw that Don had fallen asleep on the floor. He had his back against the closet, and his head was against his chest.

_So coffee didn't work for you, huh? You work too much, and now you have to take care of your family, too._ Slowly, Charlie took one of the blankets Don had started to take out from the closet before falling asleep, and he tossed it over his brother's body. Then he sat on the floor, by his side, and watched him and Alan sleep for a while.

It was a quiet relaxing experience. He felt like he was taking care of the two of them, even if his father was the only one who actually needed help at the moment. Minutes passed by very quickly, and they were strangely wonderful.

When it was almost four o'clock in the morning, someone rang the door bell. It was Colby. Charlie received him with a smile. He could feel his own heart being quiet, calm, because of having spent some time in silence with his family at Alan's bedroom.

"How's your Dad?" Colby asked once he stepped into the house and the door had been closed behind him.

"He's ok for now. The doctor came and said that he would probably need to run some blood tests or something on him, but he doesn't know what to say about the pills, everything about them seems to be good."

"Oh. Maybe I shouldn't have taken them with me. Maybe I should have left them here for him to see them…"

As Colby seemed to be apologizing for something that didn't make any sense, Charlie approached him and kissed him tenderly. "You did the right thing. You're being… _amazing_, Colby."

There was no response from the other man. Colby looked at Charlie in the eyes, not saying a word. Sometimes he seemed to be about to say something, but then he always became quiet again.

"Do you want some coffee? Or do you prefer to get some sleep?" Charlie continued.

"I… I don't know. Should we sleep? Will Don take care of your father whil-?"

"Don's asleep in my Dad's bedroom. It was funny finding him there." Now the mathematician got into the kitchen and served two cups of coffee. He handed one to Colby, who had just entered the room, and said, "Hey, come with me."

"Where?"

"Just follow me, ok?"

Charlie heard Colby's footsteps behind him as he guided him to the garage. Once they were both there, he put his mug on a table and turned around.

He went towards Colby and kissed him deeply. There was this need to really show him how much he appreciated his efforts to help him, how much he loved to have him there when he was so scared that something bad could happen to his father.

When he broke the kiss, Colby stared at him, smiling. "I guess that's a way to say 'thank you.'"

"Well, I've got _other_ ways to show you how thankful I am, you know." Charlie smiled, too, cupped Colby's face and plunged his tongue into his mouth.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

_**A/N: FEEDBACK IS LOVE.**_


	10. The witnesses

**Title:** "The witnesses"  
**Series**: _Holding on to a lie_, part 10/?  
**Characters:** Charlie/Colby, Amita/OMC.  
**Rating:** **MA for safety.**  
**Spoilers:** None.  
**Summary:** Someone watches Charlie thank Colby for all his help.

**Feedback:** I love feedback. 

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Numb3rs or anything related to it, but I do own the original aspects and any OCs.  
**Beta:**_Thanks to my amazing beta._

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

**Holding on to a lie**

**Part 10: "The witnesses"  
**

_Colby was saying something that sounded somehow like a repressed moan. He was at Charlie's mercy, walking backwards, until his back hit the wall, right beside the door. His lover didn't stop; he was pressing his tongue into his mouth, cupping his face and caressing his hair, not wanting to let him go._

"_Charlie…" he whispered in between kisses, while he blushed more and more. "Charlie…"_

"_Mmm… Colby…"_

"_Ahh, wait…"_

"_No…"_

"_Don't you like it when I kiss you?" _

"_Yeah, of course I do, it's just that..." _

"_When I kiss you like this… or… like this?" Charlie asked, while kissing his lover in different ways. First tenderly, then roughly._

_Colby was definitely having problems to say whatever he wanted to say. Charlie was all over him, his hands firmly roaming his body in a very possessive manner. His fingers had reached Colby's ass when the agent finally snapped, "Wait, stop."_

_This time Charlie retrieved his hand, as well as his entire body from his lover. "What?"_

_During the next half minute, he and Colby looked at each other. The agent was flushed and a little breathless, his lips were swollen from the passionate kisses and his shirt was a little bit wrinkled._

_None of them said a word._

_So Charlie went towards Colby again, now taking a moment to admire Colby's face very closely. "This is… I…" Charlie mumbled that and then he seemed to become speechless. The other man looked at him, his eyes watching every corner of Charlie's face. _

_The next kiss was soft and calm. Colby was definitely relaxing, considering the way his arms hung around his body… He finally set down the mug he was holding. He reached for Charlie's back, then for his neck, delightfully encouraging him to deepen the kiss…_

**Click.**

"Damn it, Bob, don't you see that I'm busy?! They're about to have sex in the garage!"

"_Bob_? What happened to 'Bobby'?"

"It turns to 'annoying, unbearable Bob' when you don't let me watch them!"

Amita could hear Bob sigh behind her, but still, she didn't move away from his lap. She didn't even move the sheets that covered their bodies while they rested together on the bed. And she let her therapist touch her in any way he wanted, as long as he didn't interrupt the show.

She reached for the laptop she had on her thighs. She pressed a key and the camera zoomed to Charlie and Colby kissing each other fervently against the wall.

**Click.**

_The hand on the back of Charlie's neck had tightened his grip, and now there was no space for air._

"_No, no…" Colby said, unexpectedly, breaking the kiss again._

_Charlie looked at him, gazed down his body, and then smiled as he ran his hand down Colby's chest, then his abdomen, finally cupping his groin._

_The other man, who had been silently watching that move, gasped at the sensation, as was expected. Colby's breathing accelerated, but he still managed to whisper one more time, "No…" However, he reached for Charlie and kissed him again. "Yes…" he muttered when he broke the kiss._

"_Is this some kind of… game? Because I can play, if you want me to…" Charlie watched his lover closely as he caressed his cock through his jeans. Slowly, Colby started moaning and gasping softly again. "This is good… very good…" the mathematician continued, biting his lip and he pressed his hand firmer against Colby's groin. "I still owe you so much for what I did…"_

"_You… you don't… owe me anything…" Colby whispered, pushing into his lover's hand and holding to a shelf and the doorframe at the same time._

"_Oh, yes, I do…" _

_Very carefully, Charlie undid Colby's jeans and lowered the zipper. As he did it, he went down on his knees, always watching his lover's reaction to his choices._

**Click.**

"Bob, I warn you, if you keep doing that, I…" Amita could feel Bob's mouth kissing her neck.

"You're beautiful… You're such a desirable woman…" the old man said as he continued tracing open-mouthed kisses along her ear. "You like your Bobby, remember?"

"Ahh… I…" She knew she was clearly melting at the way she was being treated. Maybe Bob wasn't her type and he was using him, but every time she got such pleasure from a man, no matter who he was, she gave up and let that man possess her completely.

While she enjoyed the way Bob knew how to touch her, she reached for the keyboard again…

**Click.**

"_What do you want?"_

"_Huh?" Colby visibly held his breath and his eyes went wide open._

_Charlie rephrased his question. "Tell me what you want, Colby." He was still on his knees, in front of Colby's open pants. "Or don't say nothing at all, just like when we did this that time…I know what you need, anyway…"_

"_Charlie…"_

"_Shhh… There's no need for you to talk…"_

_The mathematician ran his palms over Colby's legs, focusing on his thighs and his hips. The bulge on his lover's groin was growing immensely, and he stared at it while he applied some sweet pressure to the areas that surrounded it._

_Finally, he leaned over and…_

"_No!" the agent said, leaning and putting his hands on Charlie's shoulders, stopping him from going further. "I mean it this time."_

_Charlie looked up like he wasn't expecting that._

**Click.**

"_What?!_ No, you can't stop there, I need to see you!" Desperately, Amita got closer to the screen of her laptop, yelling at it while she pushed Bob away.

"Amita…" the man said. He seemed to be annoyed.

Yet, she could feel his hands roaming her naked back, tossing her hair to the side and leaving kisses all over her spine again. "Bob…" she warned him, but she also closed her eyes, trying to suppress the moan that was about to escape from her lips.

**Click.**

"_I'm sorry," Charlie said as he got up. "I shouldn't have done this… You are obviously uncomfortable."_

"_It's not that I don't want this, because I do. It's just that your Dad and Don are up there, you know…"_

"_I see," Charlie muttered, placing his hands on Colby's hips. "But they're asleep…"_

"_Yeah, but still… they could hear us…"_

"_Hear _you_, you mean…" Colby blushed when Charlie smiled at his own words.  
_

"_Charlie…"_

"_They're not going to hear anything. I'm the only one who's going to listen to every little noise you make…"_

_Colby gasped at the statement, his eyes fixed on his lover's mouth. "Still, your father's not ok. I don't think this is the moment or the place to do this…"_

"_Yeah, it's definitely isn't, you're right about that. But… I really don't want to stop now. Although I will if you really want me to."_

_Colby made his decision very quickly. He held Charlie closer to his body and kissed him hard. A few seconds later, looking into Colby's green eyes, Charlie sneaked a hand inside the other man's boxers. The agent jumped in his place, smiling; Charlie had obviously touched him the right way._

**Click.**

"Oh, god…"

"Are you ok?"

Running a hand over her sweaty forehead, Amita turned around and looked at Bob. "Did you… see what they're doing… right in this moment?"

Bob slowly nodded, like he wasn't impressed by it. "They're fucking."

"Don't say it like that. That's not it. They're… making… love." She turned to the screen, letting little tears fall down her face. "That is sweet, tender… and what I used to have with Charlie in bed was nothing like that… In fact, it was absolutely nothing…"

**Click.**

"_Yes, just relax, Colby… This is good. This is what you want, this is what I want… What's wrong with that?" _

_Colby was biting his lip while Charlie's skilled hand worked his length from base to tip._

"_I'm hearing you… I'm hearing you gasp and say how much you want me right now inside your head…"_

_Charlie's whispers were followed by Colby looking at him intensely, then leaning to give him a deep, slow, wet kiss._

"_I love the garage. I'd love to do all kinds of things to you here… and then, on my desk at CalSci…" Charlie continued._

_The gasp Colby made, and the way he broke the kiss, closing his eyes, seemed to have some meaning. He was sweating heavily, and he didn't focus his eyes to Charlie anymore._

_So Charlie muttered into his ear, "Do you like dirty talk, Colby?"_

_Colby suddenly came over his lover's hand, gasping and pushing into Charlie's palm. The mathematician watched every single expression in the other man's face while he let him empty himself and have the release he had built up for him._

**Click.**

Tears were falling onto the sheets, from Amita's face, while she watched Charlie's face admire the way Colby came down from his arousal.

"It's ok."

She turned around. For a moment, she had forgotten that Bob was there. Now he was resting his head on her shoulder, and she was tightly holding his hand.

Amita stared at their entwined fingers. That hand should belong to Charlie. But that hand was giving Colby pleasure at the moment, at the garage of the Eppes residence.

As she wiped her tears, Amita saw how Bob leaning on the pillows, and she did it as well, resting on his chest. He caressed her hair as the end of the show arrived.

**Click.**

_Charlie withdrew his hand from Colby's boxers and slowly licked his fingers in front of his lover._

"_What about… our deal? We were going to take it… slow…" Colby whispered while he watched the other man._

"_I don't really consider this…" he licked his index finger, "to be formally sex," he licked his thumb. "The concept of it implicates, you know… the actual consummation of the act," he explained, and he sucked his pinkie into his mouth._

"_Oh… I guess that we're going slow, after all…" Colby said, smiling. He seemed to be a lot more relaxed now._

"_Yeah…" Charlie muttered, and he gave his lover a little kiss on the lips. "Thank you for everything you're going for me and my family."_

_  
Colby smiled widely. "You're welcome. Although I feel like I'm the one who has to has to say 'thank you.'"_

_As he went towards one of the desks, Charlie laughed happily. "I guess you do, even if I had my fun, too." He took the mug full of coffee he had left there ten minutes ago, and sipped it slowly. "So…"_

"_Charlie, Colby, did you drink all the coffee already?" Don's voice called them from another part of the house. In a second, Charlie arranged his hair with his fingers; Colby rapidly cleaned himself and he arranged his clothes and his hair, too. They walked out of the garage with their mugs, giving each other looks, like nothing had happened between them while Don and Alan were sleeping._

**Click. **

"So Charlie's father is in bed?" Bob wanted to know when Amita closed her laptop.

"Yeah… he has a cold. I bought him some pills for him to get better." In a way, Amita was playing dirty with Bob. She hadn't told him about what kind of pills she had put in the little bottle she had given Alan.

"Oh, you're very sweet." He smiled and kissed a little spot in her forehead.

Amita wasn't crying anymore, she was focused on something else. She confidently open her laptop again, clicked some icons and options in the screen, and soon her burner was working.

"Were you recording this?"

"Yeah… but I'm actually burning it into a DVD right now. Best fit, best quality."

Bob laughed at her little smirk. "Well, well, well… It seems that Mr. Patrick Garner did leave a sequel here, in your little, sweet brain…"

"Yeah… He was useful, even after all he did to me. He taught me to be prepared for everything." Amita answered. "But this was also very easy. Alan had forgotten his pills at the garage, so I had the chance to put the little camera there without no one suspecting of me."

"Will you be forcing Charlie to come back with you using that video?"

"What? No, that would be stupid. I'd build a scandal. Charlie would probably quit his job because he gets so ashamed about everything… That's one of the things that make him so adorable…" she muttered, smiling sweetly while she dreamed about the times when she was happy. "Anyways, he would still be with Colby."

"So what are you going t-?"

"Oh, you'll see, Bob. You'll see." She took the DVD she had burnt and waved it at Bob. They both stared at it, smiling. "This is for my personal collection."

"Does watching them turn you on, you dirty little thing?"

"Maybe. Or maybe I think that if I see this enough, the idea of letting Charlie go will get into my head…"

"Hmmm. That's funny. But there's something that makes me curious about you, Amita," Bob muttered with a serious tone of voice. "Why do you prefer watching that video when you can get some real sex yourself?"

When he gave her his wicked, dirty smile, she couldn't help laugh sadly. She caressed his body and then sat on his chest. Finally, she leaned and kissed him deeply, all tongue and teeth, and he moaned under her touch.

At least Bob made her stop thinking about the men that had turned her life upside down and had completely messed up her mind.

At least she was still desirable for someone in the world.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

_**A/N: FEEDBACK IS LOVE.**_


	11. Face to face

**Title:** "Face to face"  
**Series**: _Holding on to a lie_, part 11/?  
**Characters:** Colby/Charlie, David, Amita.  
**Rating:** M.  
**Spoilers:** None.  
**Summary:** David freaks out when he runs into someone he'd rather forget.

**Feedback:** I love feedback. 

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Numb3rs or anything related to it, but I do own the original aspects and any OCs.  
**Beta:**_Thanks to my amazing beta._

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

**Holding on to a lie**

**Part 11: "Face to face"  
**

As Don had to take care of his FBI duties for some hours, Charlie had stayed at home, looking after his father. As a result, and as it had been planned earlier that morning, Colby was the one to bring the cold pills to CalSci in order to ask Larry to test them as soon as possible.

He found the physicist at Charlie's office, writing on the blackboard. However, the equations seemed to be pure scribblings, as several parts of the calculations were smudged.

Larry was staring at them with a preoccupied expression, his palms on both sides of his face, his fingers tapping his cheeks slowly.

"Larry," Colby said when he was behind him, because the other man didn't seem to have noticed his present at the office. As a response, Larry jumped in his place, looking absolutely freaked out.

When he turned around and saw Colby, he rested a hand on his own chest, breathing heavily. "Oh, Agent Granger… my heart is pounding from your sudden appearance."

"Sorry that I scared you…"

"Ahh…"

"Are you ok?" Colby asked, because Larry seemed to be hyperventilating. "Why don't you sit down?" He insisted the physicist to sit in a chair, and he finally accepted. Colby saw him take deep breaths, like he was trying to calm down and take his breathing to normal rhythm.

"This is what… getting into the civilized… modern, rushed world… does to the ones… who have found peace… in the silence… of a sacred monastery," Larry mumbled.

Now Colby took a file from Charlie's desk and started to wave it in Larry's direction to give him some more air. "I see. Um… Larry…"

"Yeah?"

"Alan… He's not ok."

"What?" Larry seemed to be genuinely worried. His eyes were fixed on Colby's while he waited for the news.

"He fainted last night."

"He fain-"

"Yeah."

Larry's consternated face said it all. And yet, he got up and went towards the door.

"Larry, wait, please," Colby asked him before he left the office, probably to go to the Eppes residence. "I need to ask you a favor." He took out the bottle of pills. "This is Alan's medication. He's been taking it for two weeks, but he seems to be getting worse. Amita says she bought it at a naturist shop and that these are trust-worthy, but just in case, we want to know what kind of substances it has." Now he handed the pills to Larry, who started to read the labels it had. "The FBI lab has too much work, and we need…"

"Give me a couple of hours," Larry muttered, and he left the room, not letting Colby finish his request.

In fact, Colby saw him start running as he kept reading the labels of the medication. "Thanks, Larry!" he yelled at him.

"Yeah, yeah!" the physicist yelled back as he disappeared at the end of the corridor. "I'll take the results to Charles' house!"

Colby laughed, shaking his head. _He might be weird, but he's a good man._ He turned around, ready to return to the FBI for a couple of hours, when he saw David coming towards him. "Hey, man."

"Hey," David muttered, and he went into Charlie's office. Then he turned to Colby. "Do you happen to know where Larry is? We kind of need him to give us a hand. We don't want to bother Charlie right now, with everything that's going on."

It was obvious that Don had told the rest of team the news about his family. It was nice to know that everybody was helping Charlie, too. "Thanks for your support, David."

"Don't even mention it, it's ok. We're friends." Acting a little awkwardly, David patted Colby's shoulder, and then he went silent.

As the situation was getting uncomfortable, Colby had to say something to get over it. "Speaking of friends and problems, were you able to fix that issue you had?"

The answer didn't come right away. All of a sudden, David looked like he had seen something or someone who really scared him.

"Amita, hi," Colby muttered when he turned around and saw her stumble because of carrying a very heavy pile of books. When she tried to reply, all of them fell to the floor. "Don't worry, I've got it."

It was all about being gentle. Maybe Amita was acting weird, and maybe Charlie had had the feeling that she wanted him back, just like he had told Colby the night before; but she was still a wounded should that needed everybody's help to get her life back to normal again.

While he helped her to pick up her books, he thought about the conversation he had had with Charlie that morning about that issue.

_Colby had slept on the couch, and when he had woken up, there it had been Charlie offering him a cup of coffee._

"_I had to make some more for Don, so he could drive to the FBI," the mathematician said, sitting on the coffee table in front of Colby._

"_Did you get some sleep?"_

"_Yeah. Don took care of my Dad while I rested for a couple of hours, since he fell asleep very early, remember? I'm still so tired, though…"_

_Sleepy as he was, Colby could see that his lover was carefully dressed. "Well, I couldn't tell. You look nice."_

"_Oh, I do, don't I?" Charlie said, as he leaned and kissed the other man sweetly. "I think someone's still thankful for last night."_

_Surprise by that comment, Colby felt himself blushing, and rubbed the back of his head. "Um… weren't you the one who were saying 'thanks'?"_

_The next thing he knew, Charlie was laughing very close to his mouth, and then kissing him again. "Maybe, since you're so good to me… But who's counting, anyway?"_

_  
When Colby broke the next kiss, he muttered, "Maybe Amita."  
_

"_Colby…"_

"_Why did she come here last night? Because she wanted your attention. I don't like that she's hovering around us, around _you_, like she's judging us all the time or something." Colby took a deep breath before continuing. "I don't know. There's something about her I can't quite figure out, you know, besides the David conflict and all, and at the same time, I know that I'm supposed to help her because she's so damaged."_

_Charlie immediately kissed him on the cheek. Colby melted at the gesture; he was suddenly out of words. _

_Charlie said, "You worry about nothing. And I do believe that there's something weird about her now, but I know when and how to draw the line."_

"_You do?" Colby snapped, because Charlie wasn't exactly the kind of person who knew how to read people or how to handle stressful situations. Just looking back, a few weeks ago they were having fight after fight because Charlie couldn't decide whether he wanted to give their relationship a try or not._

"_Yes, I do. I know that maybe you won't believe me, but I felt that she was making a move on me when she hugged me before you came home again last night…"_

"_She hugged you?" _

_Charlie nodded and continued, "But I drew the line. I told her that she couldn't do that, that I'm with you now, and…"_

"_And…?"_

"_And she got all angry and left," the mathematician concluded._

"_Oh." After hearing the story, there was something that Colby needed to ask. "Are you worried about that?"_

"_I was, but… she has to understand that things have changed. Besides, I know her, I'm sure that she's just confused about this whole situation which must be still weird for her. She just needs to find her way out of the mess Patrick Garner brought into her life."_

"_Mmhm," Colby muttered as he looked into his lover's eyes in silence. _

"_What?"_

_Slowly, Colby simply reached for him and kissed him tenderly. Charlie responded, until Alan's voice came from upstairs. _

"_Charlie?" _

"_I'm coming, Dad!" Charlie yelled as he got up. However, he quickly returned to Colby, kissed him one more time and finally he did walk up the stairs, smiling. Colby smiled as he turned to the cup of coffee his lover had left on the coffee table and he drank it in little sips as he thought that maybe Charlie was changing because of him._

As he picked up the last books, Colby lifted his gaze towards Amita. She was looking up, her eyes obviously fixed on David, who hadn't move from the place behind his partner.

"Hello, David," she finally said, with a sweet, lovely tone of voice.

There was silence from David. And he passed by Colby, leaving him and Amita behind.

"David? David!" Colby yelled, and he went towards his friend. He put a hand on his shoulder, but his partner rejected him and shook his head.

"Leave me _alone_!"

Colby didn't want to do it, but when he turned to Amita and saw her innocent, delicate face, he couldn't take it anymore. "What did you do?"

"What?" she muttered with a surprised expression, like she didn't understand the question.

So Colby had to make it clear. As he went towards her, he repeated, "What did you do to David?"

She tried to defend herself. "Me? What are you talking about?"

Her voice sounded really offended by Colby's question, but he got the strange, disturbing feeling that she was lying, just like he thought she was trying to get Charlie's attention at the house last night. "Amita, I know that you did something to him, you better tell me!"

"That's crazy, you can't accuse me of-"

That was it. Colby grabbed her arms; he could feel how she tightened the grip on her books. But he didn't care about whether he was making a scandal in the middle of the university, he didn't care about the students that were looking at him right in that moment. All he cared about what his best friend. _"Don't you lie to me! Tell me what the hell you did to him!"_

Someone approached them to control the situation. "Do we have a problem, here?" another professor said, and when Colby realized that he had almost lost control over himself, he let Amita go. He walked down the corridors, feeling everybody's eyes on his back, but all he could think about was helping David.

He found his partner outside, about to get into his car. "David, wait!" he called him, and he got to grab David's arm just before he got into the vehicle.

"I said 'leave me alone'."

"I can't leave you alone when you react like this. I did it before, and it certainly didn't work, did it? You didn't fix that problem you have, the one Amita caused!"

"So what? It's none of your business!"

"'It's none of your business'?" Colby repeated. "Of course it is, David, you're my partner and my friend!" He shook his head. "God, if you'd just tell me what she did…"

"No. Forget it, I already told you that I could deal with it."

"Yeah, how? Leaving every time she comes around?"

"Don't you dare judge me," David warned him.

"I'm not judging you, man, I just want to help you!" the other man yelled, waving his hands in the air. "Tell me what to do! You can trust me!"

David shook his head and tried to get into the car, but Colby grabbed his arm, firmly this time, wanting to make him stay. "David, talk to m-!"

A fist punched him hard in the face, right at his jaw. He felt dizzy, stumbled backwards and finally landed on the floor.

When he could open his eyes, he saw David standing in from of him. He was the one who had punched him, and it was unbelievable. But Colby's partner was there, trembling from head to feet, looking at him like he regretted what he had just done.

Yet, David said something before leaving. "You can't fix everything, Colby. You just can't, and you gotta learn to live with that." Then he got into his car and drove away.

The taste of blood hit Colby's system, making him become aware of the pain he felt in his jaw. When he touched the corner of his mouth, there it was the blood he had expected.

It was a sunny afternoon, and he was lying on the floor, students around him whispering theories about the fight they had seen. And David had left him there; he had run away from Amita in his car as fast as he could, like she was some kind of personal demon who knew his darkest secret.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

_**A/N: FEEDBACK IS LOVE.**_


	12. Never forget

**Title:** "Never forget"  
**Series**: _Holding on to a lie_, part 12/?  
**Characters:** Amita/David, Larry, Charlie/Colby.  
**Rating:** **MA.**  
**Spoilers:** None.

**Warnings:** **Non-con.**  
**Summary:** Larry starts testing Alan's cold pills. Is there something wrong with them?

**Feedback:** I love feedback. 

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Numb3rs or anything related to it, but I do own my creativity and any OCs.  
**Beta:**_Thanks to my amazing beta._

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

**Holding on to a lie**

**Part 12: "Never forget"  
**

Amita held her breath when she saw David hit Colby. It wasn't something she had expected. She had thought that David would react dramatically when he saw her for the first time after their last encounter, but violence… it was wrong.

Not that Amita had any rights to claim she knew how to handle a situation like that. She was aware of what she had done to David and regretted every second of it since it had happened. It was painful to know that she had taken advantage of him when he was just trying to help her, when he was trying to be a good friend.

But it was done. There was nothing she could do now to fix things, not even if David could become a problem when she got to perform her plans.

Luckily, Colby didn't come back to yell at her again. He got up and with a bleeding lip, he left in his car, while a bunch of CalSci students wondered what had happened.

_This isn't the moment to get emotional. This is an important moment, stay focused_. She ran through the corridors of the university, trying to find Larry. She talked to a couple of students, who answered to her awkwardly that they had no idea where the Physics professor was. They also seemed to be a little scared of Amita, probably due to the fact that they had seen Colby accuse her of doing something terrible.

Feeling a little disturbed that she was once again the center of attention, Amita continued looking for Larry. She finally found him at the lab, running some data through a computer. The place was quiet and silent; after all, students mostly came there at night, when ideas seemed to hunt them.

She had just said, "Hi, Larry," when she saw them.

_The cold pills._ They were in their little bottle, on the table, right beside Larry's computer.

"Hello, Amita," he muttered, still focused on the screen.

She went towards him, walking slowly, never taking her eyes off the little, perfect bottle. "Did you finish working with those?" Larry was too concentrated on whatever he was doing at his computer, and he didn't respond to her question. So she asked, "What are you doing?"

"I'm doing some research. I'm reading about the latest drugs used in cold pills. Constant progress is so overwhelming every single day."

As Larry seemed to be absorbed by his work, she waited for a response.

"In order to continue, I need to…" He gesture something she didn't understand and he went away to find whatever he needed at the moment.

_An idea. I need an idea. _

"You know, I'm experiencing this thing that Don calls 'gut,' and it's telling me that we're going to find some very interesting data when we test those pills," he said while he grabbed a couple of bottles at the back of the room, giving his back to Amita.

_Or maybe I don't need any excuses… _"Larry, I remembered that Charlie wanted me to take care of Alan for a while. Sorry that I bothered you, but I need to go now…" _A little lie. Nothing big.  
_

"Of course. Go, go… There is no problem, Amita."

As he didn't turn around, she rapidly grabbed the cold pills and escaped from the lab. He would surely notice that they were gone, but as he sometimes got so distracted about his own theories, he wouldn't suspect of her as the only person who could have taken them.

_I've got it covered. I've got it covered. _She got out of the university as fast as she could and took a cab to her apartment. The constant movement of the car made her felt like she was in some kind of race, like she was about to reach the goal everybody longed for but only a few could get.

Once at her building, she took the elevator to the fifth floor; her whole body was shaking, as if she was running away from someone. Maybe from her own conscience.

Using the keys to open the door was pretty difficult, because people seemed to be watching her, even if all they did was greet her as she tried to enter her apartment.

But once she was in, she felt safe. She had left the outside world behind, and now she could let herself be absorbed by her own obsession.

Everything was exactly the same way it had been since two weeks ago, when she had had that… _moment_ with David. Food, dust, dirtiness, clothes over the floor, very little sun coming from the barely open windows.

Pictures of Charlie and Colby everywhere. In the dark, memories were more disturbing than usual. They covered every single corner of the furniture, especially the sofa where she and David had been. She could see herself and him having the same conversation over and over again. She could still remember every little bit, and every single thing David had confessed to her about the person he had fallen for a long time ago.

"_But you kept being into men. You never became completely straight, even if Daniel hurt you that much."_

"_I don't know… I guess that to some extent I'm still trying to change the past when it's not possible. I think Megan said something about it when we had a case. She said that there are lots of underlying meanings to everything we do, especially when our actions are related to experiences from the past."  
_

"_I see… So that means that I'll always remember Charlie in everything I do, even if I don't notice it. That's such good news."_

Amita could even feel David's body against her, comforting her while she cried.

"_You pretended that those women you were with were actually Daniel, didn't you?"_

"_Yeah, sometimes, I guess."_

"_For example, could you pretend that I'm him?"_

Overwhelmed by her own feelings, she ran towards the windows and opened them widely. Sun bathed her entire body, sending some energy to her nerves, soothing her senses and bringing them back to life the way it should be.

Breathing the thick air of the city wasn't good enough, but it was something. Something that could maybe put her heart in peace for a while.

She walked backwards, always running her hands through her hair. She didn't care if she left it ruffled; she wanted to forget about the afternoon in which she had hurt the one person who had really tried to do something good for her.

But she couldn't.

"_Please, David. I need… I need to feel that it's possible for me to get Charlie to like me. I don't care if he thinks of Colby when he kisses me or makes love to me, as long as he doesn't leave me for him. I couldn't take it."_

"_Ok, I think you should juggle that thought around in your head, and if you still decide that you want another chance with him, then you should talk about it with Charlie, because I'm certainly not the best person to tell those things to."_

She had felt so terribly, stupidly angry back then.

"_I told you about my fears, I shared my feelings with you. Isn't that what you wanted?"_

"_Yes, but I meant to help you, not to offer you get you into some kind of sick lie that doesn't make any sense," David had stated._

"_It makes sense to me! It is what I need. I need to feel that someone will have me, even if I'm not the one they want. That's the only hope I have for getting Charlie back."_

"_You're not ok, Amita. Please, let me go, I don't want to hurt you."_

"_Then you'll have me, just to prove that I still can get Charlie back with me."_

She grabbed her head, not being able to hold back the tears anymore. _No more of those memories. Please, no more._

But there was no way to get rid of them.

"_What you're saying is crazy. Look, I won't say anything to anyone about it, but could you please calm down?" _

"_Stop telling me to calm down! Stop. Telling me. To calm. Down. Hands up."_

Why hadn't David seen it coming, why hadn't he stopped her from taking his gun and using it to…?

"Stop, stop, stop, stop," Amita repeated as she walked backwards and stumbled with one of the shelters that were against the wall. "_Stop!_"

Her remembering process came once again to an end. It always seemed that screaming and yelling at his mind to leave her alone was the only way to make herself go back to normal after a tense day like this.

She took off her shoes and walked barefoot to her room. The state of it was messy and full of stuff that shouldn't really be there, except for the photographs that covered the floor. Desperate, she walked between them; reached for one of the DVDs she had burnt last night and put into the DVD player.

When the voices of Charlie and Colby making love started to fill the room, everything else seemed to disappear. It was just her and the new, happy couple, having sex in the garage.

She had held herself together while being with Bob. Amita had only shed a few tears, nothing more, shared some words that she hadn't been able to hide anymore.

Now that she was alone, she could let her feelings truly manifest themselves. And yet, now they seemed not to want to leave.

Gasps, whimpers and moans, expressions of mutual understanding, love and desire, were something she had never had. And maybe Amita couldn't say anything right now, maybe she couldn't get her eyes off the TV screen, but she could certainly cry in silence.

Her legs were losing their energy because of the pain she felt in her chest and the way her head seemed to be about to explode, and she had to sit on the floor, very close to the TV, watching every movement and hearing every word said by the lovers.

Her fingers reached for Charlie and Colby's faces on the screen while their love-making session was coming to an end. She had seen that part fifty times already that day, and yet it always amused her how it had the ability to completely drag her attention and rip off her heart.

Just like she had ripped off David's.

"_Open your pants."_

"_What? No." _

"_Do it!" She had placed David's gun on his forehead, making him surrender to her desires. "You'll take me. You'll take me and you'll enjoy it, even if all you do is thinking about Daniel."_

"_What the hell are you doing?!" _

"_Getting hope back…!"_

_And then she had opened David's pants, had guided him into her without any kind of preparation. Without any protection._

She cried a little louder, cursing because the memories had come back once again. But the worst part, besides having hurt David, was that it had been useless.

Charlie wanted Colby. _Colby._ Why the hell had he chosen him?

There was nothing she could learn from Colby about how to put a spell on Charlie because she knew that even if she could, her ex-boyfriend wouldn't respond. She simply wasn't Colby; she would never be him.

And suddenly it was so hard to breathe, so hard to keep words in order, so hard to stay in control. As her hands trembled, she sighed, grabbing the little bottle of pills she had stolen from Larry. Maybe those had been a good idea. Maybe not.

She took a couple of them, knowing exactly what they'd do to her system, but she needed to calm down. Pain was taking over every cell of her brain because it was so sad to see her life fall down, be ripped off by facts she had never expected.

As she had never done it before, she put the TV volume at its maximum. She needed to see them one more time, she needed to make herself understand that she couldn't intervene with what Charlie and Colby had. In a way, she know that she needed to stop herself…

She reached for the remote and played the video once again. The groans and whines now seemed to have an echo. All her previous ideas started to mix inside her head, their organization had suddenly disappeared, and they were loosing and more meaning, like they hadn't really made sense from the very beginning.

She shouldn't have changed the pills.

She shouldn't have taken her job back, she should have started all over again, somewhere else, from scratch.

She shouldn't have let Patrick Garner change her.

But even if he was dead now, his influence on her was undeniable. Amita hated him so much for ruining her life, she hated him for putting such terrible ideas into her head, ideas she couldn't stop.

Because she was aware of her mental state, she knew that she was making a huge mistake. But it was late. Too late. Decisions had been made, no matter how many memories hunted her.

"_Moan," she had ordered David while she rode him fiercely, roughly, not caring how much damage she was doing to both of them, both physically and mentally. " Moan, like I was Daniel… Think about him while we're together… It doesn't matter, as long as you take me…"_

_  
David had responded before if he didn't, she would put a bullet into his head._

"_Yes, that's it. That's it, David, c'mon," she cried, and she kissed his lips, leaving them bruised. "Now scream my name while you think of him. Scream my name, please!"_

_She had heard him say her name over and over until he had come deep insider her._

_And a while later, she had been taking some birth-control pills at the airport, as she waited for a plane she'd never get into._

Without any restrains, Amita lay on the floor, her back arching in pain. She cried loudly, digging her fingernails into the carpet, wishing someone could save her from what her own mind had planned. The inner voice that obsessed didn't want to shut up; it craved her to go for what she wanted.

And she wanted it all back.

VVVV

"Oh, no, no…" Larry said as he noticed that Alan's medication was gone. He looked everywhere but couldn't find it. He also had no idea who could have taken them. _Unless Amita… but no, why would she do that?_

A printer threw out a set of results right after another one had thrown its own. Larry had been waiting for both of them. He was now thankful that just in case, he had already run two analyses in two different machines, to get the results on the cold pills as soon as possible.

Thinking that the naturist shop would probably be closed because of selling a somehow dangerous medication, he walked towards the printer. He took the piece of paper and read it quickly.

"Oh, for Einstein," he muttered, his eyes big re-reading the data, as if he was trying to make his brain believe the news.

Eszopiclone. Zolpidem. Triazolam.

Sleeping pills.

_Amita?_

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

_**A/N: FEEDBACK IS LOVE.**_


	13. Background details

**Title:** "Background details"  
**Series**: _Holding on to a lie_, part 13/?  
**Characters:** Colby/Charlie, Don, Megan, Amita/OMC.  
**Rating:** M.  
**Spoilers:** None.

**Warnings:** Discussion of rape.  
**Summary:** Colby finds some data about Amita's therapist that should be taken into consideration.

**Feedback:** I love feedback. 

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Numb3rs or anything related to it, but I do own my creativity and any OCs.  
**Beta:**_Thanks to my amazing beta._

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

**Holding on to a lie**

**Part 13: "Background details"  
**

There was no point to stay at CalSci. David had acted violently and Amita certainly wasn't willing to confess what she had done to him. Everything seemed to be upside down.

The only thing Colby could do was go back to the FBI. There was an idea that had been taking over his head since he had been hit by his best friend.

Once at the headquarters, he immediately started looking for Megan. After a few minutes of asking around, he found her talking with another agent about the current case the team had.

He waited for her to finish the conversation and only then he approached her. "Megan."

"Hey, Colby… what happened to you?" she said, looking at his broken lip.

"It's nothing… Are you busy?"

She nodded, still looking at his jaw, like she knew that he was trying to avoid a conversation about it. "Did you know that the guy we're looking for had a contact with a female sergeant? Maybe you know her… Mary Miller."

"No, I don't know her…" Colby didn't know how to ask her what he wanted. But as usual, Megan was once step ahead of him.

"Is there something wrong?" she said. "Oh my god, did something else happen to Alan?"

It was very important to tell her that nothing like that had taken place. "No, no."

With worried eyes, she stared at him, like she was reading his soul. "Then what is it?"

He took a breath and guided her through the cubicles, taking her to the place they usually worked in. Only there he dared to ask, "How well do you know Bob Berenson?"

"Amita's therapist?" She looked kind of surprised by the question, but she still answered it. "Um… I can tell you that I saw him work at the DOJ a couple of times. I talked to him only for a few minutes, but it seemed that what people say about him was true."

"What do they say?"

"That he's the best in his field, a respected professional in the area."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah… I mean, from what I've seen… He's got a high level of understanding of victims of rape's psychology and he's been the creator of a good program to teach those people to handle stressful situations after their attacks," Megan explained. "That's why I suggested Don to call Berenson to help Amita. Sometimes, he does jobs for the FBI out of courtesy."

"Mmm."

"Why, do you see something weird?"

Shaking his head, Colby sat on one of the empty desks. "I don't like him. Amita's not better, you know?"

"What do you mean?"

When Megan came closer to him, he took a deep breath again. "Look, I wasn't going to tell you this, because David probably doesn't want me to, but I do it to help him. I found him at his apartment drinking heavily the other day. There were bottles everywhere, he was total mess..." He continued as her mouth hanged open. "I wanted to hear his reasons, so I stayed with him even after he passed out."

"He passed out? Oh, my god…"

"He denied everything. Especially one thing he had told me before fainting. He said that Amita had done something to him. But didn't want to tell me what it was exactly."

"And it has to be important, doesn't it? I mean, it affected him badly enough to make him not want to recognize the problem, which means he's embarrassed of it."

Colby got up from the desk and walked around. "He told me to go away. I did it because I thought that maybe he could handle it, but a while ago we passed Amita by at CalSci and he basically ran away from her. I followed him and… he hit me."

"What? Ok, that's definitely not good." Megan immediately reached for Colby and touched his bleeding lip. "Maybe you should let someone take a look at this, just in case…"

"I'm fine… Do you have any idea of what might be happening to him?" Deep inside, he hoped Megan could come up with some kind of theory that could explain his best friend's latest behavior.

She sighed. "I could tell you general stuff, but I don't have any real facts about his situation," she explained. "Besides, I just can't imagine Amita hurting him or anything like that."

"I know. It seems like she's trying to get Charlie ba-" Colby cut himself off and continued before he spilled out his insecurities. "That's why I asked you about Bob. Maybe he's having a bad influence on her."

Thoughtful, Megan spent the next seconds in silence. But then she muttered, "I told you, I've seen him work and he's good at it. However, as our work has proved to us more than once that not everything that shines is gold…" This time she looked at Colby, like she had thought of the time he worked for the Chinese. "You know that's not your case."

Nodding, he said, "Yeah." It really seemed that Megan didn't want to hurt his feelings and that she was trying to apologize for having picked the wrong words.

"What I mean is that it would be a good idea to do some research about him."

"I think so, too," Colby agreed. He turned to her and saw her smiling sweetly at him.

"Charlie chose you for a reason, you know. I don't think he's going to pay attention to anyone else."

It was nice to hear that right now. Even if he tried not to, Colby felt that Amita was a serious threat to his relationship with Charlie. He still didn't know why, but he got a bad feeling every time she came around. He nodded at Megan, and he was about to say "Thank you" when an agent came into the room.

"Agent Reeves, we've got Sergeant Miller at the interrogation room."

"Ok, thanks," she said, and then she turned to Colby, like she didn't know whether to help him or stick to her current case.

"Don't worry about it, I can do that research if you don't need me right now," he snapped.

"Don and I can take care of this," Megan assured him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

As he went towards his desk, he thanked her. He heard her say "Let me know if Larry gets something on the cold pills!" as she went towards the elevator.

Colby nodded and immediately started to work on his research. He spent an hour doing research. Bob Berenson really had a huge file, full of details and the wonderful reviews he had got because of his job at the DOJ. There was a lot of data to get together, and Colby did it carefully, paying attention to every single fact and figure that popped out from his career.

And he found out about a series of coincidences.

As it should be done, he checked everything four times, just to be sure that he wasn't making any mistakes. The same data came up every single time.

He lost track of time, and at the same moment he was staring at the files he had been revising and the photographs he had collected, Don and Megan were coming towards him with worried looks on their faces.

"Megan told me what happened with you and David," Don said, putting his hands on his hips.

"Yeah, he's not alright, trust me," Colby responded. "And it might not get better, according to what I've got." He got up and handed to Megan and his boss the files he had been studying. "I checked Bob Berenson's background. It turns out that if you take a look at his job records, this guy has like twenty important people he has helped out and more than three hundred that have had some seriously disturbing behavior after having attending therapy with him. The ones who benefited from his sessions were discharged always on the week of August 12th while the ones who got worse were allowed to go home on the week of November 10th, year after year."

In a few seconds, Megan revised the information. "Born on May 6th, 1953, early interested in Psychology and the Freudian school, first job at the DOJ in 1986… married Amy Rowland on August 12th,1989…"

"His wife was raped and murdered in an alley three months after the wedding," Don read as he looked at other dates, "on November 10th, that same year."

Colby explained his theory. "See? That's a very weird coincidence. And that's not all." He handed his friends a photograph of a murdered man. "This man is one of his female patient's husband. The woman said in her statement that she had been sexually attacked by Berenson during her therapy and that once she was discharged, she couldn't stand her husband to touch her that way. Eventually, he finished the problem by killing him."

"Oh, I remember hearing about it once… No one gave the woman credit because she had a severe mental illness and because after her first statement, she started accusing every man she saw of wanting to rape her – which wasn't weird in a case like hers," Megan muttered, still looking at the files. "It was pretty much of a scandal, but no one could prove Berenson was actually involved in it."

Taking a deep breath, Don left the papers and the photograph on one of the desks. "Look, this could mean something or not."

"And yet it makes sense, on a psychological level." The female agent took off her glasses and continued, "It could be a way for him to relive what went good and bad in his life, trying to change the events of the past. He gets good days on the second week of August, so his sessions are successful, but three months later, it all goes to hell."

"Theories are ok," Don muttered, "but we need more than that." He turned to Colby. "If this guy turns out to be a rapist, you can be sure I'm taking him down. But we need _evidence_."

The green-eyed agent bit his lip in worry because he knew that what he had wasn't exactly enough proof. "I know that, and that's why I'll keep looking. I'm telling you, Don, this guy isn't as good as everybody thinks he is."

"If you get anything, make sure to let me know," Don said as one agent signaled him from the back of the room. "Megan, we gotta go."

"I'll keep you posted," Colby said as they went away.

He sat at his desk, looked at a couple more files and didn't find anything about Bob Berenson who could be useful. Tired, he finally decided to go to see Charlie at the house, help him for while to take care of his father. After all, what Megan had said to him was true. If Charlie had chosen him, then he wouldn't fall for any tricks Amita would display.

**XXXXX**

A knock on the door.

Things looked shaky and out of place when Amita became aware that she was in her bedroom, on the floor, surrounded by photographs of Charlie and Colby together. The pills had hit her system hard, and she had fallen asleep for more than an hour.

Someone was calling her. "Amita, do you hear me? Open the door!"

It was Bob, but she didn't move. She didn't want to see her like this, because then she couldn't avoid the questions about the state of the rooms. Bob hadn't been at her apartment yet; all the times they had been together, it had been at his place.

"I'm not leaving until I see you're ok, do you understand that?" Bob continued, as he knocked harder on the door.

"Dammit," she cursed, getting up. She stumbled and stepped on the photographs as she went to open the door.

Bob frowned as soon as he saw her. "What happened to you?" She had to look bad for him to say that.

"I took a couple of sleeping pills, that's all. You woke me up," Amita managed to say as he entered the house and checked the rooms.

"What the hell is this?"

"What, the great Bob Berenson doesn't recognize obsessive behavior when he sees is?" she joked.

He turned around with angry eyes. "This is not part of the deal. I'm supposed to help you, people are supposed to see that you're getting better."

"Really? 'Cause I don't remember you saying anything remotely similar to that. All I remember is you calling me 'dirty, little thing' and putting your hands on me, nothing more."

That left Bob speechless for a few seconds. But then he snapped, "What about my reputation?"

"I think you should have thought about that before getting into bed with me," Amita stated, and she went to grab her things, including some photographs and one of the copies of Charlie and Colby's love scene. Then she stumbled a little bit more as she walked into the kitchen, chose a knife and put it into her bag, too.

When she returned to the living room, she ran into Bob again. As he wasn't saying anything, she turned to him. "Look, I'm not trying to damage your career, Bob. All I want is my all life back, that's it." He looked at her with worried eyes but remained in silence for now. "I'm going to Charlie's house, I need to see him, see how his father's doing," she added.

"But you're not ok."

"I don't know about that. But I'm going to do this anyway." She got closer to him, put her arms around him. "Patrick messed up my head, everybody knows that. _I_ know that. I try to stop the bad feelings, but I can't. I'm just going to fix things so everything can go back to normal."

Now Amita kissed Bob on the lips; then she went towards the door. But before leaving, she turned to him and muttered, "Just in case, I'd tell you to get out of town as soon as you can if you don't want to be related to this."

"Amita! Amita!" he yelled at her as she ran though the corridor and got into the elevator.

**XXXXXX**

_Get out of town as soon as you can._ Why the hell had Amita said that? Bob tried to find an answer to that by analyzing the rooms of her apartment. It was a total disaster, the food was decomposing and no one had cleaned anything for several days.

He had agreed for her to watch Charlie Eppes and Colby Granger's video while they had sex, he hadn't protested when she had decided to burn it into a DVD. He didn't care what happened to her as long as he got what he wanted and got out of it unharmed.

Yet, the situation seemed to have changed. Obsession cases like hers didn't usually end well. And that would certainly affect his career.

Slowly, Bob picked up a photograph of the gay couple from the floor. Eppes and Granger were just happily talking at the university. _So she's been taking pictures of them there, too_… Then he saw a portrait of Amita and Charlie on her nightstand, and he also picked this one up.

With both pictures in his hands, he went to the balcony. The windows were open; the sun was high in the sky.

And he could see Amita get into a cab.

Maybe he had made a big, big mistake by taking her as a simple, desperate, easily-influenced woman who needed some affection. He didn't know whether it was going to be a good thing or a bad thing for him, but she was definitely a lot more than that.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

_**A/N: FEEDBACK IS LOVE.**_


	14. Not ok

**Title:** "Not ok"  
**Series**: _Holding on to a lie_, part 14/?  
**Characters:** Charlie/Colby, Amita, Larry, Alan.  
**Rating:** M.  
**Spoilers:** None.

**Warnings:** None.  
**Summary:** Amita makes a desperate and unexpected decision.

**Feedback:** I love feedback. 

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Numb3rs or anything related to it, but I do own my creativity and any OCs.  
**Beta:**_Thanks to my amazing beta._

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

**Holding on to a lie**

**Part 14: "Not ok"  
**

Amita regretted the fact that she had got involved with Bob. What the hell had she been thinking about? As she heard the sounds of the city, Amita ran her hands over her hair, flattening it, caressing it as she thought about all the madness she was capable of. That was what really scared her. She was aware of her actions, and yet, it always seemed that she couldn't stop.

But maybe she could do it now that she had reached rock bottom and held herself together again afterwards. She had followed her plans for making Charlie miserable through Alan being sick, and finally she had had a breakdown after watching her ex-boyfriend having sex with his lover. She had then got a knife and decided to let the game start.

However, now that she was in the cab, surprisingly it seemed that all she needed was to sleep for a while and put her thoughts in order. _I can't do it, I just can't. I have to stop._

She wasn't able to dream about hurting Charlie or anything like that right now. She was a good person, a strong woman who could handle anything and everything. Maybe now that she didn't have Charlie in her life, she could start something new – travelling, taking up a new career related to her field, even trying to meet another man…

So she knew that she had to make things right. There was no point in keeping trying to make Charlie and Colby break up because it was stupid and not worthy. Thank God no one knew that she had replaced Alan's medication.

Amita had the chance to make a change. Smiling sadly, she took out of her bag the knife she had picked up from her the kitchen of her house before leaving. That had been the previous plan – a simple, silly attack. Now it seemed to be absolutely pointless, not to mention horrible. She put the knife into her bag again; that was not going to happen.

**XXXXXXX**

"Charlie, for the love of God, I'm going to be just fine," Alan said as he tried to get up from the bed, but Charlie held him down.

"No, Dad. You fainted, your cold is _not_ gone, you need to rest. You made dinner for Colby and me last night, you got up when you weren't feeling ok," Charlie stated. "I'm not taking any risks anymore. Whether it's Don or me, we're taking care of you and not letting you get up from this bed, do you understand me?"

The news didn't exactly thrilled Alan, because he locked his sleepy eyes with Charlie's and muttered, "Do you realize that this is almost like taking me hostage?"

Charlie couldn't help smiling. "Yeah, kind of. Except that it's for your own good."

"Well, I know that, but I'm not _that_ old."

"Who said I was keeping you here because I think you're old?" the mathematician snapped.

"Oh, nice way to let me know you think I'm _old_, Charlie," his father replied immediately.

There was nothing Charlie could do but take a deep breath and try to take things easy. Since he it had been his turn to take care of Alan that morning, his father had been grumpy and making weird assumptions during the time he wasn't actually sleeping.

"Ah, I'm sorry, son," Alan said, as he rubbed his face. He let his head fall onto the pillow and took a breath as he almost fell asleep again. "I have no idea where that came from or why I said all the other things I said today. I'm… I'm dizzy and so incredibly tired... Maybe I should get more of those cold pills, maybe I hadn't taken them as much as I needed…"

"Dad, forget it. Larry's doing some tests on them because we get the feeling that they could be bad for you."

"What? No, Amita was so nice to buy them for me. She's such a sweetheart, I'm sure those are fine."

_Ok, so you're right. But no matter how kind Amita is, someone could have put something dangerous in that little bottle. So no, you're not getting up._ "Dad…" Before Charlie could answer, the door bell rang. "I'm going to get that, you stay here."

"Ok…"

"Don't try to escape, I have eyes in the back of my head…"

"Oh, I remember telling you that when you were a kid. Sometimes you didn't want to have dinner because you wanted to keep studying your numbers," Alan said as he smiled with his eyes closed. "It was more than ok that you were so interested in them, but you needed to eat something, you know."

Charlie laughed happily. "Well, the roles always reverse, eventually." When the bell rang again and his father opened his eyes a little bit, he signaled to Alan, who just nodded.

"Hi," Colby said when Charlie opened the door.

"Hey, Colby." The mathematician noticed the agent's jaw and snapped, "What happened to you? Who did that?"

"David. He hit me after freaking out when he saw Amita. I don't know what the hell's wrong with him, but it's very disturbing, I can tell you that. When I see him again, I'm getting him to tell me what's going on." Once inside the house, Charlie's lover turned to him. "So, how's your Dad?"

"Does it hurt?" Charlie insisted.

"A little bit, but I'm ok. This is nothing compared to other times I've been hit. What actually bothers me is David's attitude," Colby muttered, and after taking a breath, he repeated, "How's your Dad?"

"Grumpy, but fine. He even wants to start taking those cold pills again, but I told him that's not going to happen." Even if Charlie was still worried about Colby's injury, he also couldn't stop looking at Colby with fascination. He still remembered how his lover had looked while he was giving him pleasure last night in the garage.

So indecisive and careful, yet so sexy and irresistible. What exactly did Colby like? Maybe something related to dirty talk, which was exactly what had made him let go the last time…

However, Charlie soon noticed that Colby wasn't thinking about the same thing. In fact, the green-eyed agent was taking too many deep breaths and he had a concerned look on his face.

"What's wrong?" Charlie wanted to know.

Colby looked around and came closer to him to apparently share some secret news. "I checked on Bob Berenson. He's got a pretty dirty background, you know."

"Really? But Megan recommended him. She should have known."

"She says he's good, but after my research she's not so sure about him being the best person to help Amita," Colby responded, waving his hands. "I don't know. She always sees these things, I don't get it. After her DOJ job, sometimes she doesn't seem to be the same…"

"And what do you think?"

"I think Berenson's got to have done at least one of the things that a group of women has accused him off – basically raping them as he messed with their heads."

"But… what you're telling me is extremely serious. And the guy managed to get away with it?"

Colby nodded slowly, walking around the living room. "Apparently, a great reputation can save you from anything."

"I…" For the second time, the door bell rang and Charlie had to go and open the door. "Hold on a minute… I'm going to take this, then I'll come back and we'll talk about that man. I'm seriously worried about Amita…"

It was Larry, at the door, rubbing his hands in circles, like he was scared of something. "Charles, I need to talk to you…"

He stopped at the sound of a car getting closer and parking in front of the house. It was a cab, and when Amita got out, Charlie could see Larry swallow hard. The pupils of his eyes narrowed, as a shock of adrenaline and fear reached his brain.

Suddenly, Colby's words came to Charlie's mind. _David freaked out and hit him when he saw Amita, because of whatever she did to him. Larry obviously won't do anything like that, but still… why's everyone acting like this when she's around? What's going on?_

"Oh, hi," Charlie said when he saw her.

"Hi," she responded, putting a hand on Larry's shoulder. "Larry."

The physicist jumped and moved away from her, looking afraid. "Hi, Amita."

"Hello, Colby," she greeted Charlie's lover respectfully, and he nodded, even if he was obviously uncomfortable with the situation after the incident with David at CalSci.

"Charlie, I just wanted to see how your Dad's doing. Can I see him?"

"Oh, um… yeah, sure." Even if Charlie was uncomfortable because of everything people said about Amita, he thought that it would be good for his father to see that people cared about him. "In fact, why don't you all come upstairs, so my Dad knows that people are visiting him?" Charlie muttered, inviting everyone to see his father. As he walked towards the stairs, he added, "Feel free to mention to him that you think he's _not _old. That could help me a lot today."

As everybody went upstairs, Charlie thought that Amita's presence at the house was certainly weird, and that she shouldn't have come; but he also got the feeling that Colby was making huge efforts not to get into a fight with her there because of Alan's health.

He could see him and Amita share a cold look, meaning things were definitely not ok between them. In fact, Charlie wondered if something had already happened between them, maybe a discussion or something because of David.

They didn't talk to each other, and neither did Larry. He followed Colby and never stopped acting weird. Charlie thought that it was one of those moments in which the physicist was working on complicated theories inside his head.

Upstairs, Alan received his visitors with a smile and his now usual sleepy face. While Colby said that he hoped he would get better and tried to find an excuse for his broken jaw, Amita said sweet things to him. But while they talked, Charlie couldn't take his eyes off Larry. He was worse than before – now he kept walking in circles around Alan's bedroom.

"Do you know if the pills have some dangerous component yet?" Amita said quickly

"Larry?" Charlie asked his friend, assuming he'd have the answer and that was the reason which had brought him to the Eppes residence. Maybe that would unblock his mind.

Without stopping his walk, Larry muttered, "Not exactly."

"Are you ok?" Amita asked the physicist. She had probably noticed the same behavior, which was odd even for Larry.

Within a second, the physicist turned to Charlie and asked firmly, "Charles, it is a _high_ priority for me to talk to you at the moment. Could you _please _spare me a minute of your precious time?"

As his friend sounded absolutely terrified, Charlie nodded and took him outside the room. "Whatever it is, Larry, you know you can talk to me. Do you have a theory that doesn't want to leave your head?"

Larry mumbled something Charlie couldn't understand. "Mmm? Could you say that again?" When the physicist gave him the same strange respond, he clarified his question. "What? Larry, speak up, I can't hear what you're saying…"

"Amita."

"Amita _what_?" It was _all_ about Amita, it was _always_ Amita. Why was that? _God, don't tell me Berenson has done something to her._

"According to my conclusions, she's the most likely person to have changed the pills."

"I don't get…"

"Charles," Larry said, and his voice and his body started trembling even more. He joined his hands as if he was praying and swallowed. "I made the tests… Those pills weren't cold medication."

Now Charlie stopped thinking about anything else. "What were they, Larry? What has my father been taking?" he asked, holding his breath.

The physicist seemed to be about to faint when he whispered, "Sleeping pills."

_There is no way that is true… Amita couldn't… No… _Larry nodded silently, and his expression certainly wasn't lying. Reality shocked Charlie. He felt a horrible pain in his stomach and shivers running down his spine. _So that's why she's being so gentle. _

"Oh, God…" In a second, he took out his cell phone and dialed his brother's number.

"Hey, Charlie!" On the other end of the line, Don seemed to be surprised by Charlie's dark, weird tone. "What's up? Did Larry get the results?"

"As a matter of fact, he did. Dad was taking sleeping pills."

"_What?_ How the hell did those get to the bottle Amita bought him?"

Charlie turned around so he could see his ex-girlfriend inside the room, but when he did it, he discovered Amita had left it. In fact, she was one a few steps away from him, with her eyes teary and her face blushed, because she seemed to have listened to Charlie telling his brother about the famous pills. She covered her face with her hands as Larry stared at her in shock.

But Charlie's conversation with Don wasn't over yet. "I have no idea how that happened. But I'm going to find out right now." This was because of Amita, the person he had refused to mistrust; it was his responsibility to fix everything. _Don't mess with my Dad. Not with him. _"I just wanted you to know that I'm taking care of it."

"Charlie! Charlie, wait a second, what are you going to d-!"

While Don kept yelling at him, Charlie just closed his phone. Never taking his eyes off Amita, he went towards her. "Did you replace my father's cold meditation with _sleeping pills_?" he yelled at her, not being able to control himself. "What were you thinking?! Why did you do it?! _Why?!_" He suddenly remembered Colby's words. "Is Bob who's messing with your mind? Is he?"

By the time he had finished saying that, Colby was getting out of the room. "Charlie, what's going on?" he asked, as Amita reached for the stairs, like she was trying to escape from the situation she had created herself.

"Don't you run away from me now!" Charlie yelled again, and he pointed at her; she stopped in her tracks, pulled her bag closer to her body. Feeling about to explode, he explained, "She… she gave my father sleeping pills. No wonder he's feeling so tired and needs to rest so much! No wonder he's lost his memory sometimes! Those are really dangerous if you don't have a genuine condition!"

"What? You…" his lover muttered as he took a step forward.

"I can't believe… I don't get it!" Charlie continued, getting closer to Amita, yelling at her as she turned her back to him, still with one hand on her face as she started to cry. "Amita, answer to me! What the hell is wrong with you? Are you ok or are you crazy?"

Slowly, she uncovered her face and slid one hand inside her bag. Then she cried loudly, almost screaming, and she turned to Charlie, Colby and Larry. She had tears falling down her cheeks, her make-up was a disaster and she seemed absolutely broken. "No, Charlie. I'm _not _ok."

"Then wh-?"

Charlie couldn't finish his question. He froze when Amita pointed a knife at him.

He stared at the weapon, only centimeters away from him. He couldn't believe his eyes, and what was even more dangerous, Amita was still crying, her hands shaking as she repeated slowly, "I'm _not_ ok."

Maybe Charlie wasn't an expert on dealing with people who had been in stressful situations, but his work at the FBI had taught him something – when people acted this way, they were capable of doing pretty much anything.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

_**A/N: FEEDBACK IS LOVE.**_


	15. Under control?

**Title:** "Under control?"  
**Series**: _Holding on to a lie_, part 15/?  
**Characters:** Colby/Charlie, Amita, Alan, Larry, David, Don.  
**Rating:** M.  
**Spoilers:** None.

**Warnings:** None.  
**Summary:** When Alan tries to save his son from Amita, there is a problem.

**Feedback:** I love feedback. 

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Numb3rs or anything related to it, but I do own my creativity and any OCs.  
**Beta:**_Thanks to my amazing beta._

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

**Holding on to a lie**

**Part 15: "Under control?"  
**

When David got into the office and noticed Megan's eyes on him, he knew Colby had told her about their fight. He shook his head, annoyed by his friend's attitude, but at the same time he was aware that he couldn't really blame him.

In fact, he regretted having picked up his internal fight with him. Colby was partner, his _friend_. How could he do that to him?

He remembered very well the moment Colby had come into the room of his apartment and taken the bottle of vodka from his hand. David remembered knowing that he was there, by the bed, while he slept to make the effects of the alcohol go away.

And he also remembered how he had denied everything. He just couldn't tell Colby "I was abused by Amita," or "She pointed a gun at me and made me have sex with her." David was a strong man, and besides knowing that the situation was embarrassing, he was sure that no one would believe him. Amita was a nice, sweet, fragile lady who had never done anything bad in her entire life.

But he was also human. And no matter how many cases he had had, no matter how many excuses he could find in his past experience to convince himself that telling someone what had happened wasn't pointless, he couldn't let his secret out.

Walking around the office, he stopped in his tracks. Don was inside one of the offices and looked very worried. Soon he was coming out, yelling at his cell phone. "_What?_ How the hell did those get to the bottle Amita bought him?" David had a weird, bad feeling, but he kept listening. "Charlie! Charlie, wait a second, what are you going to d-!"

Don stopped talking and looked at his phone; Charlie had obviously ended the call. When David thought about what his boss' words could mean, a horrible answer hit him.

"Don!" he said, walking towards him. "What was that? What did Amita do?"

"The bottle she gave to my father had sleeping pills in it," Don muttered, as if he couldn't believe what he was saying.

David took a deep breath. "Where is she now?"

"I don't know, but Charlie said that he's taking care of it, and he's at the house now. Maybe she's there with him."

"Don, we have to go there. That's not going to end well."

Looking at David, Don glanced at his cell phone again and licked his lips. "Yeah, you're right. We should go there. I just can't… I can't believe… Could it be possible that she had changed the pills?"

The question made David get really nervous. He could have told Don about his own experience, he could have told him that Amita was definitely not ok, but he didn't. "I don't know."

"I mean, that therapist we assigned her, Bob Berenson, could be a rapist or something. Colby did some research and found some very nasty stuff about him."

"Really?" David muttered. He had wondered why that therapist had let Amita go back to work if she was performing such disturbing behavior, something he should be able to see. Now, he had his answer – the guy was a sex offender and matched her just fine, which only made things more complicated and dangerous.

Don ran a hand over his forehead and finally reacted, too. "Yeah. C'mon, let's go. All this is really weird, but my father's health is involved and I'm going to dig in until I find if she was actually the one who messed with it."

**XXXXX**

_He knows. Oh my god, he knows._ Amita couldn't hold Charlie's gaze anymore, she couldn't stand looking at him in the eyes as he spoke to Don through his cell phone and told him that Alan had been taking sleeping pills.

Shocked, in panic and embarrassed, she covered her face with her hands._ And he knows who did it. After all, who could have done it but me?_

"Did you replace my father's cold meditation with _sleeping pills_?" Charlie had yelled at her, not being able to control himself. "What were you thinking? Why did you do it? _Why!_ Is Bob the one who's messing with your mind? Is he?"

_No, no. Bob came into my life long after I had started feeling like this. Long after my stupid mind had taken over…_

"Charlie, what's going on?" Colby's voice said.

Amita held her breath. _Oh god, Colby…_ She went towards the stairs, but stopped when she heard Charlie again.

"Don't you run away from me now!"

_No, no, no, no…_ Trembling, she held her bag, as if it was some kind of shield.

"She… she gave my father sleeping pills. No wonder he's feeling so tired and needs to rest so much! No wonder he's lost his memory sometimes! Those are really dangerous if you don't have a genuine condition!"

"What? You…" Colby muttered, and Amita could hear his steps.

"I can't believe… I don't get it! Amita, answer to me! What the hell is wrong with you? Are you ok or are you crazy?!"

_Maybe I'm crazy, but you're guilty… I'm not going to pay for this. You need to know what you've done. _She sneaked a hand inside her bag and took the knife she had brought with her.

"No, Charlie. I'm _not _ok," she whispered.

"Then wh-?"

As she had expected, Charlie stopped yelling at her when she turned around and held the knife towards him. "I'm _not_ ok."

"Amita… what the hell are you doing?" he muttered with his eyes fixed on the weapon, and she couldn't stand his scared, distant face anymore.

So she reached for him, grabbed his arms, turned him around and put the knife against his neck. She knew that besides not being able to read people's feelings, Charlie was easily-influenced during violent situations. Now, it hadn't been difficult for her to take control, knowing that he was shocked because of her actions and as a result, couldn't react to defend himself.

But Colby knew how to handle things. When Amita lifted her gaze, the agent was already pointing at her with his gun, while Larry stood behind him as if he was his shield. "I know you're not ok. But this doesn't have to happen, Amita. Why are you doing this? It's _not_ worthy."

As Alan asked what was going on from inside of the room, Amita answered, "What do you know about what's worthy or not, Colby?" She held Charlie closer to her body, pressing the knife a little bit onto her ex-boyfriend neck. When a tiny drop of blood came out of the wound and Charlie gasped in pain, Colby immediately put his gun down. "That's very wise… Now put it on the floor."

Colby obeyed her and when she said, "Your cell phone, too," he placed the little device on the floor, right beside the gun.

"Why? Why this, why now?" he said, anyway.

_Because what you two did was not fair. _"Get in the bedroom." The agent didn't move, even though Larry arrived in the room in a second, looking horrified. "I said, get in the bedroom! Do you want more of this or what?" she yelled as she made a little bit more blood slide down Charlie's neck.

"Wait!" Colby immediately said, putting his hands up. "Ok… ok… I'm going inside. Just don't hurt him."

She watched him go into Alan's bedroom, and once he was inside, she could hear Alan ask again why they were yelling and mentioning sleeping pills.

"Ask your son and his little affair, Alan," Amita muttered, standing by the door. "I'm so sorry." Then she went away, taking Charlie with her.

"Why did she have a knife against Charlie's neck?" Alan muttered in shock. "My God, she's got my son…"

Colby held his breath, his heart pounding hard inside his chest. He looked at Alan and glanced at Larry, who was walking around in circles, sweating heavily and trembling. "Mr. Eppes… She's not alright, she's probably going to take us hostages…" He took a step forward and bit his bottom lip. "But we have everything under control, don't worry…" No matter what, he didn't want to disturb Alan. He had enough with the effect of the sleeping pills. Considering the time he had been taking them, more than two weeks now, his system had to be very fragile.

Alan's eyes became big and his cheeks flushed. Colby should have known that even if the cold pills made him tired and sleepy, he was anything but stupid. "Under _control_?! She's out there with my son and a knife and we've got it under control?" Charlie's father yelled, as he messily tried to get up from the bed.

"Mr. Eppes, what are you doing? You're not ok…" Colby said. He noticed that Larry had approached Alan and was nervously mumbling something no one could hear.

"I don't give a damn about me, Colby, I care about Charlie, and as his partner, you should care about him, too!"

"Yes, I do care about him, and I'm trying to do something, but I can't let you…!"

"Listen to me – not you, not anyone is going to keep me away from stopping this insani-!"

All of a sudden, Alan's entire body jerked; he whined, put his hand on his chest, stumbled and fell onto the floor.

"_No!_" Larry yelled in a little whine and he ran towards him. He knelt beside him in shock, obviously not knowing what to do in this kind of situation.

In a second, Colby had knelt by his side and was checking Alan's eyes. _Nothing._ He listened to his breathing… _Too slow..._

He wanted to help Charlie but this was even more urgent. He finally rested his ear on Alan's chest, trying to hear his heart. _One beat. Two beats… _There wasn't a third one. There was silence.

"Oh my goodness, Alan…" Larry's voice faded.

Colby heard Larry cry in desperation as Charlie and Amita started a new discussion outside the room, then he started giving Alan CPR. He put the man's head back a little way and listened to his breathing first. Then he checked his pulse. They were both gone. "Mr. Eppes…" he whispered, then he covered Alan's mouth with his in order to give him rescue breathing. Nothing happened. "Damn it!" The next thing he did was compress Alan's chest, trying to restart his heart. He did it several times, ventilating his lungs at the same time, but nothing seemed to work. "No, don't do this to me, don't you do this to Charlie now, Alan, you can't!"

He continued giving CPR. "C'mon, Alan, c'mon! You're stronger than this!" Larry's cries and Amita and Charlie's yells made him tremble, as his training for this kind of situation seemed to be useless. "Alan, please…" he said, and he couldn't avoid starting crying, too.

He cried for Charlie, for Alan, for Larry, for Don, for his friends, for everyone. And he couldn't understand Amita. _Why Alan?_

And then, just after one more hit, Alan's heart started to function again.

"Oh," Larry muttered, as Colby cried from happiness. The agent checked Alan once again; feeling exhausted and angry as he sat on the floor, trying to catch his breath.

Slowly, he wiped away his own tears and covered his face with his hands. _Oh, God. Oh, my God._ He couldn't believe what had just happened.

Weird sounds coming from outside made him react again. He got up and desperately left the room. He knew Charlie and Amita had been fighting, and now he had just heard the noise of something going down the stairs.

Something… or someone_._

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

_**A/N: FEEDBACK IS LOVE.**_


	16. Fighting against a stranger

**Title:** "Fighting against a stranger"  
**Series**: _Holding on to a lie_, part 16/?  
**Characters:** Charlie/Colby, Amita, Larry, Alan.  
**Rating:** M.  
**Spoilers:** None.

**Warnings:** None.  
**Summary:** Who rolled down the stairs?

**Feedback:** I love feedback. 

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Numb3rs or anything related to it, but I do own my creativity and any OCs.  
**Beta:**_Thanks to my amazing beta._

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

**Holding on to a lie**

**Part 16: "Fighting against a stranger"  
**

Charlie almost fainted when Amita took control of him and ran the knife over his skin. He was a mathematician, he was an FBI consultant – yet he was afraid.

He was panicking and losing it, being in his ex- girlfriend's hands.

But he was also angry. He hated what was happening, even if he couldn't exactly figure out why he was going through it.

He had never experienced something like this. The desperation of getting involved in a car chase during a case wasn't even close to the pain he felt right now. It was Amita who was doing this; she was the one who was creating all this mess!

She was going crazy, and at the same time, she was putting his relatives and friends in danger, threatening to kill Charlie if someone made a move.

Alan's questions about what was going on got to Charlie's brain and it was horrible to watch Colby put down his gun in order to keep Amita calm. Larry was just speechless, unable to react – would he be able to survive this experience?

Shaking from head to foot, he sighed when she cut his neck. She had only taken a little bit of blood out of him, but it seemed that even a few drops could make Charlie faint just from being aware that he had been hurt.

It felt like everything was about to crush, burn and disappear. Yet, Charlie's attention was drawn to his father's eyes on him as Amita still held her knife against his neck.

It was heart-breaking to see those eyes; lost with fear, they were looking for an explanation that so far didn't exist.

Surprisingly, Amita left the room, not even closing the door. Charlie thought Colby would come and save him in a second, but that didn't happen. His lover was apparently fighting with Alan inside the room…

Charlie didn't know what they were saying. The pressure of being held hostage seemed to be too much for him at the moment.

However, he suddenly realized that Amita's hands were off him. He found himself being thrown onto the stairs, and he managed to hold on to the banister and keep himself on his own two feet. "Ahh…" he sighed, running his fingers over the wound on his neck. He couldn't believe who had given him that injury. Since when was Amita a violent person? Since when had she started building up such rage? "Damn it," he cursed.

"Damn you, Charlie," he heard Amita say, and when he turned to her, he found her picking up Colby's cell phone and putting it into her bag. After taking the agent's gun, she pointed it at Charlie, while holding the knife in her other hand. "Damn you, damn Colby, damn Patrick, you all did this to me."

"What the hel-?"

"Don't you play the ignorance card with me!" she yelled, waving the gun. "While I was kidnapped and tortured by Patrick, you and Colby were making moves on each other. 'Right, so Amita will probably die, so why don't we take our chance while she's out of the way?'" she mimicked Charlie's tone when he felt confident. Then she started to get closer and closer to him, occasionally looking back to see if Colby or anyone else was coming for her.

In a moment, she seemed to be wondering why no one had left the bedroom yet. The fight was still going on inside, and suddenly there was the sound of someone hitting the floor.

Suddenly, Charlie could hear Larry yell, "_No!_" and then, "Oh my goodness, Alan…"

_Oh my God._

He forgot about Amita and the fact that she had multiple weapons. She went towards his father's bedroom, not caring if she killed him or not.

She didn't. But when Charlie was able to see what was going on inside the room, his heart almost stopped. Larry was kneeling beside Alan, with Colby giving CPR to his old man. There was his father, basically dying.

_There is just 5-10 chance that the person who receives CPR survives._

He didn't say a word, and Colby and Larry didn't notice him there, but he did feel Amita's hand on his body again.

In less than three seconds, she had reached for him, taking him back outside the bedroom, taking him back to what amounted to a torture session.

She forced him to go back to where they were before, and she slammed him against the wall, placing the barrel of the gun on his chest.

Could he actually breathe? Charlie had no idea why he was still alive. He couldn't react; his body only did the things his brain didn't have to command.

Looking into Amita's big, dark eyes, which had once been sweet and charming, he realized that he was in front of a stranger. She wasn't the intelligent, amazing woman he had fallen in love with anymore; she was someone who had changed for the worst and wasn't willing to try to make things better for herself.

Changing pills, kidnapping, using guns and knives, causing pain to loved ones? Those weren't the actions of someone who wanted to get help.

Maybe this was Berenson's effect on her? Yeah, it had to be that. Amita wasn't the kind of woman to go crazy and try to kill her ex-boyfriend because he had found love somewhere else.

Although considering the circumstances in which that had happened, Charlie thought that in a way, she had the right to be mad.

"See, Charlie?" she said, breathing very close to his face, pressing the barrel of the gun harder against his chest, making him tremble. "This is what happens… when you disrespect the person you love… and go around having little affairs when she's not there." No matter how angry she was, her voice was still broken. It seemed that she didn't want to do what she was doing. Why couldn't she stop, then?

"Please, I know this isn't you…" Charlie muttered, trying to catch his breath in order to be able to speak. "I know you better than anyone, and…"

"You did know me…," Amita cut him off, "and yet, being aware of how much you'd hurt me… you did it, Charlie. You did it… You cheated on me with Colby… and you left me… when I needed you the most."

"No, Amita, it's not like that… It didn't start when you were kidnapped… It started be-"

"_Before?!_ And that's supposed to make me feel better?! You're telling me that you had a thing for Colby while you were still with me!"

Colby's voice came out from the room. "Damn it! No, don't do this to me, don't you do this to Charlie now, Alan, you can't!" As Larry's cries became silent, he continued yelling, "C'mon, Alan, c'mon! You're stronger than this!"

Almost broken, Charlie swallowed. Colby was still trying to save his father, and the first minutes were crucial. What if he didn't get to…?

The mathematician tried to erase those thoughts from his mind. If Colby was doing his best, he had to do something, too. He had to do something to save everyone, including Amita, from this hell she had brought into the house.

"Amita, look… That's true, but… you know that our relationship was getting colder," he explained. "But you have to know this. I will always love you as a friend, you'll always be welcome in my house…" Charlie knew he was lying, because he'd never allow her to come back after what she had just done, but if he had to say crazy things in order to save his loved ones, he would.

But Amita didn't react as he expected. Heavy tears were running down her face and she screamed in anger, "_No, you won't do that to me!_"

She started to hit his chest, trying to hurt him with the gun without shooting at him. Charlie made efforts to stop her, he tried to grab her hands, but she was out of control. Amita was cursing and crying, and there was no way to make her calm down.

They fought that way until they got to the end of the banister. They both teetered on the top step, then Amita reached for Charlie and took him down with her.

They both rolled down the stairs together, grabbing each other's clothes as they hit step after step, gasping and cursing in pain.

When they reached the bottom, Charlie could feel his body trembling from the hard bumps. He closed his eyes, trying to get his thoughts in order. Everything around him seemed to be shaky and he could barely move.

The only thing he could think of was that he needed to call Don. He made a huge effort to reach for his cell phone again, but when his fingers touched the device, someone else grabbed it.

Breathing heavily, Charlie opened his eyes and found Amita lying almost on top of him. All the memories of what had happened upstairs came back to him, and all he could do was try to get away from her.

He quickly tried to slide out from beneath her – he couldn't stand the anger and the fear and he just wanted her to stop - but before he could do it, she reached for him.

"Get away from me! Charlie yelled. "This is what Bob wanted to happen! Don't you see that he's manipulating you?"

"No! Bob did what he has always done, play with his little innocent patients whenever he can, that's all! He's got nothing to do with this! I'd felt like crap for a long time before Don assigned him to my case!" she responded, and her voice was absolutely broken.

"Amita, you wouldn't do this, it was that damn therapy!"

"No, wasn't! Why can't you accept that this is your fault, Charlie? Why?"

Charlie breathed hard. That question had stabbed him right in the heart because he had always been worried about how Amita would react after he and Colby had decided to be together.

He tried to get up, and he managed it, but when he was on his feet again and trying to get out his cell phone, Amita put the barrel of the gun against the back of his neck. It was obvious that while Charlie was forcing himself upright, she had picked it up –possibly the knife, too.

And Charlie was at her mercy again.

"Come here, Charlie… Please, don't fight with me..." Amita muttered and slowly, he let her take his cell phone and throw it away.

"Charlie!" Colby yelled suddenly, and he started coming downstairs.

Amita pulled Charlie towards her body again, using him as some kind of human shield threatening with her gun again.

But there were noises coming from both the front of the house and the backyard.

Amita looked around, with a desperate look on her face.

Charlie could feel her breathing hard against his ear when Don and David opened the front door.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

_**A/N: FEEDBACK IS LOVE.**_


	17. Payback

**Title:** "Payback"  
**Series**: _Holding on to a lie_, part 17/?  
**Characters:** Charlie/Colby, Don, Amita, David, Megan, Liz, Alan, Larry.  
**Rating:** M.  
**Spoilers:** None.

**Warnings:** None.  
**Summary:** Don and David find out about the hostages.

**Feedback:** I love feedback. 

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Numb3rs or anything related to it, but I do own my creativity and any OCs.  
**Beta:**_Thanks to my amazing beta._

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

**Holding on to a lie**

**Part 17: "Payback"  
**

The neighborhood was pretty quiet today. The house was very near now, only a couple of blocks away.

"You know, I don't like that Berenson guy. I never did, actually," Don admitted while he drove.

"I've never trusted him either, not even a bit. After all, he let Amita go back to her job only five minutes after he met her," David muttered with worry, right beside Don. "But Megan recommended him, so I never complained."

"Exactly. By the way, did you tell her about this?"

"I ran into her when I went to grab my things. She knows we're going to your house. She said she wanted to join us, but an agent came in and brought news about our current case."

"Ok, let her handle it while we're not around."

Don knew he had felt weird when David had said, "our case." Considering he hadn't participated much on it yet. Instead, he had spent his time fighting with his partner and dealing with whatever problem he had with Amita, he hadn't worked much during the last two days.

His boss was worried about him; David was his agent, his friend, and in moments like this he felt like a protective leader guiding the troops back again onto the good path.

If he only knew what was going on with David. "Colby told me you guys had a fight this morning."

He could hear David take a deep breath and see him shake his head, like he had been waiting for Don to ask him about that.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"But, David…"

"We're here."

David was right. They had just arrived to the Eppes house. Don parked the car, got out of it and went towards the front door.

"You know, David, this conversation's not over. We're going to talk later, ok? No matter how much you don't want to," he said to his agent. "I'm worried about you, man."

"I know you are. But this is my problem, Don, and there's nothing you can do about it," David explained, looking a little bit angry and nervous as they both reached for the door.

"Well, of course I can't do anything if I don't even know what's going on with you."

Slowly, Don opened the door.

He froze. There was Amita holding a gun against his brother's throat.

"Charlie," he managed to whisper.

A scared Charlie just breathed hard, as Amita said, "Don't come closer… not if you don't want anything… to happen to him."

Don looked around, trying to figure out what the hell was going on in his house. He was expecting everything but this. Amita hurting Charlie? And where the hell had she got that gun? And what about the knife she had inside her jeans?

He had one of the answers in a second. A flushed, unarmed Colby was coming down the stairs, calling Charlie's name. But the green-eyed agent stopped in his tracks when he noticed Don and David being there.

Everybody looked at each other, holding their breath.

"Don, your dad just had… a heart attack," Colby dared to say.

"_What?!_ How's tha-"

"The cold pills… sleeping pil-"

"Shut up!" Amita interrupted Colby.

"He's ok, Larry's taking care of him now," the agent continued, while Amita looked at him with angry eyes.

Don couldn't believe what was happening. "How could you…?" He reached for his gun.

"I wouldn't do that, if I were you," the insane woman formerly known as sweet Amita Ramanujan stated, as she placed the barrel of the gun inside Charlie's mouth. Don's brother writhed and squeezed his eyes shut in desperation.

But Amita wasn't looking at him. She was looking at David, who hadn't said a word since the door had been opened.

Until now.

"Don… we should… we should go."

"What? No, are you out of your mind?"

David whispered to his ear, "Doing this without backup could go very wrong. Trust me on this, Amita's dangerous and she's not easy to handle."

In a way, Don was surprised by how sure David seemed to be. It was like he was the only one who knew some kind of dark secret about Amita. Maybe listening to him would be the best thing Don could do.

"Ok…" he turned to her. "We're… we're going out. We can negotiate..."

Furious, she yelled, "I don't want to negotiate!" She was crying. "I just want my life back. The life I should have had before everybody ruined it."

"Alright, alright… but this is my family, my agent and Charlie's friend. Even if you don't want to negotiate, you'll have to do it, do you understand?"

More tears fell down her face. _"Get out of here!"_ Amita yelled, and she pointed her gun at Don.

"_Don!"_ David said, and they both went to the ground as Amita fired a few times to make her point.

Soon, they had both left the house and were holding their guns. The door was still open, but Amita slowly went towards it and closed it while using Charlie as a human shield again.

"Damn it!" Don cursed, knowing he couldn't shoot her without hurting his brother. He could see Charlie's scared eyes as the door got closed.

"Don, we need backup."

"I _know_ that already, David!" Desperate, Don took out his cell phone and chose one of the first numbers he had on his list.

**VVVVV**

More files landed on Megan's desk as she revised hundreds of them. However, the workload was being shared; luckily, Liz had offered to help her out when she had found out that Don and David had to go to the Eppes residence.

Now both women were working on the latest case, trying to find a murderer who was related to a female sergeant, Mary Miller. Their desks were full of papers and while Megan analyzed the psychological background, Liz searched for her job history on the FBI database.

"Do we have anything on Fulkner, yet?" Megan asked, looking at another file.

"Nope. He's clean when it comes to work," Liz answered, then turned to the other female agent. "Do you have anything that fits the psychological profile?"

"No… Unfortunately, this guy seems to be pretty normal… Although maybe that's exactly why we should consider him a suspect."

"Alright. We're bringing him here." Liz grabbed the office phone and made the call.

In the meantime, Megan flipped more pages of the file she had in her hands, building theories inside her head. The case was starting to make sense when her cell phone rang.

"Reeves," she answered. She could hear Don breathing hard.

"Megan, we need backup, ASAP. We're at my house. Amita's got Charlie as hostage."

"_What?"_ Megan forgot about everything she was doing and paid attention to Don's voice.

"She's out of control and she's got my entire family in there!"

"Alan's there, too?"

"And Colby, who told me my dad just had a heart-attack."

"Oh my God, is he ok?"

"Apparently, he is, but I'm not taking any chances."

"What about Colby?"

"He's unarmed. Amita's got his gun," Don rapidly explained. "And Megan?"

"Yeah?"

"She's got Larry, too."

Megan's cell phone slipped from her hand and landed on the floor.

Immediately, she could feel Liz putting a hand on her shoulder. "What is it? Did something happen?"

"Larry. She's got Larry… and Charlie… and Colby… and Alan."

"Who's got them?" Liz asked, with a worried expression on her face.

"Amita," Megan whispered.

"Oh, God…"

Megan could hear Liz asking something else, but her voice seemed to be very far away, so she didn't answer.

The question finally reached her brain. "Megan, _where_ are they?!" Liz was yelling.

It was time for reaction. In a second, Megan got up and ran towards the door. "They're at Don's house!"

She asked for a team, then gave people instructions. As she ran to grab her belongings, she couldn't stop thinking about how things had gone so wrong and how guilty she was.

She had made a horrible mistake by recommending Bob Berenson, because he had certainly not helped Amita to recover. He had probably even made her condition get worse.

Determined but shaking, Megan loaded her gun. It seemed that she was paying for her mistake, as well as for everything she had seen and done while working at the DOJ.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

_**A/N: FEEDBACK IS LOVE.**_


	18. Innocent

**Title:** "Innocent"  
**Series**: _Holding on to a lie_, part 18/?  
**Characters:** Charlie/Colby, Larry/Megan, Don, David, Amita, Liz, Alan, OMC.  
**Rating:** M.  
**Spoilers:** None.

**Warnings:** None.  
**Summary:** While Megan talks to Amita, Larry tries to find a way to escape.

**Feedback:** I love feedback. 

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Numb3rs or anything related to it, but I do own my creativity and any OCs.  
**Beta:**_Thanks to my amazing beta._

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

**Holding on to a lie**

**Part 18: "Innocent"  
**

"Don!" Megan yelled as she got out of her car, followed by a SWAT team. "C'mon, guys, let's do this!"

The woman's boss ran towards her and looked at the people she had brought. "Good job." Nervously, he ran his palm over his face.

"What's the situation exactly?" Megan wanted to know.

"Amita has gone crazy. She's got Colby's gun and she certainly knows how to use it."

"How? She's never had one in her hands…"

From the corner of her eye, Megan could see David grumbling something as he walked around. His hands were on his waist, his steps not exactly steady, and he was sweating. He was definitely tense, and from the way he licked his lips from time to time and shook his head, Megan was sure he had some information he hadn't shared yet with the team.

She'd have to find out what was going on with him if she wanted to save the hostages. However, defining an offensive strategy was the first thing she had to do.

"What do you think we should do?" she asked her boss.

Don shook his head, still looking very angry and unstable. "I…"

"The SWAT team's surrounding the house."

"Good, good. We're not breaking in until we get everyone safe."

"Ok. By the way, Liz went to get Berenson. He's flying to London in two hours."

Still running his hands over his face, Don nodded. Megan put a hand on his shoulder and then she went to give the SWAT team specific instructions about the house they were going to surround.

When she finished talking to them, she stared at the residence. So many horrible things could be happening there, given Amita's response to psychological treatment. Megan just hoped she could do some good, that she could help created a situation that didn't involve violence or torture this time.

She had to talk to Amita. She had to understand what was going on inside her head.

**VVVVVV**

Even if her body was trembling, Amita was perfectly capable of smashing Charlie against the wall and leaving him there. She knew he wouldn't move; he was too scared of her and didn't want things to end badly.

As he stood there, seated on the floor against the wall, shaking, looking at her pointing a gun at him, Amita's brain worked a thousand thoughts a minute. "Colby, show me your handcuffs. Keep one of them, but put the other and the keys to unlock them both on the table."

As she expected, Colby shook his head and took a deep breath. He was obviously trying to find a way to end the situation. Unfortunately, he wasn't in control right now.

Soon Amita got one pair of handcuffs and two keys from the table. She smiled at them, thinking they would provide her some of the happiness she had been seeking for so long.

"Let me see the pair of handcuffs you have there," she asked Colby, and she waited for him to show her the cuffs she had asked him to keep. "Now cuff yourself to the banister."

"What?" the green-eyed man mouthed.

She could hear Colby curse in a low tone of voice as he did what she had told him to. Now there was no way for him to attack her or even to get out of the house unless for some strange reason she decided to release him.

"Charlie… Come here," she asked her ex-boyfriend.

"No," Charlie muttered. "Why are you doing this?"

"I told you why."

"It's not enough reason. What else happened to you, Amita? What else?"

Charlie's trembling voice made her shiver, but it didn't erase her improvised plans from her mind.

"Sit on the chair," she commanded him, and she waved her gun at him. "_Now!_"

With messy movements, Charlie managed to get up and slowly walk towards the chair. He sat there and looked into her eyes as she got closer and cuffed one of his hands to the it.

"Don't look at me like that," she whispered. "This will teach you… how to be more careful with actions that affect others."

Charlie looked away breaking eye contact with Amita.

Then the front door of the house came open again.

**VVVVVV**

While Megan put on her Kevlar and left her gun on one of the vehicle's hood, she saw Don walking towards her.

"Are you going in?"

"Yeah. Talking to her will be the only way for us to determine what kind of things she's actually capable of, and how to make her realize how insane what she's doing is."

"Are you sure it's going to work? I mean… Amita knows how we work," Don said. "Maybe she's never been in the field with us, but she certainly has a clear idea of how we perform operations…" He shook his head. "Damn it, if it was anyone else inside that house, I wouldn't have doubts about this for a second…"

Megan took a breath and he tried to help Don to get his thoughts organized. "It's your family that's in there, it's totally normal that you're thinking things through over and over again. It's not the same when someone you love is involved."

This time, Don spent a couple of seconds just looking into her eyes. "And you've got to get Larry safe, too."

"Yeah," she muttered, and when Don walked out of her way, she knew he was letting her know that she could proceed with her idea of approaching Amita to get a good picture of her mental state.

But as she walked towards the house, Megan was also very aware that Don knew she was hiding her fear and her worry. She hadn't showed her desperation since she had arrived, she had managed to act like the efficient FBI agent she was without making mistakes.

However, what Don didn't know was that Megan used to keep a lot of emotions to herself. She didn't like to talk about her work at the DOJ, she didn't like to talk about her family or her adolescence. And to her, that was one of the things that made her strong.

"Alright, guys, we've got an agent coming in! Is everything ready?" Megan heard him say. And before opening the front door, she saw her boss give her a thumb up.

She adjusted her earphone and her microphone, nodded at the other agents and finally pushed the door open with her leg, as she kept her hands in the air.

"Amita," she said with a steady voice.

"Megan," Colby said, turning to her.

Megan noticed he had been handcuffed to the banister.

To the left, she could also see Charlie, the wound of his neck still bleeding slightly, his clothes a disaster, his hair a mess, with the little drops of sweat falling down his face as Amita adjusted his handcuffs.

And that was when Megan's arrival seemed to startle the dark-haired woman.

Amita turned to her and opened her lips, but no sound came out of it at first. But she soon raised her gun at Megan and said, "What the hell are you doing here? Don't you see getting into the house will lead to _serious_ consequences?"

"Of course we know there are consequences… but so there will be for you, if you don't stop this, Amita." When Amita shook her head, smiling and running her free hand over thick hair, Megan continued, "I understand that it must be very hard for you to try to go back to your normal life after all that happened to you. Patrick Garner had no right to hurt you and play with your mind."

Now Amita was paying attention to her.

"But that doesn't mean you have to be like him," Megan concluded. "Because what you're doing here, Amita, is mimicking his acts. Remember what you felt when you were with him. Do you want these people to feel the same way?"

The other woman seemed to be thinking. And slowly, Amita whispered, "Yes."

Megan couldn't believe what she had heard.

"Yes," Amita repeated, nodding and starting to cry. "Yes, I want them to feel the same way, I want them to _know_ what it was like for me to go through that and then find out that they were fooling around behind my back."

So there was no way for Megan to try to convince Amita using her experience with her ex-boyfriend Patrick Garner, the one who had kidnapped her and tortured her only a few weeks ago. As a result, talking about Berenson wouldn't work, either.

Megan was about to speak again when she heard someone yelling, away from them. Amita and the two handcuffed men looked at each other. The yells were coming from the backyard.

**VVVVVV**

"Alan… Alan…" Larry had been repeating over and over again as he walked around Alan's bedroom, never taking his eyes off his friend's body.

Eventually, he had knelt down beside him and just in case, checked if he was breathing. Fortunately, Charlie and Don's father had seemed to be ok. But Colby wasn't there if something else happened to him. A while ago the agent had left the room calling Charlie's name; there had been noises of something falling down the stairs and he hadn't returned.

But then Larry had heard people talking in the house. He had got closer to the door, still afraid to go out of the room, and had found out one of the voices belonged to Don.

He had tried to figure out what they were saying, but when two shots had been fired, Larry simply had simply hidden inside the room again and started to think about a way to get out of there himself.

If he could only take Alan with him; did Don know about the heart attack? Larry hadn't heard Colby tell him about it… in fact, he hadn't heard anything of their conversation.

When it came to Alan, he couldn't take any risks, he couldn't wait. He had to get out of there as soon as possible and find some help.

Time had passed, and suddenly there was the sound of a lot of vehicles getting closer to the house. It was probably the FBI, coming to rescue the hostages.

Now, Larry had just noticed that the window was almost open. An idea popped into his head, and he didn't like the fact that at the moment it seemed to be the only option he had, as he couldn't go down the stairs.

It took all his energy to find the peace of mind and the courage he needed to do what he was about to do. Shaking from head to toe, Larry went towards the window, opened it and slowly got out of it, grabbing the sill so he didn't fall.

Maybe if he could climb down the house and get to the backyard, he'd find the FBI already surrounding the house, ready to break in.

He was right. As soon as he got out of the window, he found some members of the SWAT team located in the corners of the wall that separated the Eppes residence from the neighbor's. From distance, those men were holding big rifles, which meant they were snipers. They were also talking into their radios, probably asking their boss how to proceed now that they'd seen a crazy man coming out of a window.

In desperation, Larry yelled, "Alan Eppes is in here!" But when he tried to signal to the snipers, his hands slipped from the open window and he fell onto the backyard from four meters up. He landed with a thump and a sharp twist of pain made him think he had sprained an ankle.

"For the love of Newton, _gravity_!" he grumbled with a vanishing voice, caressing his ankle, which hurt like hell.

But then he heard one of the snipers whistle at him and make him a signal for him to come closer. Larry awkwardly managed to get on his feet leaning against one of the external walls of the house. Then, he took a moment to calm down and control his breathing. Like he had said to Colby a few days ago, life in a monastery had the ability to make him especially vulnerable to highly risky situations.

His ankle hurt a lot, but he used all his energy to make a huge effort to reach the snipers. They were making more signals, encouraging him to go towards them so they could get him out of the house.

Larry didn't want to leave Alan, he wanted the SWAT team to rescue him right now. Silently this time, because yelling had been silly and maybe it would catch Amita's attention, he walked slowly, limping, cursing gravity and Newton for the first time in his life.

He finally reached the snipers. They helped him climb up the wall that surrounded the Eppes residence and soon, Larry was telling them about all the things that had happened inside. But the first thing he informed them about was Alan's health.

**VVVVVV**

"What was that sound, those yells?" Charlie muttered. "They're coming from the backyard."

Amita immediately looked at Megan. "Did you bring the SWAT team? Did you and Don tell your people to surround the house?"

Swallowing, Megan held her breath. She had to find the right answer that would keep Amita calm, but there wasn't any. Avoiding a response would be much better.

But suddenly she could hear Don talking to her on her earphone. "Megan, we've got Larry. He got out of one of the windows."

Megan gasped in shock. She knew that Amita, Colby and Charlie were waiting for her to talk, but she was lost in Don's voice. She had to find out how Larry was.

"He's ok," Don continued. "The snipers say he's got a sprained ankle, but other than that, he looks fine."

Now shock had turned into rage. How could Amita hurt Larry? He had always been so kind to her.

"How can you do this to them?" she finally said out loud, taking a step forward, still with her hands up. She looked into Amita's eyes and snapped, "There are innocent people in this house."

"Innocent," Amita said, laughing ironically. "You wouldn't call them that if you were in my place, Megan."

"What about Larry?"

The question seemed to upset Amita. She looked like she was admitting Megan was right when she said, "Ok, Larry was the most innocent among them."

"And Alan?"

Amita took a moment before answering. "Alan was… a plan that wasn't supposed to go this wrong. I guess… you could call it 'unexpected, collateral damage.'"

That was too much. "_Collateral damage?_" Megan yelled. "What the hell are you talking about? Alan's a good man who did nothing but encourage your relationship with Charlie for years!"

"And then he didn't care that Charlie left me for Colby!

"How can you know he didn't care?"

Breathing heavily, Amita waved her gun. "Shut up, I don't want to talk about that! He just didn't care, don't you understand?"

Now it was Megan's turn to respond. "The only thing I understand, Amita, is that you're not going to get what you want," she informed her. "We'll keep talking and eventually, you'll have to give up because you'll realize that this, what you're doing, is exactly what corrupted your own heart."

Still looking at Amita, Megan slowly started walking backwards, towards the door. She finally reached it and was able to get out of there without having to deal with any shots.

She was counting on the fact that some of her words had got to Amita's heart and eventually would have an effect on her.

When she was out of the house, she made signals to the SWAT team telling them she was alright. Then she saw Larry seated inside one of the many vans, his legs hanging from the vehicle as David talked to him and another agent massaged his ankle.

Just seeing Larry like that broke down Megan's entire confident act. Desperate, she ran towards him and pulled him into a hug. She couldn't do anything but cry and when she felt the physicist's hands on her back, caressing it awkwardly, she kissed his cheek, not caring if David was there and would see how weak she was right now.

"Larry… Oh my God, Larry…" she whispered.

"I'm ok, it's just my ankle… I'm more worried about the ones that are still inside," Larry answered, and then she pulled him into a hug once again.

**VVVVVV**

"Megan's ok, Don," David said, as he approached his boss.

"Well, at least Larry's out." Don's breathing was accelerated and he kept sweating heavily. It was great that Larry was safe, but he still had his entire family in the hands of a psychopath.

And he was still in shock that Amita was guilty of it.

"My father needs assistance ASAP, and I won't allow Charlie and Colby to remain in there much longer," he continued. Slowly, he started to feel the confidence he usually had in other cases. "Look, I don't want to take any chances. Maybe good won't be enough." Turning to his agent, he stated, "David, we're going to need our best sniper."

Without saying a word, David nodded, took out his cell phone and stepped aside to make a phone call. As he walked towards the street to find some silence, Don wondered how much more he could know that could help to end the case without any victims.

**VVVVVV**

The private jet was about to fly away when suddenly the operation was stopped. In a second, pilots were asking what was happening, making signals and asking not to be shot.

"FBI, don't move!" Liz said when the door of the jet opened. She and other agents got held their guns firmly as they made their way into the plane.

And Liz finally found who she was looking for. "Bob Berenson… you're..."

The therapist smiled from his seat; he never put down the cell phone he had against his ear. "Oh, boy. Agent, do you have any idea who you're talking to? I work for the DOJ and other federa-"

She went towards him, took the cell phone from his hand, closed it and roughly placed it on the next chair. Then she pointed her gun at him.

"Yeah, I know _exactly _who I'm talking to. And you're coming with me, whether you like it or not."

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

_**A/N: FEEDBACK IS LOVE.**_


	19. Holding on to a lie

**Title:** "Holding on to a lie"  
**Series**: _Holding on to a lie_, part 19/?  
**Characters:** Ian, Charlie/Colby, Amita, Don, Megan, Liz, OMC.  
**Rating:** M.  
**Spoilers:** None.

**Warnings:** None.  
**Summary:** Ian shakes some data while Amita tries to make a fantasy come true.

**Feedback:** I love feedback. 

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Numb3rs or anything related to it, but I do own my creativity and any OCs.  
**Beta:**_Thanks to my amazing beta._

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

**Holding on to a lie**

**Part 19: "Holding on to a lie"  
**

Driving to the Eppes' residence wasn't exactly a great time for Ian Edgerton. As he increased the speed, in spite of the sun shining and filling him with energy, he knew he had made a mistake.

And Ian didn't like how that felt.

He looked in the rear-view mirror; the day was so calm, yet he was heading towards an absolute disaster.

David Sinclair's call had taken him by surprise. He had been analyzing what case he'd pick up next, when reality had hit him once again, leaving him speechless. And that wasn't something that happened frequently.

Now he was trying to get to the Eppes' house as soon as possible. He'd handle it all, he'd take Amita Ramanujan out of there and save Agent Granger and Professor Eppes from her machinations.

Because if he was right, she had a lot more planned, and it wasn't good. How the hell hadn't he seen it?

But Ian's lips didn't tremble as he saw the first SWAT team members and the first FBI agents on the street.

He parked his jeep and looked around. He noticed Megan with Professor Fleinhardt inside an ambulance, with an EMT taking a look at his ankle. He also noticed David walking around, grabbing his head from time to time. Those weren't good signs.

Determined to take control of the situation, Ian got out of his vehicle and confidently walked towards Don. His sunglasses shone; his rifle hung from his back. Everyone stared at him.

The attention didn't worry him. He was there to fulfill a task so he could save the ones he cared about.

"Ian!" Don said when he saw the sniper, and ran towards him. "Thanks for coming."

"No problem. So she has them in there?"

"Yeah."

Megan approached them immediately and said, "She's under a post traumatic stress disorder that is affecting her entire psychological system. After a month of feeling impotent when it came to deal with the drastic changes in her life, she has had an excess of rage." Megan took a breath. "Her mind knows that things can't be the way they were before, but there's such disassociation that other part of her mind tells her that it's still possible for her to recover what she had."

"Isn't that a contradiction?" Don asked.

"No, it's a division of the mind in which two opposite views of the world can actually coexist. There's no conflict between them, there's no wrong and right. Everything is allowed as long as her world can get its balance back."

"I'll get her balanced, no matter what," Ian stated. "If I'm right, we'll have to take the professor and Granger out of there faster than ASAP."

"Why? What do you think?" David said.

"You mean, what do I _know._" Slowly, Ian took off his sunglasses. "I ran into her a few weeks ago. According to my records, it was the day after that guy named Garner broke into your house with all of you inside."

Don's face said it all; he was astonished, and that was exactly what Ian expected. "What? Where?"

"At the shooting range. I was in the middle of my routine and it seemed strange to find her there."

"Did you talk to her?" Megan wanted to know.

This time Ian took a deep breath. "Yeah. I asked her why she needed to know how to handle a gun and she said she wanted to get some shooting training because she felt unprotected after what she'd been through."

"So that's how she knows how to shoot," Megan concluded.

"What was she talking about?" Don snapped. "We were on her all the time, we found someone to help her… well, someone who should have helped her… There he is, Berenson!"

In that moment, Liz was parking her car, followed by other agents in their own vehicles. She nodded as she got a fifty-year-old man out of it.

Don ran towards Berenson and grabbed him by his lapels. "_You!_ What the hell did you do to Amita? Do you see what she's done because of you?!"

"I didn't do anything, damn it!" Berenson snapped, trying to escape from Don's hands.

Megan shook her head and said, ironically, "Yes, you didn't do anything but raping her, just like you did with all those other women you said you were 'helping?'"

Berenson didn't immediately answer. He stared back at Megan, and then he said, "What? _No_! Whatever she did with me, she did it because _she_ wanted to, I didn't force her _at all_!"

"_Liar!"_ Don tightened his grip on the old man's clothes. "You son of a…"

He was about to hit Berenson in the face when Ian put a hand on his shoulder. "Don, he's not worthy of you, you have to keep your mind clear. Hurting him will only affect you more."

And then Ian himself turned to Berenson and slammed him against the side of one of the SWAT SUVs. Keeping a hand on the therapist's shirt, he muttered, "Now, the fact that _I _hit him has the same physical effect on this son of a bitch but you don't get to stress yourself, see?"

"Hey, there's no need to push!" Berenson said.

"I think there is," Ian responded, getting closer to him, enjoying the fact that the therapist swallowed heavily.

But in a second, Megan was all over Berenson again, yelling, "Where the hell is your experience, your ethics, your _damn_ expertise! How could you survive working for the DOJ for so many years?"

Again, Ian had to be the one to stop someone else. He lifted one arm, separating Megan from the man, and he turned to him one more time. "We'll talk about what you've done later. Now, you're going to fix this situation."

Looking into the psychologist's eyes, he could see that he understood what that meant. "Ok, fine. Send me in. I'll cooperate," Berenson whispered.

His words had their effect. Don ran his hands over his face, while Megan folded her arms, but no one complained about Ian's idea because even if the therapist had made several mistakes, he could also be the only one who might be able to stop Amita.

"Come with me," Agent Warner said, getting into the back of the SUV. Inside there were a couple of SWAT members working with computers, analyzing the possible moves people were making inside the house.

She simply grabbed a device from a suitcase and turned to Berenson. "Listen to me very carefully. You're going to go in there with a microphone on. We'll put it somewhere it can't be seen so we can have an idea of what's going on inside."

"Am I going in by myself?"

She shook her head. "No. I'm going in, too."

Even if Don looked worried about that idea, he nodded and told Agent Warner to take care. He also thanked her for what she was doing and provided her with the guns she needed.

Soon, both she and Berenson had their protective vests on, the bug was ready and the guns were loaded. Don took the lead and announced to Amita by megaphone that Agent Warner was approaching the house. He didn't mention Berenson.

As the female agent and the therapist got closer to the residence, Ian starting loading his rifle. "I'm going to the backyard wall. Snipers need to be coordinated."

Megan, who was by his side, spent a moment in silence, then said, "Is there anything else you can tell us that would help stop Amita?"

Taking a deep breath, Ian responded, "She asked me a lot of questions about guns and bullets, and I answered her with the truth, of course. I never imagined that this would happen." He shook his head. "However, she asked me something I did think was weird."

"What?" Megan wanted to know.

Ian turned to the house as the evening arrived. "She asked me what I thought about cookies."

**VVVVVV**

"I'm not like Patrick, I'm not like Patrick…"

That was the only thing Amita had been saying since Megan had left. As soon as the agent was out of the house, the dark-haired woman had started walking backwards until her back had hit the wall.

Then, she had left her gun fall onto the floor. Grabbing her hair, she had started crying…

And all the time, she repeated, "I'm not like Patrick…"

But Charlie thought she really was like him. Changing people's lives, making them become what she wanted to, no matter what the consequences were.

"I'm not like Patrick…"

Tired and scared, Charlie watched Colby, who was still handcuffed to the banister. He was trying to get free, but his efforts were useless. Finally, Colby stared back at Charlie, breathing heavily.

They had to stop her. They had to work on her mind, they had to take advantage of her nervous breakdown…

Then she stopped talking.

Silence made Charlie and Colby looked at her again. Amita wasn't crying anymore. With her eyes fixed on the front door, she slowly got up, wiped her tears and took the gun she had let slip from her fingers a while ago.

She slowly walked towards the table, right beside Charlie. The mathematician held his breath, wondering what was happening.

And then Amita asked, "Do you like cookies?"

He didn't know what to say. He stared at her, not understanding the purpose of her question.

She repeated, "Charlie, do you like cookies?"

Again, he didn't answer.

"_Tell me, damnit!"_ She slapped him in the face, taking him by surprise.

"Charlie!" Colby yelled, and tried harder to break his cuffs, but with no sucess.

"Silence!" Amita ordered, as she raised her gun at Colby. "We're going to share a nice moment here, and you're not going to ruin it." Then she turned to her ex-boyfriend. "I'm going to make cookies for you, Charlie. Why wouldn't I want to greet the man I love with something nice?" Amita said, smiling cheerfully.

Trembling, Charlie watched her go into the kitchen and bring out the ingredients and other things she needed. She left them, went to get an apron, came back and started pouring flour on the table so Charlie and Colby could see her prepare the mixture.

Analyzing her insanity and the way her mind had adapted to a very disturbing fantasy, the mathematician wished everything was a dream, or even a very, very horrible nightmare.

Amita was physically hurt - she had bruises on her delicate skin after falling down the stairs, and her hair and clothes were a mess. She was surrounded by chaos, but she was making cookies – she was making cookies and smiling at it.

She was holding on to a lie.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

_**A/N: FEEDBACK IS LOVE.**_


	20. Two of a kind

**Title:** "Two of a kind"  
**Series**: _Holding on to a lie_, part 20/?  
**Characters:** Charlie/Colby, Amita/OMC, Liz, Don, Ian.  
**Rating:** M.  
**Spoilers:** None.

**Warnings:** None.  
**Summary:** They fight, but they're definitely two of a kind.

**Feedback:** I love feedback. 

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Numb3rs or anything related to it, but I do own my creativity and any OCs.  
**Beta:**_Thanks to my amazing beta._

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

**Holding on to a lie**

**Part 20: "Two of a kind"  
**

Amita hummed all the time while she was making the cookies, and she didn't stop when Don's voice came out of nowhere.

"Amita, Liz is going to come into the house. I want you to know that she's trying to help you, alright? She only wants the best for you."

Astonished, Charlie observed his ex-girlfriend still humming, distributing chocolate- evenly in the mixture, then forming a dough and wrapping it.

He looked at Colby, who simply nodded. Charlie opened his mouth to call her name, to make her react…

She turned around and went to the kitchen. Charlie kept his eyes on Colby, who was muttering something, "Stay calm. Don and everyone else are out there."

Shaking his head, Charlie couldn't answer; he simply took a deep breath and looked back at Colby, who mouthed, "Stay calm," again.

In a moment Amita was back, and she started grabbing the apron and the other things she had brought to the table. "I'm chilling the dough for only half an hour, I don't want you to have to wait for the cookies to be ready."

When Don's voice sounded again and she didn't respond, Charlie couldn't take it anymore. He muttered, "Amita…" and waited.

"What, Charlie?" she said in her sweetest voice.

"Don's talking…"

Somewhat relieved, Charlie realised that she was actually listening. According to his brother, Liz was about to come in…

Amita started breathing hard. Clearly aware of the situation now.

The door opened and Liz came on the scene - but there was someone else behind her.

_Bob Berenson. _

With a quick movement, Amita took Colby's gun from the table and pointed it at them. "_Bob?_ What the hell are you doing here?" she snapped. "I told you to go away…"

Licking his lips, Berenson put his hands up and said, "Hey, I'm not here because I want to, ok?" in a very harsh voice.

She clenched her teeth, her lips trembling, and asked, "Damn it, tell me truth - what are you doing here?"

"I…"

"Did you come here to destroy what was already mine?"

Looking surprised, Berenson glanced at Liz, who slowly started to reach for something behind her back. Charlie assumed it was a gun she had put inside her pants, and he swallowed, just imagining what could happen inside the house if she used it.

Liz nodded and Berenson looked back at Amita. "No, I didn't come here to hurt you in any way. I don't…"

"Ah, so you also came here to play your role, huh?" she said, coming around the table and getting closer to him and Liz. "You came here as the great Bob Berenson, the one who solves everyone's problems, when all you are is a manipulator who knows exactly how to twist people's mind!"

But Berenson immediately barked, "Shut up, you dirt-"

"What? Are you going to call me your 'dirty little thing' again? I'm not that anymore for you!"

"For the record, I was going to call you 'dirty bitch'! And as I remember it, things weren't that way! I didn't force you to do anything!"

"Hey, let's calm down, ok?" Colby said from the stairs. "Maybe we ca-"

Charlie felt his heart jump inside his chest when two shots were fired. He fell onto the floor, still handcuffed to the chair and taking it with him. He could hear Colby, Liz and Berenson saying things, some of them even screaming…

When Charlie opened his eyes and looked at the scene again, he found Liz lying on the floor with Berenson, covering him with her body. And apparently, they were both fine.

On the other side of the room was Amita, still pointing her gun at them. Her hands were shaking and she was crying. Apparently, she hadn't had the intention to kill them –at least not yet. She had simply shot at the furniture behind the therapist and the female agent.

"You loved me while you had me, didn't you, Bob?" she said, her voice breaking.

Berenson didn't answer.

But Liz did. She suddenly snapped, "As much as I like small-talk, we've got a situation here, alright? And you have to understand that it's over, Amita. It's over."

"Who says it is?" Amita demanded. "You? Bob?" She looked at Charlie and Colby. "Them?" Then she turned to Liz again. "I'm the one who decides what…"

"Oh, just look around! You've kidnapped an innocent family!" Berenson yelled.

"Hey, stop it!" Liz warned him.

Desperate, Charlie mentally agreed with her. Berenson's words weren't going to help fix the situation – in fact, they would only make it get worse. Charlie remembered well what Colby had told him about the man, about what he could be doing to Amita… Now both therapist and patient seemed to be two of a kind.

And Colby had been right. After Berenson's words, Amita started laughing hysterically, even though she still had the marks of tears on her face. "Oh my god, Bob – _unbelievable_! You are actually trying to pretend you didn't contribute to this!"

"I didn't! You never told me what you were planning to do!"

"And that's an excuse?" She shook her head. "C'mon, Bob. We both know what happened. We watched those videos of Charlie and Colby together. You never complained!" she added. "In fact, I think that if you're here, it's because maybe you fell for me and can't take the fact that I have other plans…"

"No, I don't _love_ you, for God's sake!" Berenson stated waving his hands, in agony and anger. "It was just _sex_, damn it! We had a deal - a deal _you_ suggested, by the way! All I did was fulfill my part, this insanity is _your_ responsibility!"

Amita wasn't laughing anymore. Her mouth was curved down, in a horrible expression of anger, pain and disgust. "Ok," she muttered. She lifted her hand and shot again, one bullet after another, until she spent them all.

Still lying on the floor, Charlie squeezed his eyes, trying not to hear the new screams and the scary sound of shots. He wasn't good at dealing with these situations. He just wasn't.

When the shots ended, he waited for Liz and Berenson to talk again. But they didn't, so he had to find the courage to look around the house in fear for the second time since they had come in.

He didn't see them. He panicked. Where were they? Were they dead?

"Liz!" Colby yelled, and Charlie saw him lick his lips in anger as he said, "Berenson!"

Finally, both of them came out from behind one of the couches, still alive. Cursing and running her hands through her hair, Amita threw Colby's gun to the floor and ran to the kitchen.

But there would be a surprise waiting for her when she came out. Charlie nodded when Liz signaled him to stay calm and silent and went to wait for Amita outside the kitchen door.

Liz had her gun. She was ready, and soon she had the kidnapper in her hands. When Amita came out, the female agent was able to put the barrel of her gun against her back.

"I've said it once, and I'll say it again. This is over, do you understand?" Liz stated.

Amita smiled sadly and responded, "No. This is just the beginning."

And then Colby yelled, "She's got a knife!"

No one had noticed that, and no one could react. Amita didn't seem to like her little knife anymore, she had taken a big one from the kitchen and she certainly knew how to use it in an attack.

She sank it into Liz's leg in less than a second, making her scream in pain and drop her gun. The agent ended up lying on the floor, grabbing her leg and cursing, "Damn it!"

All the time, Amita was watching her in admiration. As she smiled, she almost seemed to be enjoying the show. In a moment, she even glanced at Berenson, who simply hid behind the couch again.

Trembling, Charlie held his breath, and he could that Colby was holding his, too. Amita was absolutely out of control, and not even a direct operation seemed to work with her…

But Liz was getting up. She had blood coming out of the wound in her leg, but she still ran a palm over her forehead and looked around.

She looked at Amita's big knife, and suddenly both women looked at the gun on the ground. Maybe if one of them could get to it…

They seemed to be ready for a real fight, and when they locked eyes with each other, Amita looked like she was pleased to have found a challenging opponent this time.

**VVVVVV**

Outside the house, Don, Megan and David listened to the entire conversation between Liz, Berenson and Amita. Thanks to the bug the therapist had with him, they had access to valuable information that could help them develop a successful strategy.

After hearing the first shots, Don threw his headphones away and ran to the house, yelling, _"Charlie! Dad!"_ but Megan and David held him back.

A few seconds later, he was aware of what he was about to do. He was losing control because his brother was in danger, and he hated the fact that he still couldn't do anything to get him out of their house.

With her voice breaking, Megan said that she'd love to be able to get in but that they should wait for a sign that told them that Amita was vulnerable and could be taken down. David just nodded, not adding anything else.

"That damn woman!" Don ended up yelling, "I took a bullet for her, and now _this_ is how she thanks me for it?"

He still wanted to break into the house, and he was about to give that order, when Ian Edgerton's voice came to his ears, through his headphones. The man was with the other snipers in the backyard, and he was saying, "Wait. Listen."

Desperate, Don put on his headphones again. Inside, there was no sound.

Everyone frowned, and then Ian said, "We'd better hurry up. Whatever happens in that house, is going to get ugly."

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

_**A/N: FEEDBACK IS LOVE.**_


	21. Safe from harm

**Title:** "Safe from harm"  
**Series**: _Holding on to a lie_, part 21/26  
**Characters:** Colby/Charlie, Amita, Liz, Ian, Alan, Don, OMC.  
**Rating:** M.  
**Spoilers:** None.

**Warnings:** **Violence.  
Summary:** Amita really knows how to use a knife.

**Feedback:** I love feedback. 

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Numb3rs or anything related to it, but I do own my creativity and any OCs.  
**Beta:**_Thanks to my amazing beta._

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

**Holding on to a lie**

**Part 21: "Safe from harm"  
**

Colby swallowed. He couldn't reach for a gun. He couldn't do anything but watch.

Charlie held his breath. This was going to be bad.

Berenson licked his lips, whispering into the bug he had on, "Take us out of here, now."

Liz sighed and grabbed her bleeding leg. She never stopped looking at her opponent.

Amita took a step forward and got her knife ready for the fight.

**VVVVV**

"What the hell is going on there?" Don yelled when he heard the sounds of a fight – yelling, cursing, things getting broken, Bob Berenson's heavy breathing… He immediately called Edgerton. "Damn it, Ian, if you don't break into the house right now, I will, no matter what! Get my father out of there, now!"

Running his hands over his face, Don looked at the screen of the laptops he had in front of him. His father would be the first one to be rescued – but would he survive?

He hated not being able to think straight. And if he couldn't lead his team, then, what would happen to Charlie and Colby? What about Liz and Berenson? The noises that came from inside the house definitely weren't a good sign.

**VVVVV**

Amita certainly knew how to handle her knife, as well as she knew how to use a gun. Now she was swinging the knife skillfully, a deadly weapon in her hand.

In front of her, Liz walked backwards, being careful not to stumble over anything, always keeping an eye on the mad woman who had kidnapped her friends.

"Does your leg hurt, Liz?"

"Damn," the female agent whispered, conscious of her aching wound.

"Oh, poor Liz. The little bitch who hooked up with her boss. I think that means you're a real whore, huh?"

In that moment, Liz's astonished face said everything. _"What?" _

"How many couples have you broken up? Were they happy like Charlie and I once were before Colby came into our lives?"

From now on, Liz would have to be very careful with Amita. She was comparing her to Colby, and she would probably treat her the same way she would like to treat Colby…

But if Amita hated him, then why hadn't she hurt him yet? Hours had passed, and Colby wondered why he was still handcuffed to the banister, untouched. _Why can't he hurt me and leave Charlie and the others alone? I'm the one who screwed up everything in her life!_

"I never did anything like that," Liz stated, as she continued walking backwards with Amita getting closer and closer, radiating ill intent.

"Oh, yeah, right. That is _exactly_ what Colby would have said."

Liz turned to Colby, who simply shook his head and started trying to get out of his handcuffs. But if he hadn't been able to escape from them already, then his efforts to get free now wouldn't work this time, either.

Breathing hard, Liz turned to Amita again. And Amita attacked.

Amita swung her knife, trying to reach Liz's body with it. Her expression was furious and determined to do only one thing – cause more pain. Luckily, Liz knew what moves to use…

She defended herself with kicks and punches that Amita didn't even see coming. She had no chance to respond; soon, she was on the floor, catching her breath.

"You've got your secret skills in handling guns and knives, but what about a real fight?"

But when Liz went to grab her gun, the one she had dropped before when Amita had sunk her knife into her, her opponent was already running towards her.

She didn't get to turn around to face her. Within a second, Amita had jumped her, taking Liz with her onto the table, smashing her against it and putting her knife against the agent's throat.

"You might not be the best at fighting, but when your heart is broken, you're capable of doing pretty much everything," Amita muttered very close to Liz's mouth. But she wasn't really talking to her. Colby could see her eyes fixed on Charlie's who was resting on his elbows on the floor, holding his head but still trying to follow the fight.

Liz sighed when Amita's knife trailed her neck and then suddenly sank into her leg again. _"Bitch!"_

"Sorry, but I think it's the other way around."

And without a warning, Amita stabbed Liz's leg a couple more times, making her scream in pain and lose her energy…

Colby knew how that felt, it was like a war wound. She would have felt a heat on her leg, her nerves breaking as she couldn't move her body from the waist down.

"How does that feel?" Amita asked her, smiling.

"Bitch," Liz whispered.

And of course, Amita heard it. "What did you just say?"

The female agent looked at her in the eyes. "I said you're a bitch."

And with that, Liz was pushed back onto the floor, close to the table, close to Charlie, who was trembling from head to toe. "Stay calm, stay calm," she told him, and then she had Amita's foot kicking her in the stomach.

Desperate, Liz kicked out at Amita, striking her in the legs, making her fall onto the floor, as well. She dragged herself across the floor and reached out for her gun. Then she tried to point it at Amita, but she had the cold metal of the knife against her neck again. Amita took the gun and wrapped her arms around Liz's neck, chocking her.

She finally hit Liz's head with the back of the gun and the female agent was knocked unconscious.

"I guess you weren't that good, after all," Amita whispered, looking at the still body of Liz.

But then she looked around, like she had noticed something. She had her eyes on Berenson, who was behind the couch, and appeared to be talking.

_Damn, he's carrying a bug and she knows it._ Shaking his head, Colby tried to stay focused. He had to do something that didn't require him to get rid of his cuffs – but what?

Slowly, Amita approached the couch, and although Colby couldn't hear what Berenson was saying, the agent was sure he was talking to Don, telling him what had happened and that he wanted the team to come and save everybody as soon as possible.

"Bobby?" she said in a sweet tone of voice.

Berenson's head popped out from behind the couch; Amita's approach had obviously taken him by surprise, and caught him in the act. He dragged himself through the floor, trying to escape from her, but she took him by his jacket and stopped him.

He didn't even look at her. He just swallowed and waited. And suddenly, Amita's hands were all over him, opening his shirt, making the buttons fly away until she found the microphone the therapist had taped to his chest.

"Ah, so this is part of your little game, huh?" she said in anger, and she pulled off the bug from his skin, making him yelp. And finally, she talked to the device. "Don."

**VVVVV**

Don jumped in his seat when he heard Amita calling his name. She had obviously discovered the bug and was using it to communicate her demands.

He called Megan and David, but she was the only one who came into the van. David preferred to stay outside, walking around, like he was trying to make a decision or come up with a good plan.

Again, Don wanted to ask him what was wrong with him, but listening to Amita was more important than that at the moment.

"Don, I know you can hear me, and I'm going to say this once…" she continued. "I've got your…"

She stopped talking. Something unexpected had to have happened.

Don yelled, "Ian, go, go, _go_!"

**VVVVV**

Ian crossed the backyard alone. He needed the snipers outside, and as usual, he wanted to handle things by himself – especially in a case that was somewhat closer to him than the rest, given the people involved.

He rapidly climbed up wall of the house, trying to reach the window Professor Fleinhardt had come out of a while ago. It was pretty easy, and when he was able to get to Alan's bedroom, he held up his gun, just in case.

"Damn," he whispered when he saw that the room was empty. "There's no one here," he said to his microphone.

"No, my father has to…" Don objected.

"I'm going in."

Slowly, Ian checked out every corner of the room, and then he approached the door. He was reaching the stairs when he heard familiar voices.

He could see Alan coming down the stairs, as well as Colby handcuffed to the banister, but he didn't have a clear shot at Amita.

Of course, he would have just shot the perpetrator if it had been anyone else. But this was Amita, Charlie's girlfriend, someone who had worked closely with the FBI and who knew a lot of its techniques and tricks. If he pulled the trigger, he'd only hurt her; he wouldn't kill her, given the people who knew her and somehow still loved her, no matter what, like her parents.

What would Alan do? Why had he left his bedroom? And more important, how had he been able to do it? He had just had some kind of attack, according to Don. Where had he got his energy from?

The answer was right in front of him – the need to keep a son safe from harm.

He listened to Charlie's father as he talked.

"Please… don't do this," Alan muttered, holding to the banister as he walked down the stairs, step by step, trying not to fall onto the floor.

Everybody was staring at the pale old man, who was having trouble breathing. Amita had stopped talking into the bug Berenson carried, and Liz was on the floor, wounded.

"I'm so sorry, Alan," Amita said, looking at him with tearful eyes. "I'm so sorry. But this is fair, don't you see it? You aren't my target. Like I said to Megan, you're collateral damage. And I regret having given you the sleeping pills. I really do." Her lips trembled as she paused. "Please, don't walk anymore, rest. Sit at the table with us."

"But…"

"Please."

Alan and Amita looked into each other eyes, and after a few seconds, the man was walking toward the table, breathing hard while watching his youngest son on the floor, in the hands of a mad woman who apparently couldn't be taken down by anyone so far.

Ian licked his lips, checking his gun. It made a click, and he hoped Amita hadn't heard it, in the silence that had descended.

And there was her voice again. "Don, I've got your agent down, and Berenson won't be a problem for me. I also have Colby and Charlie still here… but I wasn't expecting your father to come down the stairs. The three of them are unharmed… but that could change if you don't make Ian Edgerton go away before I count to three!"

Ian cursed when he realized that the sound of his gun had been heard. He could hear Don's words through his headphones, saying, "Ian, get out of there, we'll come up with another idea!"

But he didn't go away. He retreated only slightly so Amita wouldn't worry about him, but he decided to remain very close to the stairs, waiting for a distraction so he could fix the situation.

He paid attention to Amita's last words to Don. "Your dad, your brother and I are having a family moment in which we'll have a very interesting conversation. And I'd love to invite you to share it, but apparently, you've decided to destroy the happiness we have. I'm sorry, Don. This is a private reunion you won't get access to."

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

_**A/N: FEEDBACK IS LOVE.**_


	22. With love

**Title:** "With love"  
**Series**: _Holding on to a lie_, part 22/26  
**Characters:** Charlie/Colby, Charlie/Amita, OMC, Ian, Alan, Don, Megan, David.  
**Rating:** M.  
**Spoilers:** None.

**Warnings:** None.**  
Summary:** She will break them because that's what they deserve.

**Feedback:** I love feedback. Feel free to share your thoughts. 

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Numb3rs or anything related to it, but I do own my creativity and any OCs.  
**Beta:**_Thanks to my amazing beta._

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

**Holding on to a lie**

**Part 22: "With love"  
**

Fifteen minutes after Alan had come down the stairs, things were quite different. There was silence everywhere. Only the heavy breathing of the hostages, now numbering five, could be heard.

It was all so beautiful. Alan had been so nice to Amita, he hadn't complained when she had asked him to tie Colby's ankles together with duct tape. Charlie's father was simply too sweet. And now there he was, seated at the table, enjoying the tea Amita had made for him and the rest of the family.

She watched him sip his drink and occasionally asked him, "Is it any good?" Of course, he was the world's best father-in-law – every time she asked him that question, he nodded and kept asking for more.

She didn't mind asking Charlie if he was enjoying his tea, either. He just watched the cup, his eyes red, as if he couldn't hold the pain the situation was causing him anymore.

Poor, genius Charlie. He absolutely deserved that.

He could ignore the tea, but ah, but he wouldn't refuse the cookies. He just wouldn't. Why would he? They were the lovely expression of the affection Amita had for him.

_You'll love me_.

"Cookies will be done in a minute," she said, as she looked around. "Do you want one, Liz?" she asked to the agent who was still lying unconscious on the floor. "I guess not." She smiled as she kept looking at the other people around the table. Besides Alan and Charlie, there was Bob, who kept watching his trembling hands and drinking tea like crazy.

No one looked at each other, everyone was enjoying the moment. Amita loved this kind of reunion in which the guests took a second to actually perceive what surrounded them and acknowledge the beauty of it.

It was time to check the cookies; taking a deep breath, Amita smiled to Colby, who was still handcuffed to the banister and now couldn't even move his legs. She went into the kitchen, knowing that Bob wouldn't react. She knew a lot about him, and what she didn't know, she could easily figure it out.

"Finally," she muttered as she saw that the edges or the cookies were already golden. She took them out of the oven, put them on a tray and carefully bit into one. They were just perfect.

**VVVVV**

Focused on getting the hostages out of the house, Ian Edgerton started walking down the stairs. When Colby looked at him and was about to speak, he motioned to him to be quiet. The green-eyed agent immediately nodded and waited for Ian to come closer.

As Charlie, Alan and Bob turned to Ian, their expressions turned from desperate to surprised and relieved.

Colby told the sniper, "She has to have something planned for me. She hasn't touched me since she started this…"

"Then I'm going to get you out of here," Ian said, grabbing Colby's handcuffs.

"No, _no_…"

"What?"

"I can guarantee that I'm the one she wants the most. If you take me out of here first, she'll take it out on the others, especially Charlie."

"How can you be so sure of that?" Ian kept shaking his head, and now he was pointing at the chains of Colby's cuffs with his gun.

"Don't do it, please!" Colby whispered. "I know what I'm doing. Let me handle this, I can take it. You can save the others and leave me here, I…"

In that moment, the sound of Amita's footsteps made everyone turn to the kitchen door. Breathing hard, Ian looked at Colby in the eyes and knew that he was telling the truth. He didn't like the plan, if the agent even had one. If this case had been anything different, he would have just broken in and ended the situation himself.

But that wasn't the way things were here. Cursing, Ian returned upstairs and saw Colby nod to the other hostages again, asking them to act as if the sniper had never been there.

**VVVVV**

When the oven door was opened, Amita hoped everyone could smell the wonderful cookies she had made.

"Ah…" she said as she smelled them again before leaving the tray in the middle of the table, where all her guests could see it. "Would you like a cookie, Alan?"

"Um… sure…" the old man said breathlessly, getting paler and paler with every passing second.

"You're a wonderful man, did you know that, Alan?" Slowly, Amita held Alan and kissed his cheek. She could feel him trembling, he could feel the way he got tense when she approached him, but she didn't care. This was her fantasy and she had the right to make it happen.

She watched him closely as he took a cookie and brought it into his mouth. He chewed it smiling sadly, but that was good enough for now.

"Don't you want a cookie, Bobbie?"

Bob's cup of tea almost slipped from his trembling hands when she spoke to him the way she used to when they were in bed together.

He wasn't saying anything, so she left Alan and went towards her therapist. It was so good to have him there, at the table, at the reunion. There were so many things she wanted to tell him.

In a second, she moved behind him, and saw his hands leaving the cup. "Don't you like the tea I made?"

"Of course I do."

She spoke into his ear. "Ah, Bobbie, don't lie to me. I know you don't." She ran her palms over his shoulders, cleaning the dust from his jacket from when she had dragged him onto the floor with her.

Then Amita started walking around the table, letting everyone see the gun she had inside her pants and the knife she had tied to her belt. "You know, I researched you, using the FBI passwords."

"How? My file was classified…"

"Being a great computer science genius has never been so useful to me, Bob. It was really easy for me to get your data. And I didn't like what I found."

Bob swallowed, and Amita licked her lips. She approached him again, enjoying every second of it.

"I know what happened to your wife. Amy Rowland – raped and murdered in an alley three months after August 12th,1989, which was the day you two got married…"

"Don't…"

"Don't, what?"

"Don't you dare… talk about her…"

Amita didn't pay attention to Bob's warning, and she continued, "A few years later, you started working with victims of rape because of her. You messed up your female patient's minds and dragged them into your bed on certain months that reminded you of Amy's death… You did to them exactly what you did to me…"

"Shut up."

"Why?"

"Just shut up!" Bob was yelling at her, now, but he didn't have the right to do that.

"I won't. Because, I'm sorry to tell you this, Bob, but the fact that you've helped a couple of people to get better doesn't excuse you for the abominations you've carried out!"

Bob hit the table, making the cups of tea and the pile of cookies shake. "I didn't screw up those women's lives, they weren't ok and _I_ wasn't ok at that time of the year, so yes, we had sex!" He was angry and he kept talking with passion. "It wasn't appropriate and I didn't do anything to stop it, it happened and you can blame me for it! But you talk about _abominations_ – then what's this? How would you describe _this_, Amita?" he asked, opening his arms, referring to the entire situation they were involved in.

"This is _justice_, it's not an abomination or anything like that," she stated. "You're doomed anyway. Remember the bug you brought here? It's still on."

With his mouth open in anger, Bob looked into her eyes, but then he stared at his tea cup again. He had obviously forgotten about the microphone and he had just realized that he had confessed his sins to the FBI team.

Smiling, Amita finally turned to one of her targets… Charlie hadn't reacted since she had gently asked him to get his chair up again and sit on it. Now he was staring at his own cup, just like Bob, but leaning onto the table.

She approached him from behind and ran her palms over his back, giving him a massage. "Relax, Charlie…" she whispered into his ear. "This is going to be over soon, if you cooperate…" Teasingly, she bit his earlobe, making him yelp. "Relax…"

"Why?" Charlie muttered with his voice broken. "Why can't this be different? Why can't we _talk_?"

"Because when you left me, you made a really bad decision, isn't that obvious? You played with me… now I'm playing with you." She bit his earlobe harder, making him clench his teeth. "Please, Charlie… help me with this. Just do as I say, and everything will be alright… Could you do that…, _please_?" This time, she enjoyed the sensation of his body at her mercy, against hers. "You're trembling. I like that."

She walked around him and started kissing his cheek, reaching for his mouth, talking as her mind filled with good memories, of promises, of a better future. She didn't even care if Alan or anyone else was watching.

"Remember when I was your student and we used to flirt with each other? Or when I used to come into your classroom and kiss you in front of everyone?"

"Colby and I never wanted to hurt you, you have to believe me…"

"No, you didn't want to, and yet you did. But now things are going to be the way they should… Since that day I knew I wasn't ok…"

"What day?" Charlie whispered as Amita kissed the corner of his mouth.

"Since the day… Patrick kidnapped me… all these images started to fill my mind," she explained, and she started running her fingers through his thick hair. "He showed me a video of you and Colby talking during the Bonnie Parks case. He said you were into him, and I didn't believe him. He turned out to be right."

There was so much silence around her.

"I could tell you my secrets, you know? You were the only person I could trust… After Patrick was killed and I did what I did to David, I decided that I wouldn't leave the country. I locked myself in my apartment… until the ideas became stronger… and stronger…"

Amita could feel the soft touch of Charlie's lips against hers as she continued her little, magical, disturbing tale. "I even went to the shooting range. Edgerton said that cookies were a good idea… I don't even think he got the real meaning of my question, but still, he gave me the key to this family reunion… Isn't it lovely?"

She could swear Charlie was saying, "Yes," as she took his breath away with kisses. The fact that she was claiming him in front of others was even more arousing.

"I didn't break. I got my job back… I came back and gave Alan sleeping pills. It wasn't my intention to hurt him, but if you suffered because of it, then it was ok. It was what you deserved."

Now Charlie's body was tense again. She showered his face with soft, sweet kisses as she finished the story. "I took pictures of you and Colby. And I taped you two together… Ah, the things I've seen you two do… I needed to get that love back to me, no matter what. It was the only safe place for me…"

"You taped us…"

"In the garage."

Amita felt satisfied when Charlie's eyes went wide open, as if he had just realized what she had taped him and Colby doing.

She stopped kissing him and stepped aside, but she kept running her fingers through his wonderful hair. "C'mon, eat a cookie."

"No."

That couldn't be true. "No?" she repeated.

Licking his lips, Charlie looked at her. His eyes were red and furious, and he reached for her arm, trying to hurt her. Amita reacted faster; within seconds, she was slapping him on the face, on his entire head…

"You're going to eat my cookies! They were made with _love_!" she kept saying as she started crying again, even though she felt overwhelmed by the way Alan was desperately asking her to stop.

_You'll love me - even if I have to break you._

She only stopped hitting Charlie when he got dizzy and didn't try to resist her anymore. Finally, she spoke into his ear once again. "Charlie, my mind is a disaster, don't you see? I know how it works and I know that what it tells me to do is wrong for all of you. But… it's good for me."

"Well, we won't let you!" it came a voice from outside the house. It was Don's.

**VVVVV**

"We won't let you, Amita," said Don through his megaphone. His mind was clearer and he felt much more confident now that he seemed to have some kind of key to end the case. "We've called your parents. They're on their way to L.A. right now."

He nodded to his agents, thinking about Tapti and Sanjay Ramanujan. He couldn't even imagine what it was like to have a crazy daughter who had kidnapped a family, a therapist and an FBI agent.

Megan suddenly came out of the van. She had remained there listening to Amita and Charlie's conversation. "Don, Amita says that she doesn't care about her parents coming here," she informed him, and then looked at David, who was seated on the street, grabbing his head.

Don also kept his eyes on David. He had heard Amita saying something important before he left the van. "After Patrick was killed and I did what I did to David, I decided that I wouldn't leave the country," she had said. Of course, Don had thought that the story of Amita hurting David was some kind of misunderstanding, some kind of confusion, because she had always been a lovely person… until now.

And at this point, it was possible that David's strange behavior was also a ramification of Amita's pain.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

_**A/N: FEEDBACK IS LOVE.**_


	23. The fix

**Title:** "The fix"  
**Series**: _Holding on to a lie_, part 23/26  
**Characters:** David/Amita, Colby/Charlie, Charlie/Amita, Colby/Amita, Alan.  
**Rating:** **M / MA.  
Spoilers:** None.

**Warnings:** **Non-con**.**  
Summary: **No one had the right to take advantage of another human being.

**Feedback:** I love feedback. Feel free to share your thoughts. 

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Numb3rs or anything related to it, but I do own my creativity and any OCs.  
**Beta:**_Thanks to my amazing beta._

**VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV**

**Holding on to a lie**

**Part 23: "The fix"  
**

_What are her plans?_

The images of Amita touching him in the most inappropriate way filled David's mind. His skin tensed every time, because he could really feel her fingers tracing parts of his body they shouldn't, forcing him to give her the pleasure that was destined to be somebody else's.

David didn't know where her limits were. He didn't even if she had any.

And he didn't really have to listen to the sounds that came from Berenson's bug inside the house, he only needed the occasional glimpse of Don's worried face to get the idea that things weren't going well, not even with Edgerton on the case.

Struggling with the situation was hard. He had drunk so much lately, but he hadn't been able to stop the nightmares…

Liz and Berenson weren't coming out of the house. David knew that he couldn't avoid dealing with what was happening, there was a very strong feeling in his heart...

_Colby's your best friend, your partner. He tried to help you and you pushed him away, you hurt him. He needs you and you can't turn your back at him right now._

"David, I need you to get in that van and tell me what the hell is going on in there, do you understand me?" Don suddenly told him in a harsh voice.

And of course, David responded. No more walking around, no more obsessing over the incident that had taken place at Amita's apartment a few weeks ago. He had to help save his friends, he had to get Colby to a safe place…

But as much as he wanted to, he couldn't take getting inside that house. He couldn't deal with Amita talking about the way she had forced him to have sex with her.

While Megan and Don talked, David got in the van and put on his headphones. His rapist was talking again, assuming that Don was the one listening.

**VVVVV**

"Don, the fact that you're bringing my family is not going to change anything. I almost never have any contact with them, anyway." Amita walked around, looked at Alan and said, "I'm so sorry you're so pale that you look older than you really are, Alan. You're such a vigorous man."

Then she turned to Bob, who was focused in drinking his tea, and finally she analyzed Charlie. There were people coming, yet he looked terrible. So she ran to the kitchen, damped a cloth and returned to the dining room. "Ok, let's get you all handsome again. You're going to meet my parents today, Charlie."

He just stared at her with angry eyes as she washed his sweaty skin with the cloth. Sometimes she even slid it over his dried lips on purpose, in an intimate, _public_ gesture.

But eventually, Charlie took his eyes off her. Amita knew she was looking at Colby and she hated it. She hated the feeling she could see and understand, a feeling that she had for Charlie while Charlie had it for Colby.

Charlie's voice distracted her for a moment, "You really don't care?"

"Care about what?"

"About your parents coming… About Colby and I…"

The question got her mad. It wasn't fair that he was asking that, when Colby and Charlie had hurt her so much. "Should I, considering what you've done?" she snapped, squeezing his shoulder harder than she should.

"You should," Colby suddenly said.

Annoyed that he had dared to actually talk to her, Amita turned around, leaving Charlie. "Oh, Colby…," she called the FBI agent. "I would suggest you shut up."

"Why? I'm telling the truth. If you loved Charlie, you'd care about how much he's suffering right now."

"No, there's no wa-"

"_Look _at him."

Breathing hard, Amita trembled. She wasn't expecting that reaction from her body. She had always known that this wasn't showing the world how much she loved Charlie, but her mind has managed not to pay attention to the idea – the desire of revenge and living out her fantasy had always been so strong that it had overcome everything else.

But Colby had said it, and there was love in his eyes, too, love for the person who was now on a chair not very close to him, but sharing the same feeling.

Looking at Charlie right now would an entirely different meaning. "I don't need to."

"Then tell me how the hell you're going to look at him after what you've done. Tell me that you won't feel any guilt."

Colby was being so honest, and his voice wasn't exactly steady, but he was certainly doing his best to… _work her mind._

She wouldn't let him.

She shook her head, trying to get back the feeling of being surrounded by a beautiful lie. She needed to recover it or everything would come apart and she wouldn't be able to take it. If that happened, then she didn't know how she'd react.

_This is not over._

Smiling, she ran her hands through her hair, and an idea popped into her head. It wasn't nice and it would cause her a lot of pain afterwards, but maybe… just maybe…

Amita covered her face with her hands. She felt sad and angry, and for some reason she couldn't stop laughing…

"Amita, please, reconsider this situation…" Charlie's voice faded after he said that.

She simply uncovered her face and looked at him, ignoring his pleading. "You'll see. You won't enjoy it, but you'll see."

Slowly, Amita walked over Colby and looked at him. She put a hand on his chest and let it slip between the buttons of his shirt. Then her fingers traveled downwards…

"Do you remember what you did in the garage?" she whispered. "Now you'll get to watch _me_ take what you love, just the way I watched Colby take what belonged to me."

There was a moment of silence. Then Colby's eyes went wide open in shock and Charlie said, "_No!_"

She knew she was going to make a mistake, just like she had made it with David… but again, the anticipation had been building up for hours and just the sweaty touch of Colby's body was overwhelming, considering what she was about to do to him…

She felt like Alice in Wonderland – chased but strong, powerful, willingly blocking any kind of regret.

What a wonderful world.

**VVVVV**

David held his breath. What had Charlie and Colby done in the garage that could have been so terrible?

When Charlie said, "_No!_" David tried to find the answer, but he didn't have a clue.

He recognized in his heart the same kind of desperation he'd had felt that morning when he had ran into Amita at CalSci when he was looking for Charlie. Then, the sensation of being at her mercy all over again had been overwhelming.

He had hit Colby and he had hated it. Maybe if he had explained to him what was going on with Amita, maybe if he hadn't been too afraid and too proud to tell anyone about the incident…

Maybe if he would have been a better friend, this wouldn't have happened.

His palms were sweaty over the headphones as he kept listening, trying to find a way to guess Amita's next moves.

"Ah, Colby… Always so willing to sacrifice yourself… in order to save the world…" she was whispering now.

**VVVVV**

_No… this can't be happening… __No, no, no, damn it!  
_

When Amita started tracing the front of his pants with her hand, Colby jumped against the banister, trying to get away from her. He hadn't expected this – Amita's lust, Amita's revenge…

_No. Just… no._

He had been so stupid. He had told Ian that he knew what to do, but in fact the only plan he'd had was to make Amita angry so she'd take it up on him and not the others. He had been a triple agent, he had been about to die, he had almost lost all his friends…

Apparently, there was nothing worse she could do to him and there was nothing he couldn't take. But Colby now realized that his choices about how to fix the situation had been the worst he could have made.

Ian probably couldn't even see him from upstairs – he didn't know what was going on. Colby needed to yell it, he needed to ask someone's help, since the people that were behind Amita weren't or couldn't do anything for him. Berenson was still, about to faint… Alan was trying to say something… Charlie was asking Amita to stop, and he had tears in his eyes. Tears and _horror_.

"Please, Amita… Don't… Don't…" Alan said, and his voice faded. Suddenly, he slipped from the table and fainted, taking the chair with him onto the floor.

"_Dad!_" Charlie yelled in desperation, and then he kept calling Colby's name…

He felt sick when Amita approached him. He could feel her hand opening his jeans, he could feel her breath on his face. He could even feel her tongue licking his bottom lip, teasing him as if she could drag some kind of arousal from him.

_David… This is what she did to you._

When she got a hand inside his pants, he couldn't take it anymore.

**VVVVV**

As he kept listening, David ran a hand over his forehead. He had heard Alan, then Charlie calling his father's name, then the sound of something falling onto the floor…

He couldn't wait any longer. He just couldn't. But then again - facing Amita? The simple thought of it made him tremble.

_Colby… _

Amita and David's partner, they were both talking…

"You like this, don't you?" she was saying.

"_No._"

"You do."

"I said I_ don't_! Get your hands off me, _now_!"

David lost his ability to breathe. His brain lost control of the memories and the potential damage the encounter could cause him. This was _Colby_, this was his _best friend_. He wouldn't let him or anyone go through the same experience he'd had.

No one had the right to take advantage of another human being.

"_No!_" David yelled as he threw his headphones away. He grabbed two loaded guns he had beside him and got out of the van. "_Colby!_"

He ran as fast as he could and he didn't look back when he heard Don yelling his name. David knew that no one would understand, but he didn't care. He didn't even care what could happen to him inside that house anymore.

Because, in this situation, he could be the key. He could even be the only effective fix.

**VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV  
**

_**A/N: FEEDBACK IS LOVE.**_


	24. The secret is out

**Title:** "The secret is out"  
**Series**: _Holding on to a lie_, part 24/26  
**Characters:** David/Amita, Ian, Charlie/Colby, David/OMC, Colby/Amita, Don, Megan, Larry.  
**Rating:** **M / MA.  
Spoilers:** None.

**Warnings:** **Non-con**.**  
Summary: **Shame. Pain. Filth. Wrongness. Oh, God, Colby… Oh, God. Amita just wanted you and Charlie to care.

**Feedback:** I love feedback. Feel free to share your thoughts. 

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Numb3rs or anything related to it, but I do own my creativity and any OCs.  
**Beta:**_Thanks to my amazing beta._

**VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV**

**Holding on to a lie**

**Part 24: "The secret is out"  
**

"David, what the hell are you doing? Come here right now! _David!_" Don yelled as he caught David running alone towards the house, carrying two guns. He even ran after him, but it was too late – David was already entering the house.

"Megan!" he called to the female agent, standing some distance away, discussing a new strategy with the SWAT team. She ran over to him, and Don noticed that she had just realized what had happened with David.

"Why did he do that?"

"I have no idea!"

"Something big must have happened."

Don nodded and got into the van, followed by Megan. Suddenly, they were joined by Larry, hobbling carefully on his sprained ankle but with undiminished concern for his friends.

"Larry, you shouldn't be here, you were supposed to be in the ambulance…" Megan told him.

"No, please, let me stay. I need to get a better view of the components of this twisted, crazy puzzle."

Don held Megan's gaze, then Larry's. He knew that the physicist was just trying to help, that his friendship with the ones who were in danger, especially Charlie and Alan, was the reason why he wanted to stay in the van.

"Alright," he said finally, and the three of them continued listening to what was going on inside.

**VVVVV**

"Take your hands off me, _now_!"

Colby's words took Ian by surprise, but the sniper got the message and reacted. He readied his gun and quickly went downstairs.

_I've had enough of this little game. I won't fail. I won't let it happen again. It won't be like the last time, I swear._

"Stop right there or this will end up badly for you."

Amita looked at him with surprise and anger, her hands buried deep inside Colby's pants as he tried to resist her caresses.

Ian was thankful that Colby had finally noticed his presence. He had obviously been in pain because of Amita's attack, but now maybe Ian could save him… He had to.

But, "_Freeze!_" a familiar voice suddenly said.

**VVVVV**

David kicked the door down, holding his gun tightly. "_Freeze!_"

He analyzed the situation, made a map of the possibilities in his head. Alan was on the floor, Liz had been knocked down, Berenson was speechless, unmoving with fear, Charlie had his eyes closed and was crying desperately.

Amita was abusing David's best friend…

Little drops of sweat ran down David's face – he'd end this, no matter what. He was glad to have Ian's help on this, but he wanted to take care of it himself.

"I can handle this," he told the sniper. "Let me do this."

Ian was about to protest, but the truth was David was the only one who somehow understood Amita.

"Did you hear me, Ian?" David repeated. And when the other man came down the stairs slowly and stood beside him, he knew that Ian trusted him to know exactly what to do.

**VVVVV**

Charlie didn't even want to open his eyes. He knew exactly what was going on, he had heard Ian and David's voices, they were trying to help…

But the damage was done.

The past couldn't be changed.

She had done it – yes, she had. It was impossible, and yet…

Yet, Amita had touched Colby right there… roughly, inappropriately, without caring about him or anyone… It had been only a minute, but it was more than enough.

_How could she do that? Why? Weren't the torture, the pills, the damn cookies enough?_

She obviously wanted everything, and she was willing to take everyone into her sick, twisted world.

But Colby?

_Oh, God, Colby… Oh, God._

What the hell did it feel like – being possessed by someone who had hurt the ones Colby loved the most, being taken in front of other people by someone he hated?"

Shame. Pain. Filth. Wrongness.

Would Colby survive this experience? Would Charlie's love be enough to heal him? Or would the marks on the green-eyed agent's heart and body be so strong to make him want to leave? After all, David had changed; it was evident that the reason for it had been that he had been abused, too.

But most important, would Charlie ever be able to stop feeling guilty for what had happened to Colby? Amita was his ex-girlfriend and he was supposed to know her, he was supposed to be able to interpret the signs of her insanity.

Charlie hadn't seen anything. Numbers, equations, criminal cases had made his mind their home.

He could even find shelter there right now, he could work on his calculations and stop the pain, get out of this world.

But he didn't want to. He knew that if he kept hiding from this, he wouldn't be able to find the way to fix things. No one could build up a theory and put it in practice without knowing all the facts, no matter how horrible they were.

So Charlie forced his eyes open.

He held his breath and told himself that he had to see everything – Colby, Amita, Ian, David, his father and Liz lying on the floor, even Berenson. He had to listen to every single world, to try to get the meanings.

It wasn't about numbers anymore. It was all about love.

And he could_ feel_ the love for Colby as they locked eyes. Ian was there, David was there… there was still a possibility to get out of the situation.

But was there a possibility for Charlie and Colby to survive as a couple after an experience like this?

_Stop. This is not the time to analyze that. Make your mind shut up, hold yourself together and listen. David's talking. _

**VVVVV**

As David spoke, he felt like he was finally doing the right things. It hurt like hell talking to Amita because of all the memories that brought back, but…

"Amita… Stop it. Just _stop._" He didn't look at Ian, who was pointing his gun at her, too. David was focused on her and Colby, and no one else. "Get your hand out of there."

"He likes it. He likes it when I touch him like that."

David could see Colby breathing hard, his tired and desperate expression as he made his last efforts to get away from Amita, no matter how impossible that was, given the fact that he was tied up.

"Have you listened to your own words?" David continued. "Do you really understand what you're saying?"

"I do," Amita responded, with her hands still on Colby's length. "He enjoys it the same way you did."

Colby and Charlie shook their heads, and David knew that they had figured out what his secret was. He wasn't surprised. It was evident as this point. Now the pieces were finally starting to come together.

The only one who was surprised was Ian, who stared at David for a second as if he couldn't believe the idea that was hanging in the air. But soon the sniper turned his attention back to Amita, who was speaking again.

"You don't want to admit it, but you liked it when I took you on my couch. You liked the fact that I stopped you from moving. You loved it when it was rough."

"No... That is not…" David muttered, and he could see with the corner of his eye that Berenson was shaking from head to feet, still seated at the table.

"You had your fun pretending I was that guy, the one you liked when you were young… Daniel, wasn't that his name?"

"I trusted you with that… yet, you turned it into the worst experience of my life." Trembling, David knew that his voice was fading, that he was losing control over it. "Not even your hate for Charlie and Colby gave you the right to do it, to me or Colby or anyone else."

"And you think I don't know that?!" she yelled at him. "Whatever I do, whatever I think about, I know that this is _wrong_. But I can't stop it," Amita was crying right now, "I can't stop it…"

She suddenly stopped. She wiped her tears and smiled. Then she started working Colby's length up and down again…

"Damn it!" David yelled, running towards Amita before she could take the gun she had tied to her belt.

He took her hand away from Colby, he _slapped _her on the face, he even took her with him until her back hit the wall. Having her heavy breathing all over his face and having her skin against his was only making memories harder to deal with, but this was necessary.

David was expecting it. The torture of being face to face with his rapist would break him.

"I told you to stop. You don't listen, then you deal with the consequences," he told her, and tears ran down his face. He couldn't help it. Tension was too overwhelming; he wasn't able to control his feelings and reactions. "Look at this place, look at this people. Look at the mess you've done."

While he was still holding her wrists to keep her against the wall, he could see her eyes on his. "Just do it," he told her in a whisper.

She intimidated him because, in a way, Amita had been right. David had hated the incident at the apartment, but a big part of that hate was because of the fact that he had somehow enjoyed it. He'd had his release… wasn't that liking it? Wasn't she just telling the truth? Because David had said Daniel's name, he had repeated it over and over again as Amita took advantage of him…

Evidently, she knew that. She had used that argument to fight against his, she had been aware of her effect on David.

Now, she was looking around, and he was whispering, "Liz. Alan. Colby. Damn, even Berenson. You hurt Charlie and the ones he loved. Was that what you really wanted?"

Her eyelashes were trembling as she finally spoke. "No… This is… I just wanted… _I wanted them to care!_" she suddenly yelled. This time David knew it - Amita's tears were real and she was speaking from her heart. "I wanted them to care about what they were doing to me!"

"Was this the way to get that?"

"No…"

"Then…"

"Then…" Amita looked into David's eyes. She gasped in pain and whispered, "I'm sorry… I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…"

Of course, David didn't answer. He had enough with his own guilt to take hers. He just listened.

"Please… take me to a place… where I can get better. Please… _Please!_"

She started to move, as if she wanted to hold David. He wanted to make as little contact with her as possible, so he tried to stop her from putting a hand on him. She was desperate and she still had a lot of energy.

Ian put an end to it. There was a shot and suddenly Amita stopped moving, as her mouth opened in a painful, silent scream and her eyes went wide open. It seemed like she wasn't there anymore.

David looked down and found that a bullet had been put into her leg. The wound was about to bleed and only one person could have caused it.

He turned around to find the sniper talking with a weird tone of voice – rough, disappointed, somehow painful. "We're done," Ian said as shook his head and left. It wasn't the reaction David was expecting.

Worried, he took Amita's gun and knife and took care of her until a group of agents and EMTs started to walk into the house.

The worst part was seeing Don and Megan looking back at him from time to time as they untied and helped the victims of Amita's craziness. David remembered well that the bug that Bob Berenson had brought into the house was still on.

His shameful secret was out and there was nothing he could do about it anymore.

**VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV  
**

_**A/N: FEEDBACK IS LOVE.**_


	25. Shelter and shield

**Title:** "Shelter and shield"  
**Series**: _Holding on to a lie_, part 25/26  
**Characters: **Don, Charlie/Colby, David, Megan, Larry, Alan, OMC, Liz, Amita.  
**Rating:** **M.  
Spoilers:** None.

**Warnings:** **Non-con**.**  
Summary: **Don will make things get better, no matter what.

**Feedback:** I love feedback. Feel free to share your thoughts. 

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Numb3rs or anything related to it, but I do own my creativity and any OCs.  
**Beta:**_Thanks to my amazing beta._

**VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV**

**Holding on to a lie**

**Part 25: "Shelter and shield"  
**

Without thinking, Don got out of the van after hearing Ian's words. "We're done," the sniper had said. The story was over.

"What happ-?" he tried to ask Ian outside the house.

"We're done," the other man repeated. He seemed to be reluctant to talk right now; he just put his sunglasses on and walked away.

Don didn't have the time to ask him the reasons for his unexpected reactions. He got into the house and just completely forgot about Ian, even about himself. But he knew that this was going to be one of the hardest moments of his life.

His eyes wandered around and found his agents, until he finally focused on Charlie. Taking the first step to reach for him was almost impossible. How would Don protect his brother? How would he be able to believe his own words – tell him that everything would be ok?

Don certainly didn't believe it. But he had to, for Charlie. Just for him.

In a few seconds, he was already between him and their father, who was on the floor.

"Charlie, everything will be alright, I promise," Don told him.

"Check Dad, please," was his brother's only response.

Of course, Don did what had been suggested. He told the EMTs who were coming in to take care of his father and the other victims.

Then he turned to Charlie again. "I'll help you. Things will be ok…"

"They won't." Charlie's eyes were red and swollen because of the pain and anger he obviously felt.

"Don't say that."

"It's the truth."

"Buddy…"

"Don't try to protect me, it's not going to work."

"But yo-"

"No, Don, don't do this. You can't… you can't make this ok. No one can…"

Don put a hand on Charlie's shoulder and squeezed. His voice sounded angry, but he was trying to make a damn point and his brother had to understand that. "Hey, no, you listen to me. I was right outside and ok, maybe I don't know exactly how you feel, but you can be _damn sure _that I'm going to work my ass off trying to help you. Don't tell me not to do it, I'm your brother and if I say that I'll make things get better, I _will_!"

This time, Charlie didn't answer.

One of the EMTs came over to check on Charlie, and Don let him work. As he stepped aside for a moment, he looked around the place. He found David's eyes and swallowed. The words that had been pronounced, the words Don had heard, were the most astonishing and horrible he'd ever had to deal with during a case.

He couldn't even imagine what it had been like for David to suffer like that for so long, even if it had been only a few weeks. Going through an experience like rape was hard enough for regular victims, so being an FBI agent and having to do the job while keeping the secret had to have been torture.

Worried, Don shook his head. Even if he understood David's weird behavior now, it wasn't enough. Things were going to fall apart and there was a serious chance that he couldn't do anything to stop it.

He could even lose another agent. Because, how would Colby recover from what had happened? Don didn't know if the way Amita had touched him had been worse than the way she had touched David or not. But that didn't really matter. The point was that probably not even therapy would be enough for them to get better.

And the truth was that Amita had done a number on everyone.

"Don," Megan asked him to get closer.

"Yeah?" He kept his eyes on Charlie as he walked towards her.

"How's your Dad?"

Don looked at his father as the EMTs talked to each other about his situation. "I don't know. I just… I don't know." Suddenly, she put a hand on his shoulder, supporting him the same way she had done it before, even when she was worried about Larry being in danger.

"I'm going to take care of David, Colby and Liz. You can focus on Charlie and Alan now."

"I don't think that will be possible," Don said as she shook his head. "They're my agents and I'm not going to let them down."

Megan's eyes on him made him feel her worry. And when she said, "Larry," Don watched her run towards her lover. Larry was just entering the house and trying to walk towards the EMTs to see how his friends were.

"Charles… Oh, Charles… Alan…" the physicist muttered, being held by Megan as he continued, step by step.

"Liz's hurt, but she'll be ok. And we've got Berenson's confession," David said as he passed by and left the house. Don stared at him until EMTs approached Liz and Berenson, carrying a trolley. A couple of them placed Liz on it and got out, while the others gave the therapist pills to recover from the shock.

It was too much for Don to watch him take the pills as if he was just another victim and not one of the people who had forced the situation and even arranged things for it to happen.

A little far away, Colby was being released from the handcuffs and the duct-tape. His eyes were full of fear and shame. He didn't seem to be the same man he used to be already.

But one of the EMTs interrupted Don's train of thoughts. "We're taking Mr. Eppes to an ambulance. We've got a trolley for him, too."

Carefully, that man and his group of EMTs placed Alan on the trolley and wheeled him out. They also got Charlie's hand out of the handcuffs and helped him to walk outside.

"Let me, let me," Don said as he asked one of the men to let him help his own brother. He put one of Charlie's arms over his shoulder and held his hip to make it easier for him to walk.

Charlie looked at him but didn't say anything. Then he turned around his head a little bit, and Don, did, too. He was looking at Colby and Amita.

When Charlie turned to look ahead again, Don could feel his pain and how much he was trying not to break down in front of everybody. And Don hadn't had enough time to get used to Charlie and Colby being together yet, but he did want his brother to be happy, no matter what.

It broke his heart to watch his sad, desperate expression – because that's what it was, no matter how much Charlie tried to cover his feelings.

Once they were beside the ambulance, the ETMs took care of the rest.

"I'm going to check on the others, I'll be right back," he told Charlie as Alan was taken into the vehicle and other EMTs were bringing Berenson and Liz into another.

According to preliminary analysis, Liz had lost a lot of blood but there was a good chance she'd make it. Colby was going to be taken to the hospital, too, because he had been exposed to physical and psychological torture.

And David should be as well … but Don couldn't find him.

Finally, he caught him in the empty van from which the team had been following the entire case outside the house. He was at the computer, looking for files.

"David, man, you gotta go to the hospital," Don told his agent.

David shook his head and kept looking for specific files on the computer. "I'm not."

It had to be the shame and embarrassment of knowing that his secret was now out, so Don leaned over his shoulder and said, "I am so sorry for what happened to you." He didn't know how to continue, but he tried his best. "If I'd have known about it, maybe I could have…"

"There was nothing anyone could have done. Please, drop it."

Occasionally, Don looked at the screens of the monitors David was focused in. When he did it now, he found the reason why his agent was there. He was erasing the evidence of the conversations that had taken place inside the house which included his problem with Amita.

"Wha—" he mouthed. "David, no. This is a case, we can't get rid of evidence like that, no matter what has happened."

The other man didn't pay attention to him, he continued erasing files.

"Stop it." He took David's hands off the keyboard and had to prevent him resisting. "Stop it."

Suddenly, his agent stopped fighting him and muttered in a desperate tone of voice, "Let me put an end to this freaking circus and do my job, Don. Don't take that away from me, it's all I have right now."

They stared at each other for a moment. This wasn't about following the rules anymore. It was about surviving.

Breathing hard, Don let David's hands go, put his own on the keyboard and erased the files himself. If he had to do it to keep his team and his family united, he'd do it. He'd handle the consequences for his FBI job later; the priority was somewhat different at the moment.

Then he looked at David again, who held his gaze for a second. Then Don's agent got up, nodded respectfully, swallowed and whispered, "Thank you," before getting out of the van.

Don watched him walk away. He took a breath as he could also see his team, his brother and his father being helped by the EMTs. Amita was being taken into an ambulance, too. He didn't see Ian at the scene anymore. Apparently, the sniper had left immediately after shooting Amita. Don would have to ask him why later and maybe he'd get an honest response.

Now it was time to go.

He returned to the ambulance containing his family, just as the vehicle was leaving. Alan was on the trolley but Charlie was seated beside him, watching an ETM check his father's pulse again.

It seemed that Charlie was about to cry and he couldn't be blamed for it if he did.

The time Don spent in that ambulance seemed to be eternal. Looking at his father in pain, at Charlie so silent in front of him, broke his heart. He just ran a hand over his forehead, wondering what he should do.

He would be the only shelter and shield his family had from now on.

**VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV  
**

_**A/N: FEEDBACK IS LOVE.**_


	26. The empty road

**Title:** "The empty road"  
**Series**: _Holding on to a lie_, part 26/26** (LAST PART OF THIS SERIES!)**  
**Characters:** David, Charlie/Colby, Megan/Larry, Don, Alan, Amita, Liz, OMC..  
**Rating:** **M.  
Spoilers:** None.

**Warnings:** **Mention of non-con**.**  
Summary:** David believed that the road would be empty, but he was wrong.

**Feedback:** I love feedback. Feel free to share your thoughts. 

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Numb3rs or anything related to it, but I do own my creativity and any OCs.  
**Beta:**_Thanks to my amazing beta._

**VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV**

**Holding on to a lie**

**Part 26: "The empty road"  
**

The road would be long and empty and David's brain couldn't stop thinking about what had happened. Seated at the driver's seat of his car, he hadn't turned on the engine yet. He could see the ambulances starting to move, he could even see Don getting in his own vehicle.

It seemed that the world had stopped after he had thanked his boss for erasing the files that kept his secret. He had walked straight to his car, and there he had remained, just thinking.

He was alone in this. He'd have to work on it by himself.

Still, there was everyone else, and they had all been affected by Charlie and Colby's relationship. Of course, it wasn't their fault. It wasn't even Amita's fault. No matter how much he hated her for what she had done, David knew well the consequences of finding out that someone was gay. His experience with his old school friend Daniel had marked his heart so he couldn't blame her for her insanity. He could only blame her for the choices she had made about how to control the pain. It wasn't OK to hurt others to find peace or to live a lie that sooner or later would fall apart, leaving everyone broken.

Looking around, David took a deep breath and had to admit something – something that he had always known but had been reluctant to say, even to himself.

He wasn't alone in this. The road would be long, but not empty, and Don was right.

David had to get some help - not because the manual said that victims of rape should, but because he needed it, because his mind had been trying to block and deny the pain but hadn't been able to make time go backwards.

Now it was the right moment to face the facts and make the suffering go away, if it was actually possible. So he turned on the engine and without telling anyone, he followed the ambulances and the team to the nearest hospital. As the evidence of his case had been destroyed, all he could do was trust his friends.

**VVVVV**

The doctors and nurses from the hospital worked with the FBI for the next fourteen hours and dealt with the rest of their patients as well. As much as David wanted to check on his friends and talk to them, he was afraid of what they might say or what the first look on their faces when they saw him would be like.

The only thing he did was ask the doctors how Colby, Charlie, Alan and Larry were; he even occasionally sneaked into their rooms when they were resting or sleeping and everyone else was talking to the nurses somewhere else.

The only person he had the guts to see face to face was his best friend. He went to Colby's room and tried to keep himself together as he walked in.

David simply stood there, in the middle of the room, waiting for Colby to lift up his head, and meet his eyes.

When that happened, David knew that they were both speechless, but also that there was no need for words. They understood everything that had happened between them during the last few weeks. They were at peace now.

David felt about to break when he saw the way his partner blinked. The green-eyed agent lowered his head, like he was ashamed of what Amita had done to him. David went towards the bed, sat on it and said, "Colby, that wasn't your fault."

The other man didn't answer, he just swallowed. His lips trembled as if he didn't think the same.

"Listen to me. You chose Charlie and Charlie chose you. There's nothing wrong with that. I haven't seen you so happy since… forever. You can't give that up now or ever. You have to keep going."

"If I hadn't felt the way I feel for Charlie, none of this would have happened."

"That is not…"

"Amita wouldn't have… done what she did to you," Colby took a breath, his body trembling, "She wouldn't have hurt Alan or Larry…" Suddenly, his voice broke. "Damn it, she wouldn't have screwed up Charlie's mind. Because I know that he feels guilty about this, and you know, maybe he doesn't want to deal with it…"

"He's not going to leave you, ok? I know he's not."

"You don't."

"I do," David said with confidence. "And you should stop feeling guilty, too. Like I said, this wasn't your fault – none of it. We couldn't know how Amita felt and what her reactions would be."

Colby shook his head. "But we could have been more careful with her feelings. She's right when she says that Charlie and I got together while she was kidnapped. It wasn't fair… It wasn't OK…"

David was desperate to help Colby, but he had to admit that Amita had a good point there. His partner and Charlie had chosen a bad moment to confess what they felt for each other.

He thought about putting a hand on Colby's shoulder in a gesture of support, but he knew what being raped felt like. Even if Amita hadn't actually forced the green-eyed agent to take her and she had only touched him, that could cause basically the same anger and pain as real sexual intercourse.

"I wished there was something I could do to help you… I know that it's not easy. But if you ever want to talk," he said, "I'm here for you, remember that."

Breathing hard, he watched his partner's eyes land on his, sweat running down his face. He held his gaze for a moment until he felt it was time to leave Colby think about their conversation for a while. So David got up and slowly walked out of the room.

Still, he stared at it from outside. He wanted to protect Colby, he didn't want him to suffer the same way he had.

"It wasn't your fault, either," a familiar voice said behind him. When David turned around, he found Megan standing there, looking at him.

Confused and ashamed, he almost panicked. But then he realized that the look on her face didn't indicate that she thought he was weak.

He didn't respond, anyway. He just looked away.

"David…" Megan muttered. "C'mon, let's go." She walked over to one of the benches that were in the corridors and sat on it. He took a breath and decided to follow her.

"I…"

"It's not your fault."

He was having the same conversation he had just had with Colby, except that now David was the one who needed to be supported. "You don't know the whole story."

"About Daniel?"

"Yeah."

"You're right, I don't," she admitted. "But I've seen this before."

"Rape? We see that almost everyday in our jobs, but this is different," David said, a little bit angry because to him, the comparison between work and his situation wasn't right.

Megan immediately shook her head, and her eyes became somehow sad. "I'm not talking about a case, David. I'm talking about my personal life."

That was unexpected. "What? Were you abuse-?"

"No. It was someone I knew, and I didn't do anything about it."

David remained in silence, respecting her pain. "I'm sorry."

"It was a long time ago," she said, but her expression demonstrated that the wound caused by that episode was still open and bleeding. "But the thing is, I can help now. And I don't want you or Colby or anyone to feel that you don't have any support. I'm here for you, as well as I'm here for Don, Charlie, Alan and anyone else who someone to talk to."

"Like Larry," David responded, smiling sadly.

"Yes, like Larry." When Megan repeated those words, it seemed that she was about to cry. It was probable that all the emotions she had been controlling so far were starting to come out.

Just as they talked, Larry passed them by. He respectfully nodded to David and went awkwardly into Colby's room, limping on his bandaged ankle.

"I'm going to see how Colby is. Why don't you go check on Charlie and Alan?" Megan asked. "Don's in there, too."

"Um… I think I prefer to stay here."

She smiled at him. "OK." Then she went to see Colby.

No matter what he had said, David was worried about his friends. He stood outside Alan's room, where Charlie and Don couldn't see him. Both brothers were turned around, watching their father sleep with a bunch of cables connected to his head, chest and arms.

While Don was in one piece, Charlie had bandages of several parts of his body, and when he walked over to a chair and sat on it, he sighed in pain. Falling down the stairs had to have caused him some heavy damage, especially since he wasn't used to being in the middle of situations like that.

"I could have taken care of Dad. You should have remained in bed, Charlie," his brother said.

"I couldn't do that."

Don shook his head. "Look, about what I said earlier…"

"I stick to what my beliefs. You can't fix everything. You can't fix this. I know you're my brother and that you care about me, but this is something I have to do by myself."

"So that doesn't allow me to help?"

"No, it's not that. I just don't want you to get into the nightmare of being me right now."

"Charlie…"

"Amita was my girlfriend, do you understand that?" Charlie explained. "I didn't think of her enough when Colby and I got together. I should have known that there would be consequences, it was obvious."

"You couldn't know that she'd go crazy," Don answered.

"I could have done things differently. I could have formally broken up with her before starting to flirt with Colby. We did it all wrong, and now… now everything's gone to hell, see?" With a desperate expression on his face, Charlie seemed to be about to cry. He looked at his father and muttered, "Look at Dad, look at what I did to him. Look at David's secret, at Larry. And how am I supposed to fix Colby? He must hate me right now… and even if he doesn't, he must not want to have anything to do with me anymore…"

While Charlie talked, Don had been walking towards him. Now he was sitting beside him and putting a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, buddy…"

"Just don't say that everything will be ok..."

Don took a deep breath as Charlie covered his face with his hands and started to cry. "Ok, I won't. But this is not your fault, Charlie. You can be sure it's not."

After Don pronounced the words David had said and heard the most during the last hours, the Eppes brothers didn't talk anymore. At least their relationship seemed to be still alive and strong.

As David walked away from Alan's room, he started to think about Bob Berenson and Liz. The therapist's case had been given to another team and he'd be judged and probably sent to prison. He wasn't going to play with people's minds anymore, no matter how many bad things he had been through. Just like Amita, he had based his entire choices on one episode of his past. Sometimes that was understandable, but the way he had handled the means to soothe his mind and heart had been the worst.

David walked over to Liz's room and found her sleeping on her bed. A nurse was beside him, supplying a new dose of blood.

"How is she?" he asked.

"With a couple more doses, she'll be ok. But we'll have to keep her here for a while to make some extra tests so we can be sure that she's ready to be outside."

"Ok… Thank you."

Walking around the corridors, watching people hope their loved ones would get better soon, David knew that he had one more stop to make.

He spent a while at the door of Amita's room, looking through its window, watching her sleep. The doctors had given her some sedatives and they had removed the bullet Edgerton had put into her leg. Now she had bandages on different parts of her body, just like Charlie.

If David had only talked about what had happened at her apartment, then maybe he would have been able to stop her. But it was too late for regrets, now.

"_Amita! Amita!_" a strange male voice distracted him. When he turned around, a man and a woman were coming towards the room, and Don was behind them.

Having to deal with Don's look wasn't so difficult now, after talking to some of the team's members, especially Megan. Still, David's boss didn't say anything to him. He simply guided the couple into Amita's room.

"According to the doctors, she'll be OK," Don told them. "They told me we have ten minutes to be here." Then he turned around. "David, these are Amita's parents, Tapti and Sanjay Ramanujan. They just arrived to LA. Mr. and Mrs. Ramanujan, this is Agent David Sinclair."

Both parents suddenly turned to David; their eyes were wide open and they looked ashamed and afraid. It seemed that someone had informed them about their daughter's actions and the sick circus she had created around her at the Eppes' residence.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," Mr. Ramanujan said, looking into David's eyes, but keeping the distance between them. "And I'm sure Amita is sorry, too," he added.

In a way, Mr. Ramanujan was right – As he made her realize of what she had done, David had seen the pain and regrets in her soul through her eyes.

When David turned to see his boss' reaction and Don simply nodded, he felt like he needed some fresh air. He walked out, trying to breathe; suddenly, the room seemed to be very small.

A doctor was walking towards the room. David had seen him taking care of Amita, Alan and Liz earlier. Maybe he had news about them.

Before David could approach him, a nurse started to talk to the doctor, and he seemed to be a little bit worried.

Slowly, David got a little closer to them so he could hear what they were saying.

"I need to speak to the father," the doctor said.

"The patient's father is in the room right now. I've been told that he's been talking about taking her daughter to India to get her some proper treatment if we can't help her," the nurse responded. "I can tell him that you want to see him…"

The doctor raised his hand, shaking his head. "No, no. I meant that I need to speak to the father of the child Miss Ramanujan is carrying."

David's entire world came apart in less than a second. He stumbled backwards until his back hit the wall.

No one would ever understand what being in that situation was like.

Desperate, he covered his face with his hands, thinking about the baby.

_It could be mine. It could be mine._

**VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV  
**

_**A/N: THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT!**_


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